Hoodrat Heroes

Rochester Heroin Dealer Who Threatened Trump Messaged Us Today, Pretended To Be The Police And A Lawyer, Vows Massive Defamation Suit


Yesterday MVTB did a blog on a winner she named the “pube face killah,” after the Rochester heroin dealer announced that he received a visit from the feds due to a Facebook post threatening the President.

Since drug dealers don’t really have anything to do on a Wednesday he spent most of this afternoon messaging Clarence Woods Emerson on Facebook. Because it’s a shared account different bloggers (and Abi) kept responding to him, and we’d like to share it with you because it’s so amusing.

So we’re off to a great start. The guy who sells poison and was recently arrested after running from the cops is now calling the police on Turtleboy over a blog that pointed out his criminal exploits, because it’s going to hurt his burgeoning rap career.

No town in America produces more finished basement rappers than Rochester, NH. Not sure this is gonna cut it though.

Oh, and Dawson’s Fleek, make sure you tell the cops about this video you have with your buddy flashing and pointing a gun at the camera, which is no doubt registered and licensed.

Don’t bother taking the video down; we saved it.

He also spoke with his lawyer and came armed with screenshots of Ted Cruz.

Well this is a first. We are now being sued for “false information false indicator.” And he spoke with the US Marshals who investigated him for threatening Trump, and they’ve informed him that they’re dropping everything to put the Turtleboy crew in jail.

He kept going…..

He kept calling too, claiming to be the police who were calling and texting from his phone instead of their’s.

This was just so fantastic. A ratchet who hates the police pretending to be the police and a lawyer simultaneously. This is why I love Turtleboy.

Then finally there was this.

The fact that ratchets are now de facto referencing Mike Gaffney makes this even better. And Clarence is my wife now I guess. Who knew?

Anyway, if shit for brains wants to come on the live show Saturday night he’s more than welcome to. We’d love to hear his side of the story, if I’m not in jail by then.



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54 Comment(s)
  • Fuck this guy
    August 20, 2019 at 12:56 am

    I have a lot of dirt on this guy, not gonna lie. Use to buy weed from him. He’s pure fucking cancer. He is nothing but pure unadulterated ego. He doesn’t live in the real world, and he practically lives in his own head. I had no idea these convos existed, but god damn if I didn’t have fun reading them. Also, I have listened to some of his music, the female background singer has more talent than his shitty ass bars. Like seriously, he can’t rap, and no matter how much drug money you use to produce your sound, if you have no talent… then yeah good fucking luck.

  • Chaines
    March 16, 2019 at 11:13 am

    Why do all rappers walk and pose like they pooped their pants?

  • Jack
    March 15, 2019 at 9:54 am

    Scary looking, looks like a middle school punk?

  • Yuck
    March 14, 2019 at 7:40 pm

    I am surprised he found time away from sucking dick to write to TB. Maybe he was sitting on the toilet trying to push the cum out of his ass?

  • Can't Fix Stupid
    March 14, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    So he’s worried about accusations of drug dealing ruining his pathetic rapping career where he no doubt brags about selling dope in every shitty song he has ever written?

  • Richyrich
    March 14, 2019 at 2:28 pm

    Move over, Tony DeYoung, there’s a new flat-brim Roch toolbag that thinks he can rap in town. Ten bucks says he with lives on Lafayette St. or in the bushes behind the courthouse

  • The angry taint
    Sam Gerard U.S. Marshall's office
    March 14, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    i can assure you this festering boil on the armpit of society never contacted us, to the contrary we are planning to raid his shitty little den of inequities . I have my drop gun ready to go.

  • Hugh Mungous
    March 14, 2019 at 12:41 pm

    Is it too late for an abortion?

  • z
    March 14, 2019 at 12:34 pm

    Abigail, ever consider changing your last name to Normal?

    Dr. Frankenstein: [To Igor] Igor, may I speak to you for a moment?
    Igor: Of course.
    Dr. Frankenstein: Sit down, won’t you?
    Igor: Thank you. [sits on the floor]
    Dr. Frankenstein: No no, up here.
    Igor: Thank you. [sits on a chair]
    Dr. Frankenstein: Now… that brain that you gave me… was it Hans Delbruck’s?
    Igor: [Crosses arms] No.
    Dr. Frankenstein: [Holds up hand] Ah. Good. Uh… would you mind telling me… whose brain… I did put in?
    Igor: And you won’t be angry?
    Dr. Frankenstein: I will not be angry.
    Igor: [Shrugs] Abby…someone.
    Dr. Frankenstein: Abby someone? Abby who?
    Igor: Abby Normal.
    Dr. Frankenstein: [takes a deep breath] Abby Normal?
    Igor: I’m almost sure that was the name. [He and Dr. Frankenstein laugh]
    Dr. Frankenstein: Are you saying… [Stands] that I put an abnormal brain… [Puts hand on Igor’s hump] into a 7 and a half foot long… 54- inch wide… [Grabs Igor by throat] GORILLA?!?!?! [Strangling Igor] IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE TELLING ME!?!

