Hoodrat Heroes

Ratchet Mom Of Racist Patriots Parade Fight Chick From Weymouth Ripped Into Desk Girl & SSTG For Causing Imaginary Suicide Leading To Imaginary Arrest For Violating Imaginary Laws

Ratchet Mom Of Racist Patriots Parade Fight Chick From Weymouth Ripped Into Desk Girl & SSTG For Causing Imaginary Suicide Leading To Imaginary Arrest For Violating Imaginary Laws

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Yesterday we published this blog about one of the ratchets involved in a fight that took place on a staircase at the Patriots’ Championship parade, right in front of horrified families with small children. The only person we were able to identify was 21 year old Samantha Tartaglione of Weymouth.

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She’s the one who pulled the blonde ratchet down by the hair, only to get cold clocked and fishhooked by this woman beating bag of dicks with the gloves:

We simply pointed out how no chick deserves to be hit like this, but at the same time we hardly feel bad for a gutterslug acting like a gutterslug in public, especially when they’ve publicly posted stuff like this on Facebook before:

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Anyway, it wouldn’t be a ratchet story if someone in the fam didn’t reach out with tall tales of Internet lawsuits and imaginary laws we violated. In this case it was Samantha’s mother Jeanie Mahon Mayhem.


Holy hair day!!!



You might recognize her from that one time she saved France from the terrorists.


And she was NOT happy about the post about her daughter:

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We’ve seen a lot of people try to defend the sausage queens we’ve profiled on Turtleboy before. But I can’t seem to remember anyone using the “she graduated top of her night school class” defense before. That’s a good one.

Anyway, bunch of people have access to the Facebook page so it’s really a matter of who wants to communicate with the muff patrol when we get daily messages like this. In today’s case it appears to be South Shore Turtlegirl who stepped up and took one for the team…..

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Momma Ratchet apparently didn’t care for this too much and decided to do a little Googling. She was quite proud of herself when she came across a VERY legitimate site called “Turtleboy Sporks,” which led her to the same conclusion that many morons before her have also reached – she knows who Turtleboy is. SSTG was like, “Why doesn’t anyone think I’m real?”

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Then Ratchet Momma started lecturing Turtleboy about bullying. Because this is what you should do when your flesh and blood embarrasses the family by posting blatantly racist things on social media and getting into a fight in broad daylight in the middle of Boston:

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Yea SSTG, didn’t anyone ever teach you in your “educational degree” that just because you tell black people you’re gonna “own” them, and you post pictures of black people hanging from trees, it doesn’t mean you’re a racist. That’s like, educational degree 101.

And can I say how much I love when people play the “you’re gonna force the person you just shamed to commit suicide.” Newsflash – we posted screenshots and videos of her public displays of debauchery. We did not seek her out and bully her. A video of her came across our Facebook page and we blogged about it. She sought public attention and she received it. She even commented on the original video to let the world know it was her:

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Here’s an idea Mom. Instead of blaming Turtleboy for simple taking real things she did and posting them on our blog, perhaps you could point the finger at the two people who are most to blame here – you and her. She’s a 21 year old woman who obviously is all too familiar with being a public slobhog. And you? You’re the illiterate mother who made excuses for her instead of holding her accountable, and basically raised her to be a racist.

Nevertheless, Ratchet Momma persisted with her claims that her lovely daughter is not a drug addicts (don’t recall ever posting that she was) and how unbecoming of it that a Dudley teacher like SSTG would post stuff like this on the Interwebs:

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That’s when SSTG reached her breaking point and handed off the conversation to our coffee bitch – desk girl. And desk girl doesn’t really understand what the fuck is going on most of the time, but generally tries to smooth things over. Let’s see how it went….

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Well……she tried……

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Wait……what??? Did Ratchet Momma just call desk girl a “super sloth?” Is that some sort of combination of a “super sluth” and “fupasloth?”

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So many cards being played at the same time. Apparently this family should be given a permanent pass because Mom beat cancer. And I love who the racist posts were “taken out of context.” Because this is something that can be considered appropriate when you read it in the right context:

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At this point I feel like she’s going to tell her daughter to kill herself in order to prove a point.

Oh yea, and if the first thing that comes to mind when you’re defending your adult daughter is “she’s never done oxys,” it doesn’t really sound like she’s got much of a resume to work with…..

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Oh, and she’s apparently gotten in touch with local crazy man Gordon Davis, who once sued us for $153,000 for all the damages we caused his non-existent business and was laughed out of court by a real life judge a couple months later.

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Sounds serious. VERY serious!!

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So that was the end of that.

