All-Star Criminals

Oscar De La Goya Punches Tupac Shapoor Who Is Holding A Gun, Immediately Gets Shot In Broad Daylight, No One Seems To Care

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Tom Duggan from the Valley Patriot is a savage in the journalism world. He’s what Kevin Cullen pretends to be. The guy literally is on the streets of Lawrence and other such dumps all the time, going on Facebook Live, looking for the real stories. And his newspaper, The Valley Patriot, literally caught a guy getting shot on camera this afternoon. We’d link the video from his Facebook page but, 1) it’s only a matter of time until Facebook pulls it, and 2) Everything on our Facebook page is now in Spanish, we don’t know how to change it, and we don’t know which of these words mean “embed video”:

So here’s the video:

The best part is how no one helps the victim and everyone just kind of goes about their business like nothing happened. Because…..Lawrence.

When someone first sent us this video the first question I had was, “what country is this?” I didn’t hear anyone speaking a lick of English. There’s a sign that says “Ria Mexico.” I figured it was some dime a dozen Tijuana street beef.

Turns out it’s just good ol’ Lawrence. Where dreams go to die. Shocking that neither of these upstading gentleman was at work at noon on a Tuesday. They must work nights and weekends. Definitely.

The hoodrat hodown starts innocently enough with some hugs and gentle petting:

Not sure what the beef was over. Probably had something to do with the Iran deal that’s been in the news. You bring up uranium and all bets are off.

But things took a turn for the Lawrence once they got up and Tupac Shapoor produced a firearm, which I’m sure was legally purchased and registered:

Now, generally when your opponent is holding a gun it’s best to just swallow your pride and take the L.

But this Lawrence. So naturally Oscar de la Goya got up and elected to punch the man holding a gun directly in the face:

And when you do that in Lawrence you get shot:

That’s just science. Those are the rules. I don’t write them, but you have to respect them when you’re in Lawrence.

The lesson here is, never, ever go to Lawrence. Unless you’re looking for cheap heroin. Then make sure you come during the day and don’t have New Hampshire license plates.

27 Comment(s)
  • bigdaddy
    Joe Curtatone
    May 9, 2018 at 1:09 pm

    At least Somerville isn’t Lawrence -yet but I am working on it

  • 54-46 Was My Number
    May 9, 2018 at 9:43 am

    Great synergy with a story in today’s Herald about how former mill cities are not feeling the effects of an improving economy; non-white people most hurt, with the implication it’s rich whitey’s fault.

    Liz Warren will not be able to be reached for comment, folks.

    • bigdaddy
      Liz Warren
      May 9, 2018 at 9:52 am

      After viewing this video I have determined that this is Trumps fault. We need more immigrants like this

    • Ed Markey
      May 9, 2018 at 10:01 am

      Right again, Senator Warren. I’m going out on an errand. Can I pick up your dry cleaning for you? Wash your Prius? Groom your dog? Get you some groceries? How about a nice Fresca while you wait? May I fan your brow with this palm leaf.

      • Maaaaaaahkey
        May 9, 2018 at 10:12 am

        How ya gonna do that? I live in Maryland Liawatha.

  • LSD
    May 9, 2018 at 8:24 am

    DO NOT I repeat DO NOT go into Lawrence Ma. at all not even during the day!!!!!!!!!!! How many times has there been gunfire during the day? How many Hispanic males do you see hanging around the street and sitting on porches? They do not work!!!!!! They are loud!!!!! They throw their trash where they stand! They are moving to Haverhill!!!!!!!!! Where I live in Haverhill you can’t go into a bank, a store, a Doctors office, or hell go out onto your front porch with out hearing very loud speaking hispanic people!!!! The Chief of police is talking about the gang problem, gee Latin Kings, Bloods, Crips, etc. What do these pieces of shit have in common? By the way do we know how many hispanics are flooding into the country & turning it into a third world country? I say we go the way of the Andover police Dept. post cop cars on the border of Lawrence to prevent these animals from entering.

    • deflateddoritodinks
      May 9, 2018 at 9:25 am

      On some TV news coverage they were interviewing people on the sidewalk in Lawrence , and all they said was it was very dangerous. Been that way since the 70’s? Is Lantigua even an American citizen? LOL!

