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Lowell Sun: A large quantity of Viagra pills turned up during a motor vehicle stop in Shirley on Monday were about to be smuggled into MCI-Shirley, according to police. However, according to Elizabeth Vlock, a spokeswoman for the Middlesex District Attorney’s Office, the investigation into where 31-year-old Christopher Bartolomey intended to distribute the pills remains ongoing. Bartolomey, of Acushnet, was charged with possession with intent to distribute a Class E substance and violating drug laws near a school or park, Vlock said in an email Tuesday.
The motor vehicle stop occurred Monday about 5 a.m., when a Shirley police officer observed a speeding car, driven by 38-year-old Stephanie Silva, of New Bedford, according to Vlock. Silva was turning off of Harvard Road onto Shaker Road near the medium security prison. The officer pulled the car over and was given permission to search the vehicle by Silva, according to Vlock. The Littleton Police Department K-9 Unit assisted at the scene.
“A search of the vehicle allegedly resulted in authorities locating bags that belonged to Bartolomey,” Vlock stated. “Authorities allegedly found within the bags a large quantity of Viagra pills that the defendant did not have a prescription for in packaging that indicated it was for distribution.”
The Shirley Police Department released a photo on their Facebook page showing the Viagra pills, along with other contraband, including cartons of cigarettes, tobacco, alcohol and other items, seized during the traffic stop.
LOL. Hennessy and Newports. Even incarcerated hoodboogers know how to get their hands on that deadly duo.
Two questions need to be asked here:
- How the hell was he planning on smuggling that all in there?
- What on earth are prisoners going to do with Viagara?
Seriously though, they don’t even have porn in prison. What are you even gonna do with that thing for 36 hours? How much of a pounding can poor little Kyle Kennedy’s glory hole take in a five year sentence?
And what the hell is wrong with you if your tuna torpedo doesn’t work in prison? You can’t get drunk, so you can’t blame it on whiskey dick. You haven’t had sex in years, so you should be horny as hell and ready to punch the clown at a moment’s notice. Nah, this wasn’t spank bank viagara, this was bone zone viagara.
The Shirley PD didn’t post a mugshot for these winners, and I can only find one Christopher Bartolomey on the Facebook machine, and he’s from New Bedford:
I’m not saying that’s him. But Acushnet is right next to New Bedford, and if I saw that face out in public the first thing I’d think to myself is, “I bet he’s got at least 3 packs of newports lodged in his anal cavity right now.” Just sayin.