Hoodrat Heroes

Oldest Holyoke 28 Year Old Ever With Etch A Sketch Face Tattoo Arrested For Selling Heroin, Leads To Brilliant Facebook Commentary

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Holyoke is a beautiful place. There’s a reason we ranked it the third most magical city in Massachusetts. From its scenic views


to its waterfront property



to its world class shopping


to its first rate satellite reception


and its potential for economic development


Holyoke is a city on the rise that hardly has any problems.

Oh wait, scratch that. Holyoke is actually the Connecticut River’s official toilet. Most of the news that comes out of Holyoke is bad news. And that certainly proved to be true yesterday when this story came out on Masslive:

Once again, that man may only be 28 years old in real life, but as you can see he is at least 56 in Holyoke years. He’s obviously accomplished a lot in life, and clearly reads a lot of books. I wonder how they ended up finding this guy? It’s not like he has any distinguishable characteristics that would make him stand out.  I’m sure lots of people in Holyoke look like Turtleboy Jr. did an Etch-a-Sketch on their face.

Anyway, as predicted the commentary was fantastic once fam and baby mommas started showing up. And generally whenever the fam and baby mommas show up to support their soljah on a Facebook thread they follow a similar pattern. First it starts with the “only God can judge” argument:

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She makes a great point. In society when people commit crimes we do not try them or put them in jail. Ya know, because only God can judge, and I ain’t seen him in a hot minute!!! LOL. Just kidding. In real life juries of taxpaying citizens and judges do the legal judging and people on Facebook take care of the rest.

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LOL. “Taxpaying.” Definitely.

Then someone suggested that she had ulterior motives for supporting this muffstain:

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And she didn’t exactly deny that she was indeed the baby momma. She actually accused this commenter of playing what is known in Holyoke as the “baby daddy card”:

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Translation – without drug money pouring in my chances of getting child support are basically gone.

Anyway, a staple of these threads is of course the “free my boi” commentary:

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And apparently writing “free my boi” (also acceptable is “free my n word”) can get someone released in Massachusetts, because according to this fine upstanding citizen he has already been released from jail and is back on the streets and ready to start his fall semester at HCC:

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Either that or he’s selling drugs again. Gotta get that paper dawg!!!

Anyway, Heriberto’s Facebook page is covered with inspirational quotes and commentary about politics:
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He also is featured wearing the official hat of Rhodes Scholars everywhere:

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The Chicago Bulls flat brimmed hat with the sticker still on it. This is how you know that your neighbor is a car carrying member of Mensa.

Heriberto only enjoys the finer things in life. Sometimes at the book clubs he is known to get together with the rest of Holyoke’s finest and sip tea and/or brandy. But if they’re all out of those things they drink the nectar of hoodrats everywhere – Hennessy and Red Bull:


He also wants to remind his followers that the only thing larger than his cash flow is his girth:


LOL. Like anyone in Holyoke knows what a condom is.

Here’s the thing Turtleboy doesn’t understand. If drug dealing is so lucrative, then why do drug dealers always live in the shittiest armpits of America? If Turtleboy was hustling and getting his grind on and making cash money like you read about, the first thing we would do is get a nice home in the burbs. Not Heriberto though. He’s Holyoke 4 life (with some brief stints in the Hampden County House of Corrections). Sure he could invest all that money and start a life for himself so that he no longer has to depend on the illegal drug trade to make ends meet. But why would he do that when he could invest that money in bling and post some cool selfies on Facebook!!!



He’s come a long way from back in the day when he was forced to wear Champion hoodies:


And of course he’s a Miami Heat fan. At least he was in 2014. Then it became ghettofabulous to be a Cavs or Warriors fan. I swear to God that’s like a rule of the hood – only root for the team with the star players. And when I say “root for” I mean never watch any games but rock the overpriced gear anyway. But the one team that hoodrats are REQUIRED to support (no matter how bad they are) is the Yankees:


Every rapper since the beginning of times wears a Yankees hat in their videos. It’s a rule.

Anyway, like his homey said, he’ll be back on the streets doing what he always does in no time. People like Heriberto aren’t the problem. Our judicial system and our leadership is the problem. And now we have a crazy borderline criminal lady running for President telling us that we need to “reform the criminal justice system” because “nonviolent” non-white offenders like Heriberto are being put in prison because we just like to lock up brown people for fun.

