All-Star Criminals

School Bus Full Of Churchfolk Crashes On Route 24 In Berkley After Smirnoff Sally Plays Bumper Subarus On Way Home From Latest Bender

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WCVBA woman charged after a serious bus crash in Berkley was in court Monday. According to state police, Christy Gilpatrick, 27, of Warren, was driving a 2014 Subaru Impreza when she, along with the bus, went off the road on Route 24 South. Police say Gilpatrick was driving drunk — her second offense — when her car swerved off Route 24 in Berkley Saturday night. Prosecutors said her actions triggered the crash, and hit a black Nissan before hitting the bus. According to court documents, Gilpatrick’s blood alcohol level was more than .15. Police said she told them she had one drink at 6 p.m. The state’s maximum legal BAC is .08. Gilpatrick was held on $2,500 cash bail. Several adults and children were seriously injured when the bus crashed into the woods. State police said 23 occupants, including the driver, were aboard the bus around 9:45 p.m. Saturday when it went off the road, over the right shoulder and into the woods. The school bus that was returning from a light display at LaSalette Shrine in Attleboro. Several of the people on that bus — all First Student employees and their families — were seriously injured, including some children. Berkley’s fire chief said they recently conducted drills for a bus crash, which helped them respond to the incident.

How he hell does a school traveling on a highway crash with 23 people on it and no one dies? I swear to God these are magic boxes. You almost never hear about kids dying on school buses, which is amazing because millions of them deliver our crotch fruit home 5 days a week. They have no seatbelts, and half the time they’re being driven by people you wouldn’t trust to microwave a hot pocket. The only thing more remarkable than that is that Smirnoff Sally was so plastered at 6 PM on a Saturday that she couldn’t avoid a gigantic yellow school bus going in the same direction as her. I know, I know – those are hard to miss.

All I’m saying is, thank God she wasn’t smoking pot. That’s dangerous!!

This chick is every Subaru owner ever.

That right there is a HARD 27. She might be 27 in human years, but in Mr. Boston years she’s at least 68. All you really need to know about her is that she refers to herself as a barista.

Studies have shown that minimum wage employees who get paid fill a cup up with ice coffee and still call themselves baristas in order to sound more professional, are almost always pretentious douchetwats.

She’s also got no shortage of pictures on Facebook of herself pounding down the devil’s juice.

Something tells me she might have a drinking problem. Just sayin. Next time she wants to drink and drive she should probably NOT do that, but if she does then at least wear a disguise. This won’t cut it.

Here’s my question – what was a bus going from Attleboro to Tiverton doing on Route 24 in Berkley? Riddle me that:

Stick to what your iMachine tells you to do and you won’t end up with your school bus flipping over because Smirnoff Sally had one too many Mai Tai’s at dinner.

35 Comment(s)
  • deflateddoritodinks
    December 4, 2018 at 10:38 am

    She’s 27?!!! Also I could not figure out the relationship to Attleborough, Tiverton, Berkley and route 24?!!

  • Little late fox 25
    December 4, 2018 at 7:20 am

    So this is her second OUI and the judge has ordered her to remain alcohol free, attend AA meetings and not drive in Massachusetts. Ridiculous! That what was said on fox 25 news this morning.

  • Donna Mitchell
    December 4, 2018 at 6:19 am

    Their bus depot could have been much closer to Rt. 24.

  • Subbies for Subbies
    December 4, 2018 at 6:18 am

    Bought a Subaru and didn’t try to race everybody on the road! Never happened.

    WRX drivers, it speaks for it self, they wanna race and go fast…. but the friggin Forester driver… doing 65 in heavy snow… really… really… blowing slush piles all over the peeps with 2wd doing 35 with their hazards on… tailgating on black ice…. seriously you have to drive like that?? Half a car length off the rear bumper on a clear Summer day while doing the afternoon commute.. can’t you see how you’re driving?

    Did all the Audi and Volvo owners switch to Subaru? F&@king jerks!

    • Scott
      December 4, 2018 at 9:15 am

      Subaru owners fall into 2 camps. Those who buy the crappy automatic/CVT and those who buy the excellent manual. She’s in camp 1.

  • Turd Reversalist
    December 4, 2018 at 4:59 am

    Bet she dyes the pits and the muff too.
    Would smash, with protection, all holes, mostly in the turdcutter as she’s secured to a suitable piece of furniture with some purpose built leather accessories.
    It’d be fun making her gf watch while tied to a chair as I taunt her further by reminding her that rainbow stunt driver was really enjoying it.

    • You're a 16 year old
      December 4, 2018 at 5:05 am

      LOL MOM I WROTE DIRTY TALK ON THE INTERNET AGAIN LOL

      • And you're a twunt
        December 5, 2018 at 12:14 am

        Please resume your regular practice of masticating satchels of phalli, spermburp.
        You dye and braid your pubes.
        16, lol…right.

  • Tony Esposito
    December 3, 2018 at 10:29 pm

    So two oui”s already. Somehow got a feeling she’s gonna go for the trifecta. As stated by many, that’s a rough looking 27. No thank you.

    • Fred Knessl
      December 4, 2018 at 6:01 am

      Yes 2 OUI’s for this skank.
      What really frosts me is that the first one was classified as a Misdemeanor? For an OUI?

  • Turd Ferguson
    December 3, 2018 at 9:27 pm

    Self centered drunken skank…

  • whatevuh
    December 3, 2018 at 7:43 pm

    I was going to say “time to clean up her act” but it’s WAY too late for that. And, you’re right, that’s a hard 27 yrs

  • z
    December 3, 2018 at 7:16 pm

    Hey , 1 sippy cup of Jägermeister or Yukon Jack counts as 1 drink. You’ve got to be drinking poison like that to look like that. Probably guzzles it down without coming up for air.

