It Wouldn’t Be A Patriots Parade If 2 South Shore Sausage Queens Didn’t Fight On Steps In Front Of A Baby And One Of Their BF’s Got Tossed After Punching A Chick In The Face
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It wouldn’t be a Patriots championship parade without a couple of drunken South Shore sausage queens going at it on a staircase to determine who is the most ratchet chick at the parade this year:
Let’s go to the play by play. It’s only a ten second video and it starts with the brunette having the upper hand by pulling a move straight out of the hoodrat playbook – the hair pull:
But unfortunately for the brunette it backfired on her as she pulled the blonde chick on top of her, leaving her in a position to for a skull fucking:
That’s when the dude with the gloves chimes in with a line that would make any woman’s heart melt in Taunton –
“Fuck off my bitch.”
If that’s not a South Shore love story then I don’t know what is.
But that’s when things got out of hand. Up until this point it was just two cheesehogs going through a Boston parade day ritual as a mother holding a baby watches in horror at the top of the stairs. Then the guy in the gloves goes full trailer park by punching the brunette chick in the face:
And then jamming his fingers down her throat:
Or as they call it in Plymouth, “foreplay.”
Then this guy came over and was the hero:
Backwards hat with flat brim? Check.
Timberlands without any dirt on them whatsoever? Check.
Backpack likely filled with Natty Lights? Check.
He’s got the complete “I drove all the way here from UMass” starter kit. The only thing he’s missing is a chinstrap.
Anyway, after watching this guy beat on the girl for a couple seconds he became primary protagonist by literally tossing the other guy down a flight of cement stairs:
That’s gonna leave a mark!!
Well, as time went on we found out the name of the brunette chick – Samantha Tartaglione:
And as you can see, no one feels bad that she got hit by a dude because she is well known for posting racist things on Facebook like this:
She seems lovely.
Not only does she dislike people with darker color skin than her, she also has a big problem with “tattletales”:
Not quit sure what that means, but it sounds important.
Shockingly this Weymouth product feels that her thirst for education was unquenched at Weymouth High School, where she graduated in 2014:
Don’t worry Sam, school is overrated. There are many careers out there for you involving poles:
She’s also looking for love:
So that fight you witnessed at the parade today might have actually been some sort of Weymouth mating call.
What’s she looking for in a guy? Ya know, the usual – flat brimmed hats, chains, and vokestaches –
The ability to pound Twisted Tea by the case
And the general philosophy that posing for a picture while guzzling cheep beer is something that makes you cool.
I remember my first beer. Good times.
Evidently her racist rants have caught the ire of many who believe it was justified for the guy with the gloves to strike a woman in the face more than once:
Anyway, ya know who Turtleboy blames for this? Everyone. At least everyone involved in the broo-ha-ha. If you get in a fight at a Patriots parade, you’re a gutterslug. If you think it’s OK to hit women in the face, you’re a trashbag. If you’re a chick and your go-to move in a fight-fight is to pull the other chick’s hair, you’re a swamp donkey. If you think it’s OK to not bend the brim of your hat, you’re a slugrake.
But yea, as much of a trashbag as Samantha from Weymouth is, this guy should really be publicly shamed too:
If you recognize him, please message us with a name so we can have some fun with him too.
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