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Reader Email: Turtleboy Is Mean For Blogging About My Brother For Not Paying His $143 Compass Tavern Bar Tab Full Of Twisted Tea

Reader Email: Turtleboy Is Mean For Blogging About My Brother For Not Paying His $143 Compass Tavern Bar Tab Full Of Twisted Tea

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Yesterday we blogged about this guy Jason Marchand, who several people identified as the guy who dipped on a $143 bar tab at Compass Tavern in Worcester, which was then passed on to the unsuspecting woman who was there to promote Devotion Vodka.

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After we wrote about him and urged him to repay Compass Tavern, we got an email from the fam, letting us know what assholes we are:

Hi, a friend sent me the blog about petitioning Jason Marchand to pay the tab he left at Compass Tavern. Which was deeply humiliating because he is my brother. I appreciate the irreverent and derogatory humor of the piece. You know how to shame people to get a laugh. That’s a great talent. That bit about his friend wearing a knit cap indoors, their “chin straps”, and all the other numerous low insults that really don’t contribute anything to ensuring “justice” is served. You must be very proud of yourself. It carries on a fine tradition like stocks in town squares and public lynchings. Maybe we should stand them up outside the Compass Tavern so people can throw food at them.

I get it though. It’s salacious- like Worcester’s own rag mag. Just sad to me that fodder like that is used to entertain instead of trying to appeal to the better angels of our nature. But whatever. You obviously have no regard for any innocent people that you might also be hurting. But poor you, you can’t know the legacy of hurt I’ve gotten to enjoy because of my big brother that you’re simply adding to. I’m sure you wouldn’t think of that.

I would be happy to send a check to whoever it should go to. Do you have contact info? I would really really like to take care of this before my poor 68 year old saint of a mother hears about it. She has spent her life and all her livelihood trying to get Jason the help he needed and trying to clean up his damage along the way. Not that you would care about his demons. You just see an asshole and that’s good enough for you. Keep up your good work humiliating people. Like I needed one more reason to hate my last name. My father was really enough for that but thank you for making it just a little bit worse. Not that you would care about that either. Thank you for hurting me. It’s nice to be reminded of the cruelty of strangers. 

-Nicole M.
I do not give permission for any of this to be used in any form of media. Go ahead and continue to enjoy the laughs your blog post prompts. I don’t expect you to take it down. I just want to take care of the tab so that those employees of the vodka company don’t suffer. 


Fair warning – if you send us an email and you end it with “I do not give permission for any of this to be used in any form of media,” we’re probably gonna use it without your permission, especially when it’s this ridiculous. Because obviously adults know that when you send an email to someone, they are not required to keep the contents of that email private. That’s not how the Internet works.

Anyway, gotta love how once again the entire blame is put on Turtleboy for being the messenger. Newsflash – your brother intentionally set two innocent, working class women up to be stuck with his bill. Demons don’t make you do that. He chose to do that using his own free will. It was calculated and premeditated, and done with the sole intention of harming other people financially. It’s not our job to protect your feelings from being hurt because your brother pulled a scumbag move. Instead of you writing a check for him, perhaps he should just man up and pay for it himself. Might be a good start.


Look, I realize he probably didn’t see this one coming. No one ever expects to have their spot blown up by Turtleboy. But just let this be a warning that Turtleboy is more than just one person. Every single decent human being out there is Turtleboy. They are all reporters. And when they see something grimy going on that needs to be reported, they message Turtleboy headquarters and we blog about it. A great way to not end up on Turtleboy is to not be an asshole, and pay for your Twisted Teas. Just assume that Turtleboy is always watching and you should be just fine.

She wasn’t done:

You don’t know if my brother’s friend had said he was taking my brother out and paying for it (and I won’t give you his friends name because his family wouldn’t deserve the humiliation any more than I do). You don’t know if they left money and someone stole it. You don’t know if that woman is telling the truth. You don’t know anything. I don’t either. I haven’t been able to even get in touch with my brother about this. But he is being slandered on the local internet circles and that hurts me so IF there is an unpaid tab and you have contact info on that I would like to send money just so we all know that any possible wrong was righted. But it seems to me like that isn’t even really your aim. 

