All-Star Criminals

Pajama Clad Mom-Daughter Junkies Try Running Over Cops In West Springfield Dunkin Donuts, Lead Cops On Chase To Holyoke Mall, Go Home That Day

Pajama Clad Mom-Daughter Junkies Try Running Over Cops In West Springfield Dunkin Donuts, Lead Cops On Chase To Holyoke Mall, Go Home That Day

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Here’s some All-Star parenting out of West Springfield: A West Springfield woman and her adult daughter are facing heroin charges following a wild police chase that left a third family member with minor injuries. Joan Cortis, 42, and Amanda Cortis, 21, of Westfield, pleaded not guilty in Springfield District Court to heroin possession following their arrest Jan. 2 in a parking lot at the Holyoke Mall. Seven other charges, including assault and battery with a motor vehicle, were filed against Joan Cortis, the alleged driver during the chase. She was also charged with reckless endangerment of a child because her 12-year-old daughter was riding in the front passenger seat during the chase, police said.

The trouble began when Joan Cortis allegedly tried to run down two West Springfield police detectives who approached her car in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot on Riverdale Street. One detective ended up on the trunk of the Ford Taurus and the other, after dodging the vehicle, fired a shot at its front tire, according to the arrest report. As the car turned to leave the parking lot, a detective struck the front passenger side window with his fist, breaking the glass, the report said.

Heading west on Highland Avenue, the car crossed into Holyoke on Whitney Avenue. By then, Holyoke police had joined the chase, which crossed through several parking lots before ending on the south side of the Holyoke Mall.The two adult passengers were taken into custody and packets of heroin with an “Amen” logo were seized from the vehicle, along with one bag of cocaine. The 12-year-old was was taken to Baystate Medical Center for treatment of minor facial cuts from flying glass.

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No ratchet high speed chase would be complete if it didn’t finish at the Holyoke Mall. West Springfield is a quiet town. It’s pretty nice there. Now all of a sudden this family moves in and the cops are shooting at tires in the Dunkin Donuts in broad daylight with a 12 year old riding shotgun. Here’s the best part:

Joan Cortis, who appeared to be wearing cat pajamas during her arraignment, was ordered held on $5,000 bail. 

Because…OF COURSE she wore cat pajamas to her arraignment. Did you think she was gonna be bothered to throw on her dress sweatpants? This isn’t Easter Sunday!! The best part was when we looked up these two clamtramps on Facebook and found this picture of the daughter at Wal-Mart:

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Ahh yes, the fancy Batman pajamas. Must’ve been dress up Thursday. This is just your daily reminder that under no circumstances is it every socially acceptable to wear pajamas out in public. Women who do this are the male equivalents of guys with flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats.

Naturally Amanda Cortis is already a mother at the age of 21. Because, why wouldn’t she be? After all, she’s got a boyfriend with a flat-brimmed hat:

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What could possibly go wrong?

And this basically sums up everything that is wrong with our court system:

“Amanda Cortis was released on personal recognizance. Both have cases pending in area courts, and Amanda Cortis has been arrested three times in recent months, a prosecutor said.”

Wait…..what? She’s been arrested three times in the last few months, she has cases pending against her in court, and she was just arrested for drug possession after trying to run over a cop, forcing them to shoot in a parking lot in broad daylight, and then leading the cops on a chase into Holyoke. And she just gets to walk out of court? Same time next week. LOL. This state is a joke, and people like her know it. That’s why they don’t bother reforming. No point.

As a matter of fact just yesterday Amanda was already tagging her best friend Mom on Facebook posts:

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And sharing inspirational quotes:

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Because lots of people are inspired by junkie welfare Moms who try to kill cops.

Of course the real crime here is that just a couple years ago Mom was rocking this haircut:

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Holy bang bus!! Look at those things. It looks like her face is being eaten by a tarantula. Personally I prefer the, “I just got out of rehab and I swear I’m gonna stay clean this time” look:

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Anyway, hopefully one of these years judges in this state actually come to their senses and keep dangerous criminals behind bars. Because these two lugnuts easily could’ve killed a cop. Then again, seeing how judges like Andrew Mandell kept Jorge Zambrano out of jail time and time again, maybe dead cops is exactly what they want .


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22 Comment(s)
  • KarmaKarma
    February 1, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    Some of your information is wrong, unfortunately I know the family so let me clarify. The daughter is not a mother. She has an older brother who has a wife and a baby. There’s four children all together with the youngest two being 12, obviously the one that was in the vehicle with them, and one that is about 10. Mommy Dearest has been drug addict since she was about 14, she likes to dabble in a little bit of everything. They are the epitome of white trash. Also, they do not live in West Springfield, they live in Westfield and have their entire lives. Husband owns his own business, a hardwood floor installing and refinishing business. Sadly for him I would imagine people will stop using him when they catch up to all this. However, knowing him, I’m almost positive that the cocaine they found on them was for him. Oh and also, mommy and daughter were both arrested at one of the Westfield Big Y’s together in September for shoplifting. The whole family is screwed up. The only normal one so to speak seems to be the oldest child. Those youngest two are just innocent little kids and deserve a better life than parents and siblings that are drug addicts.