  • Jigga Love Dawg
    March 14, 2019 at 11:58 am

    To all young boi aged 18 to 19 with tight bottoms. Give dis niga a call. Love Dwason Boston

  • Thrillah
    March 14, 2019 at 11:45 am

    Dawson looks like a cummmm guzzling sodomite who is ready for the Neverland Ranch.

  • Wannabe Crapper
    March 14, 2019 at 11:38 am

    Losin’ Douchin’ Dosin’ Dough-Boi Dawson Bossin’ Boston… I could go on forever. Backward Black High-Hat Phat… SPLAT! Take THAT!

  • McHoodstuffer
    March 14, 2019 at 11:36 am

    Dear Turtleboy,
    Is Abi single and looking for a date?
    I love red heads, especially ones with IBS. It’s super sexy…

  • Francis Sidebottom
    March 14, 2019 at 11:32 am

    Uncle turtle turd would have his shit pushed in if he made it to lock up

    • Dr. Phil
      March 14, 2019 at 11:43 am

      Now TB has its own erotic fan fiction. I didn’t see that coming! Put away the paper towels and lube Randall, this is becoming unhealthy.

  • Gerardo Mejía
    March 14, 2019 at 10:38 am

    “Rico Suave”

  • Mom's Basement
    March 14, 2019 at 10:27 am

    Dawson Boston is a great name for a rapper. I can rhyme the shit out of that. So what kind of finished basement we talking? We talkin full separate entrance walkout or ‘khead?

  • Dawson Boston
    March 14, 2019 at 9:54 am

    You people are sick. Leave my sexual orientation out if this. Stop the gay bashing or I will add that to the charges. It does not matter who I sleep with. Just because I prefer penis in my bum does not make it ok for you to insult me. I am even hoping someday I can be the top but you people are ruining for me.

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      March 14, 2019 at 10:09 am

      Give us a kiss, big boy.

  • Death Penalty
    March 14, 2019 at 9:49 am

    Death to drug dealers.

    • White Lives Matter
      March 14, 2019 at 10:49 am

      Would love to see the feds just kick down his door and spray his brains all over the wall.

      • Jim
        March 14, 2019 at 11:55 am

        Didn’t you read his texts? What fucking brains??

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    March 14, 2019 at 9:04 am

    Working title of his album – “Dawson’s Queef”

  • pepe LaPube
    March 14, 2019 at 8:39 am


    • johny yuma
      March 14, 2019 at 10:35 am

      In 1962 boxer Emile Griffith was in the ring against Benny Paret, when he seemed to explode with anger and pummeled his opponent with such force that, after getting knocked out, Paret died of his injuries. It was eventually revealed that some time before the fight Paret had called Griffith a “maricón.”

      Griffith, who was born in the Virgin Islands, rarely discussed his orientation but was said to have lived fairly openly in his later years. He also was said to have been deeply affected by Paret’s death. Emile Griffith died recently, and openly gay boxer Orlando Cruz, who is blazing such an amazing trail with his courage and candor, dedicated a fight to Griffith.

      Sadly, all of these years later, that word “maricón” is still very much in use and still hurting people.

      In the last two weeks GLAAD and a number of LGBT advocates have been calling attention to the Mexican rock band Molotov which is headlining the Jagermeister Tour and has a song called “Puto.”

      A lot of LGBT Latinos felt pride that a band from Mexico was headlining this prestigious tour. But the lyrics of the song are deplorable. The song includes the words “maricón” and “puto.” Maricón means “faggot,” in every country in Latin America and “puto” does in many (including Mexico). The song also includes the lyric “matarile al maricón” or “kill the faggot.”

      • Everybody knows that
        March 14, 2019 at 6:43 pm

        Well so you say much of this is hearsay and unprovable. History reimagined to suit the present, an overlay of lies qualified by a true story now corrupted. This is the story you should be focusing on.

        Gentleman James John Corbett (September 1, 1866 – February 18, 1933) was an American professional boxer and a World Heavyweight Champion, best known as the man who defeated the great John L. Sullivan. Despite a career spanning only 20 bouts, Corbett faced the best competition his era had to offer; squaring off with a total of 9 fighters who would later be enshrined alongside him in the International Boxing Hall of Fame.

        “This unique study helps to increase our understanding of how and why this happens and identifies some of the precise reasons why boxing is more successful than many other sports in engaging with the most hard-to-reach individuals and having a positive impact on their personalities and behaviour.”

  • King Fish
    March 14, 2019 at 8:31 am

    He has very short legs! Loved his rap

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    March 14, 2019 at 8:21 am

    LOLOLOL how the fuck do people thus stupid get up and get dressed in the morning? There are no words for this guys stupidity. Pretending to be the cops from your own phone has got to be an all time top 50 in stupid criminal rankings. I loved tgevtext: “Dawson gots everything he need on you” Ok officer Shit for Brains… Lolol

    • Y
      March 14, 2019 at 11:10 am

      They don’t; they get up in the afternoon, you know, because they leach off the gov’t instead of working.

