All-Star Criminals

Of Course This Leominster Moron Who Tried Kissing Little Boys And Pissed In Front Of Them At A Splash Park Is Rocking the Chicago Bulls Flat Brimmed Hat

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Fox 25A Leominster man was arrested on Thursday after several mothers at a local park accused him of inappropriate contact with their young sons. Michael Brookman, 32, of Central Street, allegedly hugged and picked up the boys, running through the water with them at Fournier Splash Park Thursday afternoon, before urinating in front of them. Two of the mothers told FOX25, scared for their children’s safety, they confronted Brookman.

“He was like, ‘I felt a connection with your son. Can I spend time with him?'” said the mother of a 2-year-old. “I said, ‘No, I don’t even know who you are.’ He kind of got upset and (said), ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.'”

“As he was leaving, he had called my son one more time,” she added. “He gave him a kiss and a hug.”

The mom of a 5-year-old boy explained a similarly frightening experience.

“He walked by my son and made a comment about wanting to bond with him. So I just told him to walk away, stay away from my children,” she said. “He started swearing some more…. He stopped, went over and urinated on the side of the building.”

A third mother told police Brookman “grabbed my son by his hips and my son immediately ran over to me,” according to a police report obtained by FOX25.

The 5-year-old’s mother called Leominster police, who reported they found Brookman stumbling and carrying a small bottle of alcohol.

“His speech was slow and slurred, his eyes were bloodshot and it was evident that he was in fact intoxicated,” the police report says.

Brookman allegedly resisted arrest, striking a police officer. Once in jail, Brookman began strangling himself with his own shirt, the police report states, and tried to keep officers out of his cell with his foot. Police were forced to use a stun gun to subdue him, the document says. Brookman then allegedly threatened “to kill all cops when he gets out.”

Brookman was arraigned on Friday on charges of open and gross lewdness, disturbing the peace, disorderly conduct, protective custody and two counts of assault and battery on a police officer.

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First thing we do when we find out about slug rakes like this is go directly to their Facebook page. And when I read about what this pedophile in training did and how he acted like a hardo to the cops, I knew immediately we would find a picture of him wearing a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. Seriously, it is the primary part of the REQUIRED uniform of twatwaffles everywhere. And look what his profile picture is:



As if it was ever in doubt. Bonus dooshnozzle points if you keep the sticker on, because apparently the “I’m going to return this hat to the store” look is in with muffs like Michael Brookman. I mean, just look at this guy. Dressed up like he’s trying out to be an extra in a 90’s rap video. Where do you even buy shorts like that? Are those sweat cargo shorts? Do they sell those at Marshalls? And what kind of grown ass man has that much time to put into matching? I’ll tell you who – the same kind of man who takes glamour shots on the stoops of public housing in Leominster.

Oh yea, and we’re all really scared that this guy is gonna follow through on his plan to “kill all cops.” I mean, just look at this turdlinger:


The only thing he’s killing is property value!

Anyway, the most shocking part about this is that this guy didn’t get socked in the face by one of these Moms. Rule #1 of the wild – do not fuck with a Momma Bear’s cubs. Especially if they’re near Fitchburg or Leominster. Not only did this numbnuts think it was OK to grab and kiss kids, but when one Mom finally told him to beat it he took a freaking wizz right in front of their kids.

And please, don’t blame this on the booze. We’ve all been drunk before. Most adults are usually just drunk at night, and we try to avoid kids and parks at all costs. Not Mikey Brookman though. He goes to the liquor store, buy a bunch of Mad Dog 20/20, puts on his ghettofabulous outfit, and heads out for a long day of bonding with two year old boys at a public park.

Oh yea, and he has a daughter. So that’s good. Now cue the bad asses in the comments with the “If I was there there would’ve been two people going to jail” commentary.



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16 Comment(s)
  • Reddog
    August 21, 2016 at 2:39 am

    Great place,been there. There are like 4 ports potties by the picnic table area by the parking lot. Guy couldn’t manage to find his way into one? What a fruit loop.

  • First Time Caller
    August 20, 2016 at 9:53 pm

    Too bad the cops noticed this twatbag strangling himself.

  • Kevin Lynch
    August 20, 2016 at 9:47 pm

    If i was there his ass would hurting

    • Turd Burglestein
      August 21, 2016 at 12:03 pm

      What golf club you gonna use there lil kevvie?

    • whatevuh
      August 21, 2016 at 5:36 pm

      we don’t need no fudge packers images on this story

    • Troy bilt
      August 22, 2016 at 12:56 pm

      Shut up and shovel your snow, ya lazy bastard!

  • Alternative thinker
    August 20, 2016 at 8:12 pm

    Is that a tattoo of Massachusetts on his right leg (our left looking at him)? Although it could be a crude drawing of a penis & balls like I saw when I was 11 in the Sr boys bathroom

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    August 20, 2016 at 8:07 pm

    So right about the mama bear! There is nothing a mother wouldn’t do to protect her cub.

    Thus guy is a pedophile and needs to be off the streets.

    • Tired Of Your Shit
      August 22, 2016 at 12:20 am

      And you need to shut the fuck up Fiesty fake asshole!

  • peanut
    August 20, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    If I was there there would’ve been two people going to jail!

  • PG
    August 20, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    If I was there, there’d be 2 people going to jail.

  • AJ
    August 20, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    Priceless. Suede cargo shorts and the Bulls cap. PLEASE tell me DCF is involved here because he has a kid.

    The only thing that would have made this story better was if one of the moms blackened his eye before his mugshot.

    Are the tax payers paying for his ghetto fabulous outfit he’s sporting? My guess this is another scumbag working the system at our expense…..

    • Abc
      September 29, 2016 at 8:48 am

      He does not habe custody of his kids

  • Turd Burglestein
    August 20, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    Nah…if I’d been there only 1 person would be going to jail….me…because he would have been going to the morgue.

    Is that a badass enough comment for ya turtleboy?

  • John Wick
    August 20, 2016 at 4:13 pm

    Why… Just whyyyyy can’t some alpha be around when that shit happens, and beat the snot outta this dope?

    Instant behavior correction.

  • whatevuh
    Dick Hertz from Holden
    August 20, 2016 at 3:39 pm

    Has DCF been notified? Something tells me he might be late for work on Monday at Don-Jo Manufacturing. Imagine the stares from the women in the office when he returns to work LMAO Priceless, fucking priceless

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