Newsflash – we’re not locking up too many people – we’re letting too many people back on the streets. We have to stop looking at drug dealers as nonviolent. They sell a poison to vulnerable populations that they would NEVER think about injecting in their own bodies. People are dying in record numbers!! They profit off of the misery of others. They are too cowardly to get a real job, pay taxes, and live life the right way. So instead they lurk in the shadows, destroy neighborhoods, contribute to the opiate epidemic, and generally make urban areas an eyesore. They are evil and they must be put away. If Turtleboy was President we’d institute a rule – drug dealers have to inject every ounce of heroin they get caught with during a drug bust. No one would be a drug dealer anymore. Problem solved.

So where is the leadership in Holyoke on this? Well we’ve written about Holyoke’s kid mayor Alex Morse beforeHe’s like Joe Petty with more exercise. He’s very good at marching in parades, especially when he gets to wear his cool Mayor sash!!

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He’s also a loud and vocal proponent of needle exchange for drug addicts:


Ya got that? This guy and people like him think they’re making a difference because they’re literally handing junkies the tools they need to put heroin in their bodies. This is what social progress looks like to progressives. It’s cool though, because they’re “clean” needles. Sure, the stuff they’re going to put into those needles is literally poison that will kill them, but at least we know the needles themselves are clean.

Check out his Facebook pageIt’s the same bullshit you hear from Joe Petty in Worcester and every other fraud politician out there – our streets are safe. Our city is wonderful and vibrant. Because completely ignoring the crime and filth around you is a great way to clean up your city. Notice how this guy has not said a thing about this drug bust, or any other drug busts. He doesn’t commend the police for taking these deadbeats off the streets because it’s not what him and people like him are all about.

However, one thing he is very vocal about is transgender bathrooms. As a matter of fact he literally banned Holyoke employees from traveling to North Carolina in April because they passed a law that said men have to use men’s room:

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The State of North Carolina immediately got rid of their law when this happened. LOL. Just kidding. No one in NC has ever heard of nor day they give a shit about Holyoke.

This is what is wrong with social justice warrior politicians. They value the wrong things. They put their time and effort into showing the world how “inclusive” and “tolerant” they are, but they will do nothing to stop the criminal element from ruining their cities. There’s a reason that SJW’s control most major American cities, and almost all of them are rampant with crime and poverty. Because without drug dealing and poverty, they’d have a hard time getting elected.

This all comes from the top. Hillary will be elected President and she will follow the BLM narrative that prisons are bad, drug dealers are nonviolent, and getting tough on crime is racist. Then she’ll put pressure on legislators and states to provide counseling and other bullshit that doesn’t work instead of taking these pariahs away from the good people in Holyoke who actually want to go to school and get a job. If the Republicans nominated a normal candidate we might actually have a chance to reverse this tide, but instead people fell for some bullshit about Mexico paying for a wall and now we’re stuck with her. Nice going America.


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34 Comment(s)
  • Joker360
    August 27, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    What about the “legal drug dealers ” who push these drugs into the offices of Doctors. Drugs that in order to function right you have to take 20 other drugs to keep your ass alive I see no one going to jail over those drugs. You see commercials on tv like “this drug will help you with this but call doctor immediately if you have any of these symptoms..stroke ,heart attack liver damage, blood clots, brain damage” ect. Like come on now. I don’t condone street drugs but i do have a question why the REAL drug dealers never get caught? All I see if the pushers going to jail. Why i dont see the ones that actually bring in these drugs before they hit the streets go to jail or get caught? Who bringing in these drugs? Ask yourselves that . Those are the people the government need to find and lock up. Half these drug “ingredients” aren’t even found in the United states. So how are they coming into the United states? The government ,you think that if they really wanted to get drugs off the streets they would of done it by now, but that’s not the case. It’s a bit profi$$$t to loose.