Oh I see. So we’re going with the “they left money and someone stole it” routine. Of course. Except the cameras say otherwise, so we actually do know that the woman is telling the truth. Never mind the poor waitress who brought out Twisted Tea after Twisted Tea, only to get stiffed with a tip of zero at the end of her shift. Fuck her though right? Because your poor, innocent brother has demons that make him act like an asshole.

Anyway, we’re pretty sure we’ve got the name of his companion, so he won’t be the only one taking the fall for this. Stay tuned!

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28 Comment(s)
  • sigh
    January 19, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    “You don’t know if that woman is telling the truth.”
    That was the first thought I had when I read the first article.

    Then I saw she played the “I’m a single mom” card, and my next thought was, why is she hanging around the bar when the shift is over? Go home. Don’t play the kids card like that.

    “The Vodka company has one job and one job alone – pay your employees. They have no reason to get involved in a dispute between a bar and a patron. ” Does the company have a policy about employees hanging around after shift is over? Maybe they don’t want this sort of thing happening while being associated with the company.

  • Turd Burglestein
    January 19, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    The sister seems normal enough for a slam pig. I wonder if she vapes? I vape, vaping is cool.

    • Turd Burglestein
      January 19, 2017 at 6:07 pm

      Huffing my anal vapor does not count as vaping.

    • Robert Dulmaine from Athol
      January 19, 2017 at 10:52 pm

      Vaping is for pussies! What you need to do is find you a cocaine dealer who takes payment in blowjobs. Once I was done sucking, I would sniff the lines off his cock but it’s better than paying cash for a hit!!

      • BobnMic's Tiny Penis
        January 20, 2017 at 6:44 am

        I’ll take payment in blowjobs. You wanna come sniff some lines off my cock?

        • BobnMic
          January 20, 2017 at 9:48 am

          That’s barely a key bump… But then again, what do you expect for 23 seconds of work…

  • Cry me a neurotic river
    January 19, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    Not taking responsibility as usual, blaming everyone for their woes. He is a middle-age low-life thief, pretty simple to figure that out. Have to bring in the mother too of course. The working woman who was ripped-off is the victim !

    January 19, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    just in case any one was wondering Nicole M is Nicole Marchand…I think

    January 19, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Duke Westwood hit it on the head. And what happened to his “no drugs” bullshit he posted before becoming a hippster in a whales vagina anyway? You know how many times my parents caught me doing drugs (no just the reefer) and beat my ass? guess what I don’t do drugs anymore(on a daily basis). I also pay my mortgage and bills and am funding my wedding with my fiance. holy shit and guess what I’m 26 and most likely like 10 years younger then this loser. his sister was probably a honor roll student that could’nt afford real college (cause her dad was a drunk…im just speculating here so stay with me) and got second in her class cause the dean knew her brother and secretly hated him…any thoughts

  • Rhino
    January 19, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    Nicole M? feisty, that was your brother who skipped out on the tab?

    • Sheriff BobnMic
      January 19, 2017 at 8:42 pm

      I doubt it! I’m the real deal here. Don’t believe me? Just look at my picture. You see that badge right there? Authentic Worcester Police Sheriff badge.

  • Talisman
    January 19, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    Ending the use of stockades, tarring and feathering, public shaming, ridicule and public executions are part of the reason why assholes feel free to do what they do nowadays. If no one in the public knows who they are, then they can constantly find new marks. It just might be that our ancestors were smarter than us at behavior modification by displaying to the public at large what happens when you choose to fuck someone over. But all that ended when it was decided that a criminal’s rights and feelings were found to be greater than those of their victims.
    I hope you feel terrible for exposing this dine n dasher dumbass, his knit-capped California knob gobbler….and now his brilliant enabling sister. Is there a chance they can get arrested before she actually pays the bill?

  • LOB
    January 19, 2017 at 3:52 pm


    • squirley
      January 19, 2017 at 3:57 pm


  • fordsnharleys
    January 19, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    TBS doing what the courts can’t or won’t, shaming criminals. These street fights, selling EBT and skipping out on tabs has brought more humility than any appearance before a judge. You should be on Joe Early’s payroll.

