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Hartford Courant: Hartford man due in court to answer a charge of stealing a car apparently stole a car to get to court, police said. Jonathan Rivera, 25, was at Superior Court in Hartford on Wednesday to answer a charge of first-degree larceny and tampering with a motor vehicle involving the theft of a car in Hartford on Feb. 17. As he waited to appear before a judge, Hartford Parking Authority agents scanning license plates for parking violators got a hit on a white 2014 Subaru Legacy parked near the courthouse. The license plates had been reported stolen and the car itself had been stolen from Newington because a key fob was left in it, police said. Police kept an eye on the car, and when Rivera left court, got in and tried to drive away, they moved in and arrested him. He was charged with second-degree larceny and taking a motor vehicle without the owner’s permission.
Gotta give it to him – the man is passionate about his line of work.
Here’s my question – what punishment is harsher – skipping court on charges of motor vehicle larceny, or committing motor vehicle larceny a second time? If it’s the former then you could actually make the case that this was the smarter thing to do.
Of course what really happened is that this assbag spent his last $20 getting his hair lined up so he could be fresh to death for court, and thus he couldn’t afford an Uber. Then he was like, “Oh snap, it’s that time of the month – court day. I gotta be there in 20 minutes. Let me just borrow this car real quick. No one will ever think I’m dumb enough to drive a stolen car to court to face charges for stealing a car.”
Guess who his favorite sportball team is?
Do we even have to ask that question anymore? Minus 10 hoodrat points for curving that brim and taking the sticker off though.
When Jonathan isn’t out stealing cars to go to court to answer for his crime of stealing cars, you can find him taking glamorous bathroom selfies
As you can see he has shampoo AND conditioner. He doesn’t have to cheap out with that 2 in 1 stuff. Baller status achieved!
Oh, and that phone holster:
Eat your heart out 1998!!
He’s also reproduced (obviously) and really wants to be reunited with his child:
Hey, here’s an idea – stop stealing cars. Might help with the custody situation. Just sayin.
Oh, and if you’re gonna do Facebook Live videos at work, try not to smoke blunts DURING the video.
Maybe just before or after.
Oh, and if you really want your daughter back, maybe don’t pose for pictures with flat brimmed chudstuffers tossing out gang signs.
The comment from Sky Eliza Corrinne is just too priceless. His friend appears to be throwing up “the shocker.” Naturally she decided this would be a good time to say, “brings me back to old times.” I’m sure it does Sky. I’m sure it does.
The bottom line is that if you know you’re due in court to face charges on motor vehicle larceny, make sure you put it in your calendar and arrange transportation ahead of time. Ya know, something legal that doesn’t involve stealing another car. Might help.