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Holyoke is a beautiful place. There’s a reason we ranked it the third most magical city in Massachusetts. From its scenic views

to its waterfront property

to its world class shopping

to its first rate satellite reception

and its potential for economic development

Holyoke is a city on the rise that hardly has any problems.

Oh wait, scratch that. Holyoke is actually the Connecticut River’s official toilet. Most of the news that comes out of Holyoke is bad news. And that certainly proved to be true yesterday when this story came out on Masslive:

Once again, that man may only be 28 years old in real life, but as you can see he is at least 56 in Holyoke years. He’s obviously accomplished a lot in life, and clearly reads a lot of books. I wonder how they ended up finding this guy? It’s not like he has any distinguishable characteristics that would make him stand out.  I’m sure lots of people in Holyoke look like Turtleboy Jr. did an Etch-a-Sketch on their face.

Anyway, as predicted the commentary was fantastic once fam and baby mommas started showing up. And generally whenever the fam and baby mommas show up to support their soljah on a Facebook thread they follow a similar pattern. First it starts with the “only God can judge” argument:

She makes a great point. In society when people commit crimes we do not try them or put them in jail. Ya know, because only God can judge, and I ain’t seen him in a hot minute!!! LOL. Just kidding. In real life juries of taxpaying citizens and judges do the legal judging and people on Facebook take care of the rest.

LOL. “Taxpaying.” Definitely.

Then someone suggested that she had ulterior motives for supporting this muffstain:

And she didn’t exactly deny that she was indeed the baby momma. She actually accused this commenter of playing what is known in Holyoke as the “baby daddy card”:

Translation – without drug money pouring in my chances of getting child support are basically gone.

Anyway, a staple of these threads is of course the “free my boi” commentary:

And apparently writing “free my boi” (also acceptable is “free my n word”) can get someone released in Massachusetts, because according to this fine upstanding citizen he has already been released from jail and is back on the streets and ready to start his fall semester at HCC:

Either that or he’s selling drugs again. Gotta get that paper dawg!!!

Anyway, Heriberto’s Facebook page is covered with inspirational quotes and commentary about politics:

He also is featured wearing the official hat of Rhodes Scholars everywhere:

The Chicago Bulls flat brimmed hat with the sticker still on it. This is how you know that your neighbor is a car carrying member of Mensa.

Heriberto only enjoys the finer things in life. Sometimes at the book clubs he is known to get together with the rest of Holyoke’s finest and sip tea and/or brandy. But if they’re all out of those things they drink the nectar of hoodrats everywhere – Hennessy and Red Bull:

He also wants to remind his followers that the only thing larger than his cash flow is his girth:

LOL. Like anyone in Holyoke knows what a condom is.

Here’s the thing Turtleboy doesn’t understand. If drug dealing is so lucrative, then why do drug dealers always live in the shittiest armpits of America? If Turtleboy was hustling and getting his grind on and making cash money like you read about, the first thing we would do is get a nice home in the burbs. Not Heriberto though. He’s Holyoke 4 life (with some brief stints in the Hampden County House of Corrections). Sure he could invest all that money and start a life for himself so that he no longer has to depend on the illegal drug trade to make ends meet. But why would he do that when he could invest that money in bling and post some cool selfies on Facebook!!!

He’s come a long way from back in the day when he was forced to wear Champion hoodies:

And of course he’s a Miami Heat fan. At least he was in 2014. Then it became ghettofabulous to be a Cavs or Warriors fan. I swear to God that’s like a rule of the hood – only root for the team with the star players. And when I say “root for” I mean never watch any games but rock the overpriced gear anyway. But the one team that hoodrats are REQUIRED to support (no matter how bad they are) is the Yankees:

Every rapper since the beginning of times wears a Yankees hat in their videos. It’s a rule.

Anyway, like his homey said, he’ll be back on the streets doing what he always does in no time. People like Heriberto aren’t the problem. Our judicial system and our leadership is the problem. And now we have a crazy borderline criminal lady running for President telling us that we need to “reform the criminal justice system” because “nonviolent” non-white offenders like Heriberto are being put in prison because we just like to lock up brown people for fun.

Newsflash – we’re not locking up too many people – we’re letting too many people back on the streets. We have to stop looking at drug dealers as nonviolent. They sell a poison to vulnerable populations that they would NEVER think about injecting in their own bodies. People are dying in record numbers!! They profit off of the misery of others. They are too cowardly to get a real job, pay taxes, and live life the right way. So instead they lurk in the shadows, destroy neighborhoods, contribute to the opiate epidemic, and generally make urban areas an eyesore. They are evil and they must be put away. If Turtleboy was President we’d institute a rule – drug dealers have to inject every ounce of heroin they get caught with during a drug bust. No one would be a drug dealer anymore. Problem solved.

So where is the leadership in Holyoke on this? Well we’ve written about Holyoke’s kid mayor Alex Morse before. He’s like Joe Petty with more exercise. He’s very good at marching in parades, especially when he gets to wear his cool Mayor sash!!

He’s also a loud and vocal proponent of needle exchange for drug addicts:

Ya got that? This guy and people like him think they’re making a difference because they’re literally handing junkies the tools they need to put heroin in their bodies. This is what social progress looks like to progressives. It’s cool though, because they’re “clean” needles. Sure, the stuff they’re going to put into those needles is literally poison that will kill them, but at least we know the needles themselves are clean.

Check out his Facebook page. It’s the same bullshit you hear from Joe Petty in Worcester and every other fraud politician out there – our streets are safe. Our city is wonderful and vibrant. Because completely ignoring the crime and filth around you is a great way to clean up your city. Notice how this guy has not said a thing about this drug bust, or any other drug busts. He doesn’t commend the police for taking these deadbeats off the streets because it’s not what him and people like him are all about.

However, one thing he is very vocal about is transgender bathrooms. As a matter of fact he literally banned Holyoke employees from traveling to North Carolina in April because they passed a law that said men have to use men’s room:

The State of North Carolina immediately got rid of their law when this happened. LOL. Just kidding. No one in NC has ever heard of nor day they give a shit about Holyoke.

This is what is wrong with social justice warrior politicians. They value the wrong things. They put their time and effort into showing the world how “inclusive” and “tolerant” they are, but they will do nothing to stop the criminal element from ruining their cities. There’s a reason that SJW’s control most major American cities, and almost all of them are rampant with crime and poverty. Because without drug dealing and poverty, they’d have a hard time getting elected.

This all comes from the top. Hillary will be elected President and she will follow the BLM narrative that prisons are bad, drug dealers are nonviolent, and getting tough on crime is racist. Then she’ll put pressure on legislators and states to provide counseling and other bullshit that doesn’t work instead of taking these pariahs away from the good people in Holyoke who actually want to go to school and get a job. If the Republicans nominated a normal candidate we might actually have a chance to reverse this tide, but instead people fell for some bullshit about Mexico paying for a wall and now we’re stuck with her. Nice going America.

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