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Last week we published this blog about Rowdy Rutland Piper who caused a panic when he claimed he was attacked by a 80 pound coyote outside of his house. The whole story was not even remotely believable. Coyotes don’t weigh 80 pounds, he would’ve been covered in blood if he stabbed it 10 times before it ran off, he’s terribly out of shape and likely would’ve been killed by a beast of that size, he looks and sounds like a stumbling drunk, and the coyote, which jumped on his back like he was giving it a piggy back ride, allegedly did this to the back of his coat:
When clearly that straight, clean cut was caused by a knife. If it was a coyote’s bite marks there would be smaller gashes everywhere from its teeth. Oh, and coyotes are pack animals, so there’s no way the other two coyotes would sit there and watch their friend do all the heavy lifting. The bandaids were a nice touch though:
In reality this guy probably got into a bar room fight or fell down a flight of stairs during a bender and needed something to tell his wife. Or she knew about it and it was all for a GoFundMe scam. Dude’s like the Water Whiz Wonder Weenie of Rutland.
But Lyin Kimmy Ring over at the Turtlegram fell for it hook, line, and sinker. She gave him the space to tell his lies by videotaping the whole thing and not asking any of these obvious questions:
This is why we’re Worcester County’s top news outlet and it’s not even close.
Well if you thought that was a bad lie, wait until you see this GoFundMe he created in September:
“Help me. Help a family.”
Give me $8,000.
Here’s a picture a cat with no explanation as to its relevance for this fundraiser.
So what could he possibly need $8,000 for? Let’s find out…..
So he has a carpentry business and naturally he wanted to invest in a backho. Because when I see this:
The first thing that comes to mind is “carpentry.” That thing will definitely help you install some new cabinets for sure.
So he went to go buy this massive piece of machinery off of some dude on Craig’s List. But as it turns out the sale was a “scam.” No details were given as to what that means, so we’ll just have to take his word that he showed up with cash to purchase this thing and the guy ended up taking his money and leaving him backhoeless.
As a result he lost thousands of dollars PLUS the money that was in his bank account. Ya got that? The guy who scammed him somehow got access to his bank account while meeting up with him and now he’s completely broke.
He’s trying to get the cash back by working with the cops and “government officials” because obviously this is an issue that the Board of Selectmen in Rutland would be VERY concerned about rectifying.
It gets better…..
Wow, this guy’s had some bad luck lately!! First his wife gets in a car accident and has “thousands of dollars of medical bill” to be paid. And the accident wasn’t even her fault!! Ya know who usually pays for that? Insurance companies. But I guess the jerkwad who smashed into her was an illegal immigrant in a stolen car who pulled a hit and run. Now she’s stuck with the bill in physical therapy.
Oh, and just to top it off 85 year old grandma is living with them, and she’s had three “rounds” of cancer and a pacemaker. This guy can’t catch a break!!
But you haven’t seen the best part yet…..
Yes, that’s right. He’s the good guy ladies and gentlemen. He once was out driving (to look for a job naturally) when all of a sudden he saw an elderly man laying unattended on the side of the road. This hero stops traffic, jumped out of the truck, performed CPR on the old guy randomly lying without a pulse on the side of the road, and got his heart going again!! What a miracle!! CPR only works a very small percentage of the time, but when you fight coyotes with your bare hands, you’re capable of pretty much anything.
He’s no hero though, that’s just the kind of guy he is. A guy who tells you about his heroic acts so you’ll donate to his GoFundMe.
Oh, and one more thing he’ll need money for in the updates…..
Of course his best friend’s brother was killed in the Las Vegas shooting. Poor guy has two kids and a wife. We don’t know the guy’s name to look him up (since the victims are all documented) but I’m sure he’s real. Rowdy Rutland Piper would love to help this family out but some ASSHOLE hacked his checking account of $25,000!!!
But wait….when he started the GoFundMe he needed $8,000. The $25,000 stolen from him was an update a month AFTER he created the GoFundMe. So…….according to him he already had $25K in the bank, but I guess he didn’t want to dip into that for the carpentry backhoe that he’ll use to shovel at church. Then all of a sudden that money magically was “hacked” with no explanation as to what that means, and poor Bri-Bri’s out of another $25K.
So just to review:
- He fought a 80 pound coyote using his Keefe Tech wrestling moves, stabbed it ten times, didn’t get a drop of blood on him, and called the Turtlegram and Gazette up to tell them.
- A guy on Craig’s List scammed him out of $8,000 for a backhoe he was planning to buy off of him for his carpentry “business”
- His wife was in a bad car accident with an unnamed driver that was not her fault, yet she’s the one stuck with crazy medical bills because no one had insurance
- His 85 year old mother needs help, because she’s had three rounds of cancer and a heart attack and he is the sole provider
- He recently saved an elderly man’s life by bringing him back from the dead after seeing him lying unconscious on the side of the road
- His best friend’s brother was killed in the Las Vegas shooting and he wants to help his two surviving children and wife
- Some ASSHOLE hacked his checking account of $25,000
And the Turtlegram and Gazette fell for his story. But please, tell me more about how Turtleboy is fake news.