• Like the We Support Turtleboy Page to keep up with our latest posts and turtle rider commentary

  • Newton Wrinklestiltskin Who Can’t Stop Calling The Cops About Leafblowers Has A Business Page And It’s Everything You Dreamed It Would Be And More

    Newton Wrinklestiltskin Who Can’t Stop Calling The Cops About Leafblowers Has A Business Page And It’s Everything You Dreamed It Would Be And More

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

    Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM





    Earlier today we blogged about some Newton SJW wrinklestiltskin who can’t stop calling the cops on landscaping companies for using leafblowers because they’re too loud. It’s a serious problem in Newton. VERY serious!!!

    Her reasoning was that since she works on her “business” from home she can’t get any work done on her porch when these guys are trying to do their job. So we went to check out her business after we posted the blog, and her website is everything you dreamed it would be and more…..

    This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen:

    That woman right there has influence in the City of Newton. Because of her professional landscaping companies aren’t allowed to do their job. That’s amazing.

    Alright so, I have no idea what this business does or how it makes money. But it’s already the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen and I desperately want to know more. So I clicked on the performance tab and here’s what I found:

    So apparently it’s a “business” for a bored housewife who likes the arts and has way too much time on her hands.

    Up next was the “teaching” tab. What exactly does Beatrice Botox teach?

    So apparently they spend an hour moving and “improvising” in order to get their creative juices flowing. Not sure what that means, but I guess this is what it looks like in action:

    It seems to be the “Im still with her” patrol drawing pictures and/or dancing. Not sure who is paying what here, or if they’re all just friends, but it seems like a lucrative business for sure.

    Then came the testimonials:

    In other words, a bunch of her wealthy, progressive white menopausal lady friends from Newton and surrounding far left communities came over to sing and dance and they all had a great time.

    Anyway, her house in Newton is assessed at well over $700,000:

    I’m baffled, because her husband appears to also be an artist. I work my ass off and so does Mrs. Turtleboy, and there’s no way we could ever afford to live where she does. How the hell do people like this make so much money?? It’s mind boggling. Her husband’s are must be the prettiest art of all the art (Name that TV show – answer at bottom) for them to keep up with that mortgage.

    You’ll also notice her bright yellow Elizabeth Warren-mobile in front of her freshly mowed lawn which more than likely required an extremely loud lawnmower to get like that:

    Oh, and the apple does’t fall too far from the tree either, because her sister “Charnan” wants to sue AT&T because she’s got bad service:

    Oh yea, these are the kind of people who should be setting policy for one of the biggest cities in Massachusetts.

    Anyway, I still don’t know how to give this lady money if I were to retain her business. But if I was a landscaper in Newton I’d just charge by the hour and rake leaves instead. No sweat off their back. Sure, it’ll take ten times longer and cost ten times as much to do a job, but at least this crotchety old white woman won’t be inconvenienced by loud noises. We’ll see how much the people of Newton like her after that.

    All I know is people like her are batshit insane and should generally be ignored when they come up with their crazy ideas. Instead the City of Newton has given in to her demands and now the cops get called to her house a billion times and can’t be out doing the job they need to do.

    P.S. The answer was The Office, and one of my favorite lines from the history of that amazing show:



    We urge you to support the following local businesses. They provide terrific services for the community!

    Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

    Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM


    unnamed (1)


    4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)




    Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


    1. Steven Stover

      Liz Warren mobile my ass. The Fake Indian rides around in a limo. Private jets. Mansions and a carbon footprint of a thousand people. This old bag prolly inherited some cash. She didn’t earn it prancing around like Peter pan. I bet the closest minority is 5 miles away. And if one black guy drove by her house she would call in the SWAT team. PS Ant minorities on he FB page or business page?

    2. hmmm

      I find it most amusing how her property values rose so high during Bush’s presidency but fell then squeaked upwards slowly until trump won. Don’t liberals are their hypocrisy???

    3. Independent Thinker

      Just another nutcase. I’ve seen better works of art at the local transfer station.

    4. dhddd

      This is the most Newton thing ever. we need more Turtleboy articles about the Real Xanax-Addicted Moms of Newton

    5. Wtf

      I think everyone should dump their leaves in her yard.

    6. El Gringo

      What gives with this Bitch. I’m an artist myself! Every year to celebrate Autumn I dress up like a Mexican, grab a bottle of Tequila and my leaf blower then dance around in my backyard creating interesting piles of leaves. What about my Fucking artistic freedom of expression?

    7. livesinlowell

      I fall asleep watching The Office every night.

    8. bigdaddy

      The only thing missing is the hyphenated last name

    9. F the Loony Left

      Nicely done, TB.

      Name ’em. Shame ’em.

    10. The Critic

      Her version of “improv” includes two fully developed characters and a basic plot? Sounds more like she was too lazy to finish the sketch

    11. Ron Jeremy

      British Inspector and a French Waitress………as if that wasn’t already overdone in every 70’s porn! How original.

    12. Phil Simms Sucks

      That’s it. She’s fucking ruined Wise potato chips for me forever…

      1. JoeMomma

        I wonder if Wise would be interested in that trademark infrigement…….

    13. don

      that is a male

    14. BB1953

      And I always loved Wise Chips

      1. Bernie

        TB, why the class envy? You sound like your pinko friend Red Danny. Why don’t you show some respect to your betters. Maybe her grandpa was smarter than yours. In this free American country, people have the right to pass down wealth. So suck it.

    15. DarwinWasRight

      Looks like an old tranny to me. The only thing missing is the little Michelle Obama bulge in the groin area.

    16. Golfingingermany

      Actually, her lawn looks like shit.

    17. Ken

      700k for a house near Boston is not a lot… specially a nice town like newton..

  • Heidi Wellman For Senate

  • arrow