  • lolwhut
    January 19, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    Enablers like Sister Call the Waaahhhmmmbulance there are why this asshole continues to do what he does- why not?
    Saint Mom and Saint Sister are there to pony up the cash.
    Get down off the cross, we need the wood.

    P.S. Nicole, your brother is a fucking asshole. Cut him loose or be prepared to pay up forever! Enjoy your martyrdom 🙂
    P.P.S.S. “maybe someone stole the money” LOL! Keep making excuses, you are good at it.

  • Turd Burglestein
    January 19, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    From the brother’s description, it sounds like Jason is a real dickbag who has a long history of doing embarrassing shit to his family…yet they continue to enable him and encourage his dickbag behavior by offering to pay for what he did. They’re a big part of the problem too because nobody gave Jason the asskicking he deserved when he was young enough to learn that if you do dickish things you get your ass kicked. Now he’ll just have to accept living the rest of his life in public shame when the google machine has its way with him.

    I did like the one idea the brother had about standing them outside Compass Tavern so we can pelt them with food. Jason will like the chocolate pudding I’ve got for him.

    • Mambo
      January 19, 2017 at 2:45 pm

      So who kicked your ass when you were young so you could learn? Did he kick your ass or make you eat it so you have this shit fetish now?

      • Turd Burglestein
        January 19, 2017 at 4:57 pm

        I think I will go to Mambo this weekend and leave upper deckers in all your toilets. You can post your note of thanks here next week.

        • Duke Westwood
          January 19, 2017 at 4:59 pm

          Watch out for all the underage trim in there… And don’t get stabbed by the fine up-standing clubgoers. They seem to have a real problem keeping them under control.

        • Mambo
          January 19, 2017 at 6:18 pm

          Be my guest. I’ve never stepped foot in Mambo’s in my life. You all get wound up too easily. Don’t forget to go to Taco Bell or Smokestack or any other turtle boy sponsor before. Both are shit and get the job done for you.

          • Turd Burglestein
            January 19, 2017 at 7:04 pm

            So if you’re not a regular at Mambos, you must be hanging out at some other fine establishments like the Boston Eagle or Cathedral Station. That’s probably more your scene.

          • Mambo
            January 19, 2017 at 8:05 pm

            Where the fuck are those places? I don’t go out in Worcester. I work in Boston. Why would I waste a good Friday night commuting back? Fuck that! Ya’ll can have your ratchets. I use the Mambo handle cause you all get wound up quick and whatever violations they have, every other bar in the area has but TB doesn’t go after them. I guarantee you Compass has underage drinkers yet TB is begging for their sponsorship.

          • Turd Burglestein
            January 19, 2017 at 8:16 pm

            Yes!!! Rage on mambo. Tell us how you really feel.

        • Lola Bunny
          January 19, 2017 at 10:09 pm

          Turd that was actually really fucking funny. Cheers buddy and go get em hahahahaha!!! Maybe eat a bunch of chili first to make it really special for them Hee Hee

  • BlackandWhite
    January 19, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    At least she writes complete sentences instead of acronyms.

    • justme
      January 19, 2017 at 7:53 pm

      This. Sister Nicole writes well, so I give her credit. And she’s trying to protect Brother, even though she slyly admits he’s kindasorta a tool. It’s a dickhead move, even if your friend initially offered to pay.

      You don’t run out on a bar tab, leaving the waitress/hostess with the bill. As the great Hunter S Thompson said, “The only bedrock rule is Don’t Burn the Locals.”

      Nicole, nice gesture, but please, for his sake, let your (apparently) fucktard brother grow up.

      And total non-sequitur, but Devotion vodka is diesel-tasting swill.

  • Duke Westwood
    January 19, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    So… what she’s saying is… she’s not surprised her dickhead brother would do something like this… the family has been embarrassed by him his whole life… She’d like to make things right herself… Just like the enablers that have been allowing him to do shit like this his whole life… Sounds like he needs some public shaming.

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