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Ray Pork Asks Judge For New Court Date So He Can Try Out For Vancouver Canucks After He Was Kicked Out Of Salisbury Strip Club, Smeared Feces In Cell, Tried To Fight Cop

Newburyport News: A New Hampshire man, who claimed in court Monday that he was a professional hockey player looking to make a Vancouver Canucks farm team, was ordered held on $500 cash bail after his arrest Sunday during an altercation at a Salisbury strip club.  Kevin J. Corbin Jr., 33, of Stratham asked Judge Peter Doyle to push back his next appearance in Newburyport District Court until February so he could travel to Idaho and play for the Sun Valley Suns hockey team. He was charged with resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and malicious destruction of property. Doyle said February was too far in the future and ordered Corbin to return to Newburyport on Nov. 29 for a pretrial hearing. Doyle also allowed to stand a $500 cash bail issued by Salisbury police following Corbin’s arrest.

Corbin had made overtures to reach a plea agreement with an Essex County prosecutor but then turned down the offer when he learned he would be sentenced to 18 months of probation and possible jail time if he violated probation. The details of the prosecutor’s offer were included in a court document.  Salisbury police responded to Kittens Gentlemen’s Club on Sunday shortly after midnight to help management remove what they described as an unruly patron, according to court records. When police arrived, several Kittens employees were escorting Corbin outside when he began struggling with them.  

Kevin J. Corbin Jr. is everything you dreamed he would be and more:

Does this look like the kind of guy who won’t be trying out for a NHL team in Idaho during the middle of the hockey season?

What professional sports franchise isn’t looking to add a 33 year old washed up swamp donkey to join their team halfway through the season? Sorry your honor, but he just doesn’t have time to come back for these frivolous court appearances. Too busy getting that Stanley Cup, nah mean?

That was just the beginning though….

Salisbury police Officer Timothy Rivet intervened and placed Corbin against a parked car while he tried to handcuff him. Corbin was combative but Rivet was able to place the handcuffs on him. Corbin then screamed that he wanted to fight with the Kittens security staff as well as tussle with the officer.  “During transport back to the Salisbury Police Department, Corbin began stating how he wants to fight me and take the cuffs off. He is a mixed martial artist and hope he sees me in the streets. I advised him that what he was saying would be documented in my report,” Rivet wrote.

Oh snap!!! He does MMA. I bet you this Obaphones Jones has at least 5 or 6 Tapout shirts too.

Then he put on a show at the Salisbury Police Station too:

At the police station, Corbin continued to be uncooperative and appeared to be suicidal, police said. That prompted Rivet and Officer Richard Dellaria to remove much of his clothing to keep him safe and then place him in a cell. Inside the cell, Corbin flooded the toilet and smeared urine and feces on a security camera.  “Needless to say, after Kevin was released, 24 Trauma Cleaning Service needed to respond to the station to clean and disinfect the entire cell area,” Rivet wrote in his report.

Smearing his feces, flooding the toilet, and requiring the “Trauma Cleaning Service” to come in the next day at the taxpayer’s expense. Just another night out at the strip club for Sad Marchand!!

On top of being an aspiring NHL superstar and a MMA killing machine, he’s also a football stud who stars for……some team:

As you can see he’s even got the captain’s C stitched onto his jersey, so he’s real deal certified.

And if you play for a rival squad, don’t even try talking shit on his Facebook page, because he will bury you with screenshots.

Good thing he didn’t get kicked out of the strip club and cover his jail cell in Hampton Beach poop in July. He’d miss training camp with the Patriots too.

Shockingly this was not Bobby North Shore’s first drunken run in with the law. There was that time in January of 2017 when he was doing some daytime DUI in Bow, NH, smashed into a tree at high rate of speed, and then ran into the woods, only to be found an hour later.

Then there was the time he was charged with burglary, stalking, assault, obstruction, and false imprisonment, WHILE ON PROBATION:

“Portsmouth Police detectives investigated Mr. Corbin for making unauthorized entry into a home this past weekend. Once inside Mr. Corbin assaulted the person inside and held the individual against their will. Corbin continued to make contact with the victim after the crime telling the victim not to report the crime,” reads the police press release.    

Then just for good measure he had his license revoked for a DUI later that year.

I don’t know how the Vancouver Canucks will ever survive without this clearly talented winner on their team.