Smiles And Sunshine

Ratchet Madness Finals: Ratchet Who Drove Husband To Suicide Vs. Ratchet Who Threatens To Kill 5 Year Old Kids


All the votes have been counted in our two Final 4 matchups of Turtleboy 2020 Ratchet Madness, and we just had the closest matchup of the entire tournament. Here’s who our two finalists will be.

A dominating performance by Nicki Evans in the Final 4 along with the nailbiter and first real challenge to Lorrayna Calle sets up a Ratchet Madness Championship that will go down in history. At this point Vegas considers Nicki Evans a slight favorite.

But it’s up to the people to decide. You have until Saturday to vote. Ratchet Madness Champion will be crowned on the live show on Saturday night at 9 PM. Subscribe to our YouTube channel here. To read their ratchet resumes click here.



1. Lorrayna Calle


3. Nikki Evans



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41 Comment(s)
  • Poetic Justice
    May 1, 2020 at 8:55 am

    Here’s the thing for those saying to vote for Lorrayna, she is already being served in the judicial system, she is getting punished. Nicki got away scott free with Pat’s death. She should win this

  • T.R.
    May 1, 2020 at 1:12 am

    I predict Nikki will come out on top.
    They’re both monsters in their own right and it makes me feel a little bad that I’d consider sending either one of their stink stars into a supernova condition.
    Maybe this C-19 will drown one or both in their own thickening phlegm.

  • Giant Douche vs A Turd Sandwich
    April 30, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    Such tough choices

  • All The Way NICKI!!!!
    April 30, 2020 at 5:24 pm

    Nicki all the way!!! DO you think she’ll give an acceptance speech on the live show?!?!?! I can hardly wait!

  • Nicki's new address is MCI Framingham
    April 30, 2020 at 4:04 pm

    Pat was murdered by Nicki. Point blank. Let’s not sugar coat it. Who leaves their husband in a house full of guns with the kids and pulls down the street. No way did that happen. The cop that responded was his high school best friend, she was there and Pat told the cop ” I want this slampig to see me do it” and shot himself in the back yard towards the wood line.

  • Michael Collings
    April 30, 2020 at 3:13 pm

    Suicide? He was murdered

    first responders were
    co-workers /ex friends /sexual partners and whale watchers

    I have called the state police twice with post investigation evidence. They know something.

    • If you know, you know
      April 30, 2020 at 3:17 pm

      Can you contact me? I have further screenshots that may help

  • Peter O'Leary
    April 30, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    So glad Nikki is in the finals. She is trash! So glad ” the one we won’t speak of isn’t”

    • Peter O'Leary
      April 30, 2020 at 2:50 pm

      Damit, yes I didn’t proof read.

  • Nicki Fucked Chris Lowell
    April 30, 2020 at 2:17 pm

    The boy may not be Pat’s son. She was slammin Chris Lowell , a toothless call firefighter from hopedale when she got knocked up. Chris has a history of abandoning children..

  • The History of Nichole Crossman Calitri Evans
    April 30, 2020 at 2:03 pm

    Nicki was married to Steve, after years of abusing him and purposely getting knocked up with Madison to keep him around.

    Nicki slept with Steve’s Brother Adam, Steve’s sister Sara’s husband Andy. Nicki slept with Steve’s best friend Scottie. Nicki slept with all his friends, joe, roger, Justin, scottie some more, who mind you was dating her friend at the time. One night when Steve was away she fucked this random kid for an eight ball and broke the bed and put it through the wall she was so large and in charge.

    Nicki then prowled on Pat because he was hard working and successful and got knocked up with Ashlynn while still married to Steve three weeks into cheating on him with Pat.

    Don’t be like Nicki, don’t be a skuzzy cum guzzling hurricane grundle snatchmaggot cunt

    • Karen of Karen's
      May 1, 2020 at 10:54 am

      I hate to break it to you but I don’t think they were “sleeping”.

  • Simon Ramsay
    April 30, 2020 at 1:55 pm

    Hi everyone!!!

  • Worcester Kid
    April 30, 2020 at 1:50 pm

    Gotta love the balls of Uncle , he’s got Kojak , Stavros and the Albanians after him and he calmly finish’s arguably the best Ratchet madness to date . I loved the video of Unc stalking the halls of the T&G looking for Jive Clive ( who is a former US Army solider ) seriously the man has balls ! Nikki is an evil bitch that’s for sure ! I wonder how this fame has affected her ? Is this enough for her to pack up and move ? She is totally ratchet that’s for certain , but you wonder how far she would go ? Murder ? Rob a bank ? She’s a wild bitch for sure ! Send her a box of rose on me if she wins !

    • Nicki is Trapped
      April 30, 2020 at 3:19 pm

      She cant move she has 50/50 custody with Madison’s father. She is stuck here unless she gives up custody . Nothing has changed she has had two boyfriends since his death and has fucked mad dudes in the area… the milford area is a swamp they don’t care what it is as long as it resembles pussy

  • Karen of Karens
    April 30, 2020 at 12:54 pm

    On the heels of Ratchet Madness…

    I propose that TB creates the Inaugural Karen Madness. There has to be 64 Karen’s out there to fill the field at this point. You could easily include Social Justice Warriors since – you know – they all hang out together……

  • Wuhan China
    April 30, 2020 at 12:47 pm

    We wouldn’t even sell Nikki a dead bat soup she is so gross.

  • Nikki's pussy oozes green pus
    April 30, 2020 at 12:41 pm

    Why wont the kung flu take out Nikki as revenge to Pat’s death?!