  • OLGA
    August 27, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    It’s funny how people assume they know someone. Adults tell kids making fun of someone is not nice. My point on this is…if the tattoo is on his face & not on yours why comment on making fun of his tattoo or complain about it. Just drop it….ME HIS BABYMAMA? Lol NO…I know him & his family for many years! I’m a happily married woman & mother. A hard working woman! Do I condone what he did with selling heroin? NO! But when it comes to making fun of him bc of a tattoo yes I’m going to say something bc as far as I’m concerned it’s NOONES business but his! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE YOU START WRITING SOMETHING THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

    • KimberlyS
      August 27, 2016 at 3:11 pm

      When you put that on your face, you’re inviting comment and judgement. If you don’t want people to judge you for your tattoos, hide them under your clothes.

    • whatevuh
      Dick Hertz from Holden
      August 28, 2016 at 6:32 am

      if this guy came into your company to interview for a job, would you hire him? Hell no

    • Makefartsgreatagain
      August 29, 2016 at 3:00 am

      Oh lord…

  • Steven Stover
    August 27, 2016 at 8:22 am

    He needs to get his case transferred up here so he can get inside tips from the probation department.

  • whatevuh
    August 27, 2016 at 6:33 am

    I’m thinking this guy tatooe’d himself completely out the job market

  • Kevin Lynch's Spyware
    August 27, 2016 at 2:09 am

    Kevin lynch, what you said is pretty racist. More phishing comes your way.

  • Reddog
    August 27, 2016 at 1:23 am

    I’m sure he probably runs shit in the flats. Best neighborhood in town.

  • Worc Taxpayer
    August 26, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    Judging from his photos I think all those bags of smack were his. I can’t blame him either, he lives in Holyoke for fucks sake. I’d be whacked out all day too if I were a Holyoker.

  • Wabbitt
    August 26, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    TB, the reason these shitburgers always live in squalor is that they’re afraid of the tax man. If they bought a big house in the burbs and a nice car, with some designer suits and the other trappings of men of their economic station – the Feds would want to know where the money was coming from. And, more importantly – why they didn’t get their cut.

    They’d rather get caught for slinging dope than for tax evasion; you get less time for it.

    So, living in a veritable Hooverville like Holyoke is just the cost of doing business.

  • SusieQ
    August 26, 2016 at 4:00 pm

    Interesting that he mucked up his face with that tattoo yet keeps his eyebrows neat as a pin 🙂

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    August 26, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Kevin, you seem to blame TB for your life stating you put your life on hold since February (when the whole shoveling snow incident happened) yet fail to ever place blame on yourself for ruining your own life. Your life was ruined when you decided to beat a man to death with a golf club. I wonder do you ever think “Shit… if only I would have stayed inside that night…If only I didn’t throw a party” you know, the normal “what ifs” of life when people second guess their decisions?

    Do you EVER wish you would have made a different choice? You seem to have no sympathy for the man you killed. You think being the superhero for gang banging minorities relieves you of your past, and it doesn’t. The only thing that does is further prove how delusional you really are. I’m actually happy you’re gay so you don’t reproduce. I can’t imagine a Kevin Lynch Jr.

    I always wondered if murderers have nightmares haunting them… I don’t think you do. I think you’re fully capable of pretending you never killed someone. That’s pure insanity.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Mirror Mirror
      August 26, 2016 at 4:48 pm

      Libs do it every day

  • Kevin Lynch
    August 26, 2016 at 1:15 pm

    I left out European wives of fire and police. These ladies have open invitation to city, state and local public teaching jobs. This has been for decades.

    • Kevin Lynch
      August 26, 2016 at 8:36 pm

      I once took a remedial reading course at Mt. Wachusett CC. That qualifies me for any job I want. Only thing is I don’t want to work. I just want my crazy check, EBT card and free phone.

    • Kevin's snow shovel
      August 29, 2016 at 9:54 am

      Are you butthurt because “European wives” are taking all the good jobs that you want? I’m confused… Aren’t you disqualified from like, every single job out there, because when a potential employer does a background check, or simple google search, they kick you out and file for a restraining order? You kooky bastard…

  • Kevin Lynch
    August 26, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    I have to state that we as a people cannot have heroin and crack dealing as the best opportunity for most inner city kids and young adults.

