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Tom Duggan from the Valley Patriot is a savage in the journalism world. He’s what Kevin Cullen pretends to be. The guy literally is on the streets of Lawrence and other such dumps all the time, going on Facebook Live, looking for the real stories. And his newspaper, The Valley Patriot, literally caught a guy getting shot on camera this afternoon. We’d link the video from his Facebook page but, 1) it’s only a matter of time until Facebook pulls it, and 2) Everything on our Facebook page is now in Spanish, we don’t know how to change it, and we don’t know which of these words mean “embed video”:
So here’s the video:
The best part is how no one helps the victim and everyone just kind of goes about their business like nothing happened. Because…..Lawrence.
When someone first sent us this video the first question I had was, “what country is this?” I didn’t hear anyone speaking a lick of English. There’s a sign that says “Ria Mexico.” I figured it was some dime a dozen Tijuana street beef.
Turns out it’s just good ol’ Lawrence. Where dreams go to die. Shocking that neither of these upstading gentleman was at work at noon on a Tuesday. They must work nights and weekends. Definitely.
The hoodrat hodown starts innocently enough with some hugs and gentle petting:
Not sure what the beef was over. Probably had something to do with the Iran deal that’s been in the news. You bring up uranium and all bets are off.
But things took a turn for the Lawrence once they got up and Tupac Shapoor produced a firearm, which I’m sure was legally purchased and registered:
Now, generally when your opponent is holding a gun it’s best to just swallow your pride and take the L.
But this Lawrence. So naturally Oscar de la Goya got up and elected to punch the man holding a gun directly in the face:
And when you do that in Lawrence you get shot:
That’s just science. Those are the rules. I don’t write them, but you have to respect them when you’re in Lawrence.
The lesson here is, never, ever go to Lawrence. Unless you’re looking for cheap heroin. Then make sure you come during the day and don’t have New Hampshire license plates.