  • Unknown
    February 1, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    This woman a disgusting creatures i live next to them and had to move there little kids stole from my 6 yr old and wrote me a letter how they would rape my son disturbing i know i hope they rot in hell

  • Dumbass
    January 31, 2017 at 12:48 pm

    Hmmmm doesn’t everyone know that a DD is just like a PD?

  • Sarah Joanna
    January 31, 2017 at 10:41 am

    That sucks for the 12 year old who got glass sprayed in her face by a detective punching out her window.

  • Tyler
    January 30, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    I am positive i have a picture of that girl naked on one of my old phones

    • Dumbass
      January 31, 2017 at 5:22 pm

      Please share with us. I’d bet you might even have a pic of both trap hoes.

  • ImNewHere
    January 30, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    Being a man this is in no way my area of expertise, but from the two pictures it appears to me that the bangs she was rocking a few years ago were never even cut. She simply bleached the hell out of them and let them grow into those weird little front handlebars she has to tuck behind her ears constantly while blowing her dope dealer.

  • Turd Burglestein
    January 30, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    I bet the cat pajamas were Hello Kitty.

  • Rutland Rider
    January 30, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    That is EXACTLY what’s wrong with our system. Let out on bail for attempted murder of a police officer and heroin possession. Stanky clamwich bitches.

  • paul
    January 30, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Cops shooting at cars in the DD parking lot, not smart.

    • Kerri Bishop
      January 31, 2017 at 3:39 pm

      Seriously? She ran over an officer, where he rolled onto the trunk of her car. This wasn’t like she tapped him with a mirror or ran over his foot. She slammed him off of his feet. And he shot her tire. In what lifetime are the police not smart for attempting to disable her vehicle with the only means they have at their disposal? The likelihood of a ricochet or him missing the tire completely and hitting a civilian is by far less than the likelihood this bitch would kill someone on her strung out “worlds dumbest criminals” style police chase.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    January 30, 2017 at 4:36 pm

    They entered a PLEA of not guilty. Not pleaded. I do not understand this word. Every friggin time i readed it it annoys me. It makes no sense and it is writed incorrectly every stupid time.

    • KimberlyS
      January 31, 2017 at 11:38 am

      “Pleaded” or “pled” are both correct.

      I find it amusing that you grammar-nazied, and then typed “writed incorrectly”.

      past tense: pleaded; past participle: pleaded

      1. make an emotional appeal.
      “they pleaded with Carol to come home again”
      synonyms: beg, implore, entreat, appeal to, supplicate, importune, petition, request, ask, call on; literary:beseech
      “he pleaded with her to stay”

      2. present and argue for (a position), especially in court or in another public context.
      “using cheap melodrama to plead the case for three prisoners”
      synonyms: claim, use as an excuse, assert, allege, argue, state
      “she pleaded ignorance”

  • Country Life
    January 30, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    Just to be clear West Springfield is not nice it’s the ghetto

    • GoodLuckWestSide
      January 30, 2017 at 6:47 pm

      I moved out of there just in time. Saw the town decline rapidly. It is turning into its neighbors, Holyoke and Springfield. Too bad because it was a nice place to live 8-10 years ago. TB should investigate all the crime that gets swept under the rug there. West Side PD is known to keep a lot of criminal activity out of the news and hidden from the residents.

  • Rk
    January 30, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    Fix your website you twat

  • Lightning bug
    January 30, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    Just another day in the Yoke.

  • LincolnTf
    January 30, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    “Hey, Amanda, you feel like Dunkin’ Donuts?”
    “Sure, Mom! I love their coffee, and I think we’re running out of heroin, maybe we could do both?”
    “Okay, sweetie. I’m going to call Joey and tell him we need some skag to get through the day. Should I tell him you’ll be blowing him, or is it my turn?”
    ” Mom! You know I hate blowing Joey when I’m strung out, he gets all emotional and shit.”
    “Okay, fine, I’ll blow Joey, but you have to watch. We get 10% off when you watch.”
    “Of course I’ll watch. Mom, I know EBT cards don’t grow on trees.”
    “That’s a good girl. And remember, if we see a cop, what do we do?”
    “We run ’em over and head to the Mall !!!!”
    “That’s right, my little cruller-junkie, that’s exactly right. We run ’em over and head to the Mall.”

    • Joey
      January 30, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      You been spying on me?

      It’s not that I get emotional, it’s that Amanda is WAY toothy… She’s got this snaggle-tooth thing going on that catches the rim of my helmet… It’s ALMOST not worth it. Joan is much more experienced and what she lacks in hotness, she more than makes up for in technique.

  • Sexual Chocolate
    January 30, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    Mother daughter threesome?

    • The Poop Hole Loop Hole
      January 30, 2017 at 5:44 pm


    • Edward Lyle
      WB Rider
      January 30, 2017 at 5:50 pm

      Mother daughter threesome. I think that’s called a Sportsmen’s Double.

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