    I am not sticking up for anyone but the fact is that drug dealing unfortunately becomes an opportunity to survive

    The more Turtleboys on the seen the more divided we all become. Maybe we should eliminate ate all police departments and replace the system with community public safety force.

    All the Eropean white cops could find other means of work while people of color are hired for the new force. Then we could implement the same concerning fire departments. These two departments are the white men’s opportunities that have been handed to them generation afyer generation.

    So we have an almost exclusive European male police and fire watching over the rest of the country.

    Nothing has changed. Look at people like the main editor Matty Mo. He feels untouchable because his family mber is a police Chief. This is CLASSIC “WHITE PRIVILEGE”.

    • KimberlyS
      August 26, 2016 at 1:17 pm

      Will you please go get some form of an education and learn how to spell, how to use proper grammar, and, most of all, how to structure your thoughts in a way that actually that actually makes sense to normal people?

      Who am I kidding? I don’t actually read any of your stupid crap anyway.

    • Jay
      August 26, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Fire all whites and hire only non whites? That is the dumbest thing you’ve ever posted.

      • KimberlyS
        August 26, 2016 at 1:56 pm

        That’s saying a lot 🙂

    • Stu Pidazzo
      August 26, 2016 at 1:52 pm

      Nope, that’s not racist at all. All whites need to be fired from the police and fire departments?!?
      You’re so right, Kev. TB and readers are the racists.

      • Wabbitt
        August 26, 2016 at 5:38 pm

        But Kevin, you hatell all cops because they’re out to get you. So if you replace all the cops with minorities, and you hate them automatically for being cops, wouldn’t that make you a racist? Or would it not count because, by virtue of their being cops, they’d be self-hating like Mesfin Beshir?

        Just trying to follow your twisted logic. Which, is almost as twisted as that golf club after you caved in that poor guy’s head with it…

    • Kev's micro penis
      August 26, 2016 at 2:42 pm

      That sounds good, let the blacks police themselves. I think they tried that before somewhere, Detroit I think. Yeah you’re right, no crime and plenty of jobs there

    • police wife
      August 27, 2016 at 7:18 am

      Wow this was unbelievably ridiculous….

    • Pete Botha
      August 27, 2016 at 10:35 am

      I agree wholeheartedly. Separate but equal is definitely the way to go.

    • Grammar cop
      August 28, 2016 at 10:59 am

      You actually can’t spell

    • Cocomom
      September 7, 2016 at 4:10 pm

      @kevin lynch: It’s not “white privilege” it’s veteran preference but you won’t admit it, you ignore it. You’re a lost cause.
      ‘There are none so blind as those who will not see.’

  • Kevin Lynch's Spyware
    August 26, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    Waiting for the K. Lynch idiotic rant defending this criminal…because criminals defend other criminals.

  • Jay
    August 26, 2016 at 11:54 am

    Are you seriously against needle exchanges TB

    • GFY
      August 26, 2016 at 2:34 pm

      I am. If we let some of these junkies get AIDS, maybe I can knock a few minutes off my travel time to work, if there weren’t junkies mashing the crosswalk button at every intersection in the city begging for drug money.

      • Jay
        August 26, 2016 at 3:14 pm

        Do you think their AIDS treatments and the treatments they’ll need for infections they get from dirty needles is going to be paid for by the junkies, or by you the tax payer?

        And the unfortunate thing about AIDS is that it spreads, and a lot of addicts hide that they’re addicted. They could end up spreading it to people who don’t know the charming guy they met is a heroin addict.

  • KimberlyS
    August 26, 2016 at 11:46 am

    There have been almost 80 heroin ODs in my local area in the past 3 days due to dealers cutting their batch with Carfentanil, which is some kind of super-powerful opioid made for elephants. EMTs, Fire Departments, and police are all getting called out on OD runs, using more and more Narcan, and are unable to respond to other emergencies in the area.

    Dealers need to go down hard and for a loooong time. Non-violent, my ass.

    And what the hell was the thinking about this face tattoo, anyway? “I want to look like a rotting zombie forever!”

    • who put the gun to my head to shoot up?
      August 26, 2016 at 12:51 pm

      13 ODs in Leominster in one night a couple weeks ago. Didnt see it in the news. An ER nurse told me this.

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