    • Mayor of Bradford
      May 9, 2018 at 9:45 am

      South Elm Street in Bradford is becoming rather interesting…

  • Sloppy
    May 9, 2018 at 8:15 am

    Looks like a lot of people had the day off from work in Lawrence yesterday.
    It sure was a nice day for it!

  • El Junto de Turismo de Lawrence
    May 8, 2018 at 11:01 pm

    iBienvenidos a Lawrence! Please no hold up you childrens to block bulletses. America no like that. Also, if you baby fall out the window when you leave opens, please come pick up you child. Ahora aceptamos EBT at Desy Nails Salon and Mata Gringo liquor store. iMuchas Gracias!

    • Pixie
      May 8, 2018 at 11:14 pm

      Outstanding. LOL! “Mata Gringo Liquor Store”. Bwahahahaha!

    • lugo
      May 8, 2018 at 11:18 pm

      kill white guy liqor store wtf smh

  • Baldo Coochino
    May 8, 2018 at 9:39 pm

    These are definitely Trump supporters. I’ll bet the triggerman is a card carrying member of the NRA!

    • Honkey Kong
      May 8, 2018 at 10:34 pm

      Absolutely no question. Democrats will keep importing people just like this, and they want Trump to build a wall to keep them in America. This is how we all smile and work together. You stupid fucking cunt.

    • pro trump
      May 8, 2018 at 10:41 pm

      as a trump supporter, let me say loudly and clearly: we don’t want niggers and we don’t want spics on our side. we want them dead or out of the country.

  • Ray Patriarca
    Democrats lie
    May 8, 2018 at 9:09 pm

    Fucking savages. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boy’s and girls……this is the new, progressive America ! Brought to you by the Democrat Party. The party of inclusion. The party of tolerance. The party of rainbows and unicorns farts.
    These are the savages that the Democrats pander to. Why? Because they have lost the support of their old base…. older, hardworking, taxpaying Americans. Yes, I was once a registered Democrat. Then , I woke the fuck up.
    People like me are tired of financially supporting slugrakes like this. Hence, I wouldn’t vote for a Democrat for County Dog Catcher.
    You reap what you sow. Keep voting the almighty (D)!!!

  • Pussy
    May 8, 2018 at 8:40 pm

    Typical tough black guy…..can never fight with their hands like real men…..unless there are 10 against one

  • suckittrebek
    May 8, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    Massachusetts the next shit-hole everyone but losers moves away from.

  • Liz Warren
    May 8, 2018 at 8:01 pm

    This is why you nice boys in the ‘burbs have to turn over your expensive legally purchased firearms ASAP. We don’t need more thugs with $50 Taurus .22 pieces of shit coming here illegally and shooting each other. We do need their votes, though.

    • Marianne
      May 9, 2018 at 5:39 am

      So, I’m a loser because I live in Lawrence. Where do you live?

      • Bret
        May 9, 2018 at 6:43 am

        No, you’re a loser because you got pussyhurt over a blog shitclit… fuck right the fuck off cunt

  • Eugene
    May 8, 2018 at 7:53 pm

    Like it said in the article.I didn’t hear any English spoken.Third world cesspool,just the way Democrats like it.

  • TJB
    May 8, 2018 at 7:45 pm

    Look at that flat brim had standing up like it was made of steel. Any guess on what the logo says?…..

    • Keir Darcey
      May 8, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      I don’t know what logo it had, but my first reaction was, “!Dios mio! Su !Sombrero!”

  • Bob
    May 8, 2018 at 7:44 pm

    No doubt that is an LTC holder with a legally purchased firearm that is on the state’s approved firearms list. Because gun laws which ban high capacity magazines, collapsible stocks, and all the rest are effective and keep guns out of the hands of criminals. Also Massachusetts is a state where judges enforce send people who break the law to jail and actual law breakers serve prison time.

  • pro trump
    May 8, 2018 at 7:43 pm

    hope they both die. two less ppl on food stamps.

  • Benjamin Wallens
    May 8, 2018 at 7:25 pm

    It took ballz to film dat shitz nigga. Don’t care whut dey say

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