After that Ratchet Momma privately messaged this Turtleboy using her daughter’s Facebook page, which I’m sure Samantha was thrilled about. Another WICKED smart move on Ratchet Momma’s part…

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Once again, “you don’t know what you’ve done.” Because this is all our fault. None of this is Samantha’s fault for being in the middle of a viral World Star video and telling black chicks she’s gonna own them like her ancestors did. It’s all Turtleboy’s fault. Plus, she can’t be racist and you’ll never guess why……

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HAHAHHAHAHHAHA!! She grew up on section 8 in a very black neighborhood. Therefore it’s not racist when she posts stuff like this:

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Because you can’t be racist if you’re a white person who lived in section 8 at any point in your life. Funny mom should mention section 8, since Samantha herself denies living on the assistance of:

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It’s hard to explain away comments like this:

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But Ratchet Momma sure did give it a shot anyway:

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Oh I get it now. Samantha was just reciting the “I Have A Dream” speech on Facebook, when all of a sudden she went off on a brief tangent about owning black people. I hate when that happens.

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Blah, blah, blah. I had cancer, so my daughter gets to be a ghetto dumpster. Nothing is ever my kid’s fault, and other people are to blame when she tells them that she’s going to own them because I had cancer. “Feel bad for me.”

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Wah, wah, wah. Samantha had to tell those black girls that she was going to own them and hang them from trees because her defense was to “attack back harder.” Lots of normal Moms would use this sort of defense after their daughter embarrassed the family in a public setting. It wasn’t Samantha’s fault. Neither was the fight that the other people started in Boston. Because nothing is EVER Samantha’s fault!! Didn’t you know she has PTSD and had to move to Florida because Mom had cancer??

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Uh-oh!!! Sounds like we could have an Internet Civilians arrest coming up shortly.

Anyway, something tells me this isn’t the last we’ve heard of this story. SSTG tells me that she knows who the guy is from the video who punched poor, innocent Samantha in the face. This story could just be getting started. All aboard the turtle!!



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39 Comment(s)
  • August 31, 2017 at 6:18 am

    I do believe all the concepts you have introduced on your post.
    They’re very convincing and can certainly work. Still, the posts are very brief for beginners.

    May you please lengthen them a bit from subsequent time?
    Thank you for the post.

  • christine shanahan
    February 10, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    hey, fuck her! i graduated as the valedictorian of Weymouth Night School class of 2014, not her.

    • stayhiddenplease
      February 15, 2017 at 12:07 pm

      try to google her father… Christopher Tartaglione….. #jailbird

  • The Poop Hole Loop Hole
    February 9, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    Mommy daughter fuck. I’m so in!

  • Kiera
    February 9, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    This isn’t the first fight she has bee in that has gone viral. There is another one of her on a train st. paddy day fighting someone. So this is a bunch of BS. she ruined her self. The damage she has done to other people is probably not even close to what she claims she is dealing with.

  • Strata
    February 9, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    They have been exposed to the world. Like the attention ladies? I’m laughing at you. Along with everyone else

  • Talisman
    February 9, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    Jesus…Wait. I know what’s going on here. Aiden Kearney = Donald Trump = Bored out of his skull POTUS who IS every turtleboysstgdeskgirl (and hamsterpenusanusturdfeistybibnmic commenters as well) all rolled into one. Twitter is not enough for him and he is the evil genius behind this hideous website.
    Whew, glad I finally figured that out. How could I have been duped for so long?

    • BobnMic
      February 9, 2017 at 1:34 pm

      Great post Tal, you seem like a really smart girl. Do you wanna get a private chatroom sometime?

      • Talisman
        February 9, 2017 at 1:46 pm

        Hey Aiden, I mean The Donald. I know it’s you, but I’m out of your age range. You been hanging out at the Bling Bling store shopping for orifice to burgle?

  • screencapmania!
    February 9, 2017 at 11:02 am


  • Ronnie
    February 9, 2017 at 10:50 am

    Don’t give an ounce of sympathy for this mom. Maybe she wouldn’t have been a single mom and gotten cancer if she hadn’t fucked half of the guys on her ex’s softball team.

  • Aiden Kearney
    February 9, 2017 at 10:31 am

    Ahh, and the bitches done poked the turtle.
    Get some.

  • Cougar hunter
    February 9, 2017 at 9:38 am

    Let’s be honest, any man who says they wouldn’t break a nut off in the mom is a liar. I mean shit just look at her, she’s probably laid more miles of pipe than the Boston Gas Company.

  • Leukemia Kid
    February 9, 2017 at 9:16 am

    The mom should be grateful she only had daytime cancer. If she had night time cancer too Sam would never had been able to go to school.

    • Llc
      February 9, 2017 at 1:17 pm

      I can’t.


  • Groovy Times
    February 9, 2017 at 8:51 am

    I’m sure back in the day when mom was puffing the magic dragon she would get stoned out of her skull and tell her friends “Sam’s a great little kid when she’s not chewing on my shoes or pissing on the carpet!”.

  • Ink Man
    February 9, 2017 at 8:31 am

    Her selfish mom brought her to my shop and was like “Hey ink man can you give Sam a face tat so she doesn’t feel like people are staring at her enormous chompers?”.

