Newton Wrinklestiltskin Who Can’t Stop Calling The Cops About Leafblowers Has A Business Page And It’s Everything You Dreamed It Would Be And More

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Earlier today we blogged about some Newton SJW wrinklestiltskin who can’t stop calling the cops on landscaping companies for using leafblowers because they’re too loud. It’s a serious problem in Newton. VERY serious!!!

Her reasoning was that since she works on her “business” from home she can’t get any work done on her porch when these guys are trying to do their job. So we went to check out her business after we posted the blog, and her website is everything you dreamed it would be and more…..

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen:

That woman right there has influence in the City of Newton. Because of her professional landscaping companies aren’t allowed to do their job. That’s amazing.

Alright so, I have no idea what this business does or how it makes money. But it’s already the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen and I desperately want to know more. So I clicked on the performance tab and here’s what I found:

So apparently it’s a “business” for a bored housewife who likes the arts and has way too much time on her hands.

Up next was the “teaching” tab. What exactly does Beatrice Botox teach?

So apparently they spend an hour moving and “improvising” in order to get their creative juices flowing. Not sure what that means, but I guess this is what it looks like in action:

It seems to be the “Im still with her” patrol drawing pictures and/or dancing. Not sure who is paying what here, or if they’re all just friends, but it seems like a lucrative business for sure.

Then came the testimonials:

In other words, a bunch of her wealthy, progressive white menopausal lady friends from Newton and surrounding far left communities came over to sing and dance and they all had a great time.

Anyway, her house in Newton is assessed at well over $700,000:

I’m baffled, because her husband appears to also be an artist. I work my ass off and so does Mrs. Turtleboy, and there’s no way we could ever afford to live where she does. How the hell do people like this make so much money?? It’s mind boggling. Her husband’s are must be the prettiest art of all the art (Name that TV show – answer at bottom) for them to keep up with that mortgage.

You’ll also notice her bright yellow Elizabeth Warren-mobile in front of her freshly mowed lawn which more than likely required an extremely loud lawnmower to get like that:

Oh, and the apple does’t fall too far from the tree either, because her sister “Charnan” wants to sue AT&T because she’s got bad service:

Oh yea, these are the kind of people who should be setting policy for one of the biggest cities in Massachusetts.

Anyway, I still don’t know how to give this lady money if I were to retain her business. But if I was a landscaper in Newton I’d just charge by the hour and rake leaves instead. No sweat off their back. Sure, it’ll take ten times longer and cost ten times as much to do a job, but at least this crotchety old white woman won’t be inconvenienced by loud noises. We’ll see how much the people of Newton like her after that.

All I know is people like her are batshit insane and should generally be ignored when they come up with their crazy ideas. Instead the City of Newton has given in to her demands and now the cops get called to her house a billion times and can’t be out doing the job they need to do.

P.S. The answer was The Office, and one of my favorite lines from the history of that amazing show:

We urge you to support the following local businesses. They provide terrific services for the community!