    Everybody was kung flu fightin’ They were fast as lightenin’ Everybody got a ride on the Nicki express na na na she was the town bus do do do do


    • Caravaggio's Used Condom
      April 30, 2020 at 12:52 pm

      Someone this promiscuous likely has contracted something nasty. Gross.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      April 30, 2020 at 1:02 pm

      “She’s like a doorknob, everyone has their turn”

      She’s part bob cat. She’s bobbed on every cat in town

      OK. I’m done for now

  • Ron Jeremy's Son
    April 30, 2020 at 12:33 pm

    This was the best Ratchet Madness yet. I’m going with Nikki because she laughed as her husband offed himself. That’s hard to beat.

    Honorable mentions go to busty GILF Heidi Robeson and super tighty Jessica DePatie. Both completely messed up and each worth a night in the hay (using a fake name). I expect both of them to appear on these blogs long before next year’s tournament. Either could take it next year.

  • hartf811
    Father Dimmock
    April 30, 2020 at 12:15 pm

    Bummed. Both are toxic sewers of seething ratchetness. But HTTG is a story begging for an update.
    I want the video of her gangbanging everybody with a 420 bill at the Encore room she was grifting off a john. 10 dicks in the room and nobody had a camera when they are on their camera phones all day (as they don’t work)? I doubt it. Somebody has a file of this slut gobbling goo all over room. I’d hoped if she won we would see it.
    If anybody has the link……. just saying.

  • ElJefe72
    April 30, 2020 at 11:53 am

    I’m really disappointed that Kylie didn’t make it to the final two (and win). Let’s be honest, she took ratchetness to a national level. All of the other contestants are just New England regional ratchets.

  • Dr Fauci
    April 30, 2020 at 11:36 am

    Break some real news turtleboy.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Landon Steele
    April 30, 2020 at 11:23 am

    I should’ve won

    • Turtz McGurtz
      April 30, 2020 at 11:39 am

      If you banged Leigha, you’ve already won.

    • Congratulations Landon
      April 30, 2020 at 1:22 pm

      Well, you can just tell everyone that you won.

      I mean, it’s not like the truth ever stopped you before.

  • randiguy2006
    April 30, 2020 at 11:06 am

    “Drove Husband To Suicide ”

    He ever heard of divorce?

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      April 30, 2020 at 1:04 pm

      Yeah blame him. Everyone talked about how much he loved her.

      Not her fault according to you.

      Go drink some fish tank cleaner

  • Who Flung Cum
    April 30, 2020 at 10:52 am

    Such a good field, only clouded by 3. It was a shame they made it as far as they did, but the people did the right thing and made the most epic final in Ratchet History! I mean it’s Lorrayna for sure, but Nikki gave her one hell of a fight. This will be a buzzer beater, but Lorrayna can take this trophy right to court this Summer to help extend her probation!

  • Turtz McGurtz
    April 30, 2020 at 10:50 am

    Pouring out some Hennessy for Kylie….. You had a great run girl. Failure Swift too.

    It’s down to a couple of vile creatures. Seems like Nikki has really struck a nerve with the voters. But when you boil it down she’s just a basic bitch garden variety whore. Lorrayna on the other hand is a true sociopath. Neither of them were my original choice but i gotta go with Lorrayna.

    Participation trophies for all!

    April 30, 2020 at 10:40 am


    • DudeRanchStripClub
      April 30, 2020 at 11:19 am

      Don’t tell me how to vote.

  • Showing up at my daughter’s piano recital drunk as a skunk high as shit and causing a scene throwing chairs and stuff to own the libs
    April 30, 2020 at 10:10 am

    Surprised more tattoo parlors don’t offer a free ankle monitor when you get a neck tattoo. Would save a lot of money and effort at the county DA office.

  • Welcome to Venezuela
    April 30, 2020 at 10:10 am

    The number of initial claims in the state dropped to 70,714 for the week ending April 25. That’s down from 80,969 initial claims during the prior week, but a staggering 722,171 claims have been filed in just six weeks.

    The corona virus was just the excuse to destroy capitalism and create chaos. Where does the money come from to pay almost a million people out of work in 6 weeks just in Mass? Welcome to Venezuela

    • Bucky
      April 30, 2020 at 10:37 am

      You probably don’t want to moogle EP3172319B1. The patent award date is oddly timed.

      The good news is that there is a cure coming, the bad news is that is comes with a hefty price tag and an RFID chip. Just need to stack up those body counts first to drive demand.

      *adjusts tinfoil hat*

      • dowen0895
        Dick Scratcher
        April 30, 2020 at 12:46 pm


        RFID chip!!!!! And vaccines are made of mercury and foetuses. And passenger jets spray us all with chemicals. 🙂

        Fucking hell!

        • God save the Queen and all that rot
          May 1, 2020 at 1:00 am

          Dink Scrubber, the technology already exists to go nano.
          It’s not crazy to acknowledge that Bill Gates has the lock on certain virus AND vaccine patents along with being involved with research and implementation of the traceable and trackable technology.
          Google is your friend, even in that dentally and mentally challenged empire you call home.

  • Ratchetsaurous Rex
    April 30, 2020 at 9:57 am

    The suspense….

  • Spic Tormentor
    April 30, 2020 at 9:54 am

    Let’s get Lorrayna to the ratchet hall of fame. Send this bitch on an aèropostal shopping spree to celebrate.

    • Problems with a Aeropostale order
      April 30, 2020 at 2:17 pm

      how dare you

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