    But, she’s from Warren which is where the smart people that left Ware moved to.

    • z
      December 3, 2018 at 7:20 pm

      I believe I have my Warrens mixed up. Is this one as much of a dump as the Mass. one?

      I was wondering why she was drunk so far from her cave.

  • Archie Bunker
    December 3, 2018 at 7:14 pm

    Things i hope go out of style in 2019 and never come back:

    1. Girls dyeing their hair all fucked up neon clown colors
    2. Boi buns
    3. The stupid fucking doorbell knocker piercing in the nose
    4. Tattoos
    5. Guaged ears
    6. Cunt hair, hairy armpits on women
    7. Coexist bumper stickers (unless right next to it is a trump sticker then its fine)

    • No Bad Fads
      December 6, 2018 at 3:47 pm

      I’d like to add so many more things to your list, but I’ll narrow it down to a handful:
      1. Spelling boy “boi”.
      2. “Bois” wearing skinny jeans.
      3. ALL face piercings.
      4. Unkept/ungroomed beards. (Personally all facial hair, but I can compromise.)
      5. Rainbow stickers. No one cares anymore.

      Oh, I’d also like an end of this catch & release our judges like to do. Catch the repeat offenders and keep them.

  • Hellz a popping
    December 3, 2018 at 6:06 pm

    I’d let her dry out on my bed. Just for a week or two… Then she’s out with the trash…

  • Chet Manley
    December 3, 2018 at 5:50 pm

    Whoa, that is one rough looking 27 year old. I would have guessed 47 at least, but holy fuck! Should do a check on pornhub to see if she is an “adult” entertainer. That, and the booze, would explain why she looks at least two decades older than she actually is.

  • Linda
    December 3, 2018 at 5:46 pm

    Good question TB. why was this bus in Berkeley? Find out and let us know.

    • deflateddoritodinks
      December 4, 2018 at 10:43 am

      Wait it’s Berklee. No Berkly. No Berkely. so many Berkley’s so little time.

  • Fred Knessl
    December 3, 2018 at 5:42 pm

    Maud Gorman in 5 – 6 years…

  • Cooter Davenport
    December 3, 2018 at 5:20 pm

    Face piercings, tats, and weird colored hair = the trifecta of a damaged goods female.

  • WeAreFukd
    December 3, 2018 at 5:12 pm

    BigDaddy said it right.
    Warren ages people about one-and-a-half times the normal rate.
    In Warren years, she’s actually 40.5 years old, so she looks about right.
    I’m glad I live in Holden. We age .7 years to one.

    Colored hair & tattoos = “I’m hiding from something inside and I don’t know what it is. I just know I don’t like what I see in the mirror.”

  • Crunch
    December 3, 2018 at 5:12 pm

    I bet her pussy smells like old granola

    • Y
      December 3, 2018 at 11:26 pm

      I was thinking a bag of old, wet pennies

      • you are both correct
        December 4, 2018 at 6:22 am

        Old wet granola pennies made out of tuna fish.

  • Twat Waffle
    December 3, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    Can we place bets on whether or not the Subaru has a “COEXIST” bumper sticker on it?

  • bigdaddy
    December 3, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    Is she from Warren MA if so that explains a lot

  • Clitty Litter
    December 3, 2018 at 4:35 pm

    At least one “I’m with Her” sticker or a “Resist” sticker on the Suby I imagine.
    Probably both.

    • Y
      December 3, 2018 at 11:24 pm

      Don’t forget Coexist

  • ElJefe72
    December 3, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    Also, she reminds me of Quagmire’s dad from Family Guy.

  • ElJefe72
    December 3, 2018 at 4:29 pm

    What is it with SJW women (and some men) coloring their hair all the time? It’s almost like they hate themselves, so they do something to try to make themselves look “unique” along with annoying everyone else who disagrees with them by trying to be self-righteous and overbearing.

    • Captain Ass Hole
      December 4, 2018 at 6:44 am

      Anything for attention and….. SJW’s are stupid people they bond over dumb ideas to reassure themselves they are smart and the billionaire President Donal J. Trump is stupid. You know the same man who fixed Obama’s “new normal” shit economy in 18 months when Obama couldn’t fix it in 8 years.

      Every once in a while I see a genuine super hot hippy chick who is all natural… and if I get a chance to talk to her and she is the real deal… no shoes, dirty feet, gentle, intelligent, a rare sparkle in her eye, doesn’t hate anyone, including Trump or the NRA.

      I get an instant boner, then I meet her friends.. her angry fucked up crew of groupies who worship her for not being a phony shit head like them. They all hate me and I laugh at them, I’m banging your queen. She digs who I am bc I’m as open about who I am, as she is about who she is…. now go fuck yourselves you unwashed pachouli smelling, hemp wearing, dope smokers.

      I’m taking your queen up to Stratton Vt for the weekend in my SUV, she doesn’t ski or board so were going to ride the lift, take pictures, she still uses a 35mm film camera, go ice skating and snow shoe. She loves nature as do I, then we’re going up to our expensive capitalist room for some loving. My financial resources and man toys don’t bother her… she’s doesn’t judge. She’s a vegan but I’m still determined to get her to try venison.

      She giggles behind their backs and can barely get the words out “you shouldn’t be so mean” then smiles.

  • Eddie Ice Cream
    December 3, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    Is that Elizabeth Warren Jr?

  • Judas Was Framed
    December 3, 2018 at 2:44 pm

    A check of the google machine indicates this chick has a GoFundMe to help defray medical costs…

    …for her cat.

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