  • Dawsons Mom
    March 14, 2019 at 8:06 am

    Dawson honey, it’s Mom. Please stop Facesnapping that nice Turtleman and come downstairs to the basement. Your Hot Chorizo Pockets are ready and your little gay friend Alberto is here and just rang the doorbell.

    • hank
      March 14, 2019 at 9:46 am

      “hot chorizo pockets” made me actually laugh out loud. Well done.

  • Ghost of Aaron Hernandez
    March 14, 2019 at 7:06 am

    El es lindo!!!!!

  • WeRFucked
    March 14, 2019 at 7:00 am

    Could DB become the first openly gay rapper? That would be majestic. Is the very last picture of the previous blog about this DB possibly him & his lover? Based on the comments, it appears the Turtle Riders seem to be assuming he is queer.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    • z
      March 14, 2019 at 7:36 am

      The Mug? shot looks a bit like Freddie Mercury except for the eyes.

      Except, that Freddie was talented and from what I read a real nice guy.
      Any bluster was his on stage persona.
      This fool lip syncs over an audio vocal track and he can’t even remember the words.

    • Francois Picard
      March 14, 2019 at 8:26 am

      he’s a homo, looks like a bottom

  • Karma Bus
    Wittle Wapper WooWoo
    March 14, 2019 at 6:58 am

    How dumb kid has no idea that the police and the imaginary lawyer would be telling him to NOT engage with you Oh this is so good with my morning coffee

  • Noseface
    March 14, 2019 at 6:57 am

    I lol’d at “Dawson’s Fleek”. Pretty good.

  • whatevuh
    March 14, 2019 at 6:47 am

    just another shit-stain on the underwear of society, how do these scumbags function?

  • White Privilege for Days
    March 14, 2019 at 6:40 am

    Rochester, N.H
    Great place to stop and take a shit on your way to your vacation property in North Conway. Because I have a job and like to vacation where all these dirty things aren’t.

  • Olde Man Rivers
    March 14, 2019 at 5:11 am

    I wonder at times like this, what it must be like for people this dumb. Is it akin to living underwater, is every thought too dense to carry? Why are there so many of these rattlebrained folk being stupid in the daylight? They put themselves out there like dip for TB’s chips.

    • Fredo Corleone
      March 14, 2019 at 8:13 am

      It ain’t the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I’m smart! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!

      • Fredo Corleone
        March 14, 2019 at 8:16 am

        i can handle things, i’m smart! michael, i know if you have sex and then more sex it equals 12 !

  • False Irrigation MF'r U going down!
    March 14, 2019 at 3:40 am

    Hello dis is da FBI calling U on count of Dawson broke back Boston.

    Hello dis is da ManchVegas police n’ shit calling on behave of Dawson.

    Hello dis is da distinct attorney for New Hampshire suing you.

    Hello we is da Police from da IRS cuz U insulated Dawson.

    Hello I the liayer for the legal actions on Dawson’s rap career n’ shit.

    • Big Wick
      March 14, 2019 at 8:10 am

      Dang you, morning coffee through the nose! Your comment is the “Gold Post!”

      Poor Abi, she should get a raise for having to deal with this $#!+. I especially loved “Dawson gots everything…”, ’causer that’s ALSO how the po-lice communicate. Sigh. Can’t wait for the new release by Rawdog’s Son. By the way, feel free to use that as your professional name, Bostie Boi. I hereby release all real, implied, or imagined copyright to you… just to help your burgeoning c-rap “career.”

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      March 14, 2019 at 9:06 am

      Congrats – you win the internet and a year’s supply of steam.

      Tremendous post 🙂 🙂

    • hank
      March 14, 2019 at 9:49 am

      Hysterical. These are some of the funniest comments I’ve seen here in a long time.

  • OG. originally gay.
    March 14, 2019 at 1:56 am

    Every time he shoots-up could be his last, fingers crossed.

    PS. Did his parents live downstream from a soy factory?

  • Stiff Pete
    March 14, 2019 at 1:15 am

    What a fuckin shit for brains. He can’t rap he can’t even remember the words!

  • Kim Un Jong
    March 14, 2019 at 1:05 am

    Fucking hilarious. I even think my great aunt had the same blouse he’s wearing in the rap video.

    BTW: “make sure you tell the cops about this video you have with your buddy flashing and pointing a gun at the camera, which is no doubt registered and licensed.”
    In NH? You need better info.

  • What the fuck is he trying to say?
    March 14, 2019 at 12:39 am

    I don’t even know how you all can interpret what this clown is trying to communicate enough to write a blog about it…..kudos to you

  • nt
    March 14, 2019 at 12:26 am

    Duterte is a hero

  • Smack The Turtle
    March 14, 2019 at 12:15 am

    Become famous….as a fucked up assclown.

  • Crispy C
    March 13, 2019 at 11:43 pm

    Ugh Jesus fucking Christ it is always some faggot aspiring rapper flashing guns, dressing like a hoodbooger and lighting up blunts trying to impress the girls.

    There’s a small chance his rap career could go big once his balls drop and his voice deepens. No one wants to listen to another Lil Bowwow.

  • Y
    March 13, 2019 at 11:38 pm

    Build the wall.

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