  • Dentist Dan
    February 9, 2017 at 8:20 am

    This is what happens when you care more about smack than taking care of your kids.

    Sam should have had braces when she was 12 now her only hope is to marry an orthodontist or do side shows as a human jack o’lantern for the rest of her life.

    I’m sure as a baby mom would have her druggie friends over to get whacked out on roofies and watch Sam chew the fuck out of a soup bone for entertainment.

    Poor neglected kid.

    • ZephyrCat
      February 9, 2017 at 10:40 am

      Now that shit was funny, dentist dan! You should take that act on the road!

  • Cougar hunter
    February 9, 2017 at 7:22 am

    Samantha T has the fugliest teeth I’ve ever wanted to cum across!

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      February 9, 2017 at 9:29 am

      Wow… What amazing creative word play! Lol…

  • Make America great again
    February 9, 2017 at 7:16 am

    I would grab that Mom by the P

  • Cougar hunter
    February 9, 2017 at 7:14 am

    You can tell just by the picture the mom has burnt off a few brain cells snorting up the Angel Dust! I like it.

    • BobnMic
      February 9, 2017 at 8:31 am

      Cougar Hunter, I am going to have to ask you to come down to the station for questioning, or is it an interrogation? No wait, an interview. That’s it. I need you to come down for an interview so I can determine if this Tredge Burglestein character has expanded his drug dealing expertiese in to the PCP market now. I already have solid evidence that he is a cocaine kingpin, but if I can tie him to an Angel Dust conspiracy, that would seal the deal.

      DEA Agent

  • Cougar hunter
    February 9, 2017 at 7:06 am

    I like these two. Together we could make one of those amateur ‘mother teaches daughter how to give a BJ’ movies and they could play with my meat puppet!

  • BobnMic
    February 9, 2017 at 7:03 am

    I would totally hit that, both the mom and daughter, but I’m currently on a steakout at Worcester Bling Bling. It’s just a matter of time before that Burglestein character shows up with a stack of cash he made from his latest cocaine shipment and I am going to be waiting right here when that smiling piece of shit shows up. He won’t slip through my fingers again.

    DEA Agent

    P.S. If any of my loyal fans here would like to help me out with bringing Tredge to justice, please send a dozen donuts to the unmarked car that’s parked across the street. Just don’t do that banana in the tailpipe trick from 48 Hours to me again.

    • Spend It All
      February 9, 2017 at 8:10 am

      Actually, it was Beverly Hills Cop, not 48 hours…

      • BobnMic
        February 9, 2017 at 8:24 am

        You are right. The 48 hours was how long it took me to figure out that someone stuffed a banana up my tailpipe.

    • BobnMic's Gaping Anus
      February 9, 2017 at 8:25 am

      Banana in the tailpipe? I wouldn’t feel a thing. Maybe if you stuffed a watermelon up there instead though.

    • BobnMic's Tiny Penis
      February 9, 2017 at 8:26 am

      My dick is small enough to fuck the gap between her teeth.

      • Aiden Kearney
        February 9, 2017 at 10:22 am

        ^ now that’s funny.

  • Stu Pidazzo
    February 9, 2017 at 6:37 am

    Causation of making my head hurt. Im not sure how you guys and gals deal with this shit all day, every day. Lots of advil in the desk drawer, I’m sure.

  • Cocomom
    February 9, 2017 at 4:02 am

    “Social anxiety, panic, depression, PTSD, suicidal,” etc.. Uh oh, I’m seeing a lifetime SSDI check in someone’s future.

  • Dick Dover
    February 9, 2017 at 2:39 am

    Jeanie Mahon, sounds Irish. Definitely full of shit, go figure.

  • Sharon Needles
    February 9, 2017 at 2:17 am

    This girl is 21? Living with her parents? And has to have her mommy defend her honor? Samantha honey, I know where your problems have originated. Arrested development from being raised coddled in a world where you could do no wrong, no consequences for any of your actions & and no future-time-orientation. Grow up. All of you …and Mom quit lieing to people thinking everyone’s stupid enough to believe your bullshit. It’s insulting to a adults intelligence.

    • ZephyrCat
      February 9, 2017 at 9:53 am

      Here’s what always been sad. Moms defend to the death and turn a blind eye for anything the person that popped out her cootch does. Killed 3 people…..he was a good boy, etc, etc. Listen Mom, just cuz you shit her out 21 years ago doesn’t mean shit to the rest of us.

    • ZephyrCat
      February 9, 2017 at 10:47 am

      You could tell mom also has experience playing people. If anger doesn’t work, break out a sob story & play on their sympathy. That doesn’t work, threaten with the law. It’s like Bart Simpson: “Good old rock, nothing beats rock!”. Except when the rocks are what Samantha’s apparently been chewing on for years.

  • Dick Dover
    February 9, 2017 at 1:45 am

    I’d like to think that it was Dennis Hoppers lines from True Romance that I posted that pushed the racist snowflake over the edge. Truth Hurts.

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