All-Star Criminals

Sex Scandal At Manchester Middle School Turns Into Dawson’s Freak As Teenage Boys Have Apparently Stopped Having Standards

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This latest teacher sex scandal out of Manchvegas has me wondering…..

Obviously this skag is demented if she feels the urge to go out and wrangle up some pubescent hog. But at the same time, what the hell is wrong with kids these days? Back in my days boys used to try to try to get victimized by junior smokeshows like Amber Jennings.

That was at least something to brag to their friends about. How is a 15 year old boy gonna brag to his friends about climbing Mount Exeter?

First thing you’d wanna do if you were somehow drunk enough to toss it down her stench trench is Exeter, amirite? If they made this into a TV show they’d have to call it Dawson’s Freak. I know, I know, she’s a Manchester 8.5, but still, these kids have internet now. They know what real women look like. They should be having better fantasies than this while exploring their bodies. They should know that cheesehogs like this with their gray champion sweatshirts are supposed to be some guy named Sugar Bear’s last resort at the bar after blowing all his child support on Keno.

Anyway, did she even drill the kid? If not, that’s even more embarrassing. If you’re gonna have a sex scandal then have a sex scandal. If a 15 year old, who is in the horniest age bracket in the world, wouldn’t even pursue a handy, you might as well give up. And what kind of idiot sends noodz via email? Was it her school email? She seems dumb enough to use her school email address, which would be public information. FOIA time?

Ya know how you can tell this woman wasn’t a good teacher anyway? They arrested her at her house at 3:30. School gets out at 2:05, teachers probably have to stay there by contract until 2:20-2:30, and Exeter is 30 minutes from Manchester. Yea, she’s one of those teachers. The kind that got the fuck out the second the bell rang and took cigarette breaks between classes.

The bottom line is that if you’re a washed up teacher like this, and you don’t wanna do your job anymore, and you wanna break the law a little bit to spice up your life, just start manufacturing meth like a normal person. Ain’t nobody wanna seem dem noodz.

35 Comment(s)
  • Alvin Einstien
    December 9, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    Well when you think of ‘Planet Fitness’ she’s the Planet.
    There are two things she can’t say no to, hard candy or a hard …….!

  • No shame
    December 9, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    I would slide one into that. She looks like she could take a licking and keep on ticking. She’s got that long hair. Great for pulling from behind.

  • Kristen
    December 9, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    How do you know the kid was 15?  If the child was in her 6th grade class then he was no way 15. 

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    December 9, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    Imagine what her snatch smells like?

    Fucking low tide at the shellfish farm

  • Dick Dastardly
    December 9, 2018 at 10:57 am

    Fat girls give the best BJ’s. They consider pubic hair as dental floss.

    • Fitzy
      December 9, 2018 at 11:44 am

      Very true but fat girls are fucking terrible about keeping it on the down low. They’ll swear on a stack of bibles that they won’t tell anyone then come Monday your buddies are like “hey Fitzy, I heard you went hoggin’ again!”

      • Dick Dastardly
        December 9, 2018 at 2:58 pm

        We live in different worlds Fitzy. On Monday morning I’d tell my friends what a great weekend! I won $200 on the Pats game and last night I got a killer BJ from big fat Stacy in the parking lot. WIN WIN

  • Turd Ferguson
    December 9, 2018 at 9:54 am

    Keep your mits off underage boys you hideous fat cunt!

  • Milo
    December 9, 2018 at 8:13 am

    Raping children shouldn’t be a crime.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Barney Frank
      December 9, 2018 at 10:01 am

      Only if you’re a Democrat.

      • Milo
        December 9, 2018 at 6:38 pm

        Proud republican, actually.

    • Ebenezer Screw
      December 9, 2018 at 12:28 pm

      Riiight…and rape in general shouldn’t be a crime I suppose? And neither should murder and stealing from people? Criminals should be admired?   People shouldn’t be judged on what they do but rather by their appearance and race instead? I’m guessing that normal, rational thinking people won’t entertain your bullshit in  person so you come here.  All those asylums need to be opened up again. 

  • Anthony Weiner
    December 9, 2018 at 7:48 am

    Throw the book at her.
    The entire Encyclopedia Britannica.
    In the face.
    IN. THE. FAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

    • Burlando Castile
      December 10, 2018 at 11:12 am

      “Yes! Yes! In da face!!!!” Prince Hakeem

  • Josey Wales
    December 9, 2018 at 7:10 am

    I used to love old ladies when I was 15. So many advantages to them!
    1) They don’t tell
    2) They don’t smell
    3) They don’t swell
    4) They are grateful as hell
    Old not to good looking divorced women a bit on the chubby side were a lot of fun….like riding a moped lots of fun till your friends find out! This happens much much more than people think. Growing up older women used to troll the streets looking for a young stud and believe me there was no shortage of 15 year olds to take care of them.

  • Fuzzy Dunlop
    December 8, 2018 at 9:34 pm

    If I had to guess, I’d say she’s a teacher in the “special” class. The one with 19 year old sophomores who eat glue. That would explain everything. 

  • mahty flynn
    December 8, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    unfuckable, just hideous

  • Grade A Sugar Maple
    December 8, 2018 at 6:11 pm

    Yeah. I would tap that sugar maple. But then again…. Im a sap. She’s one of those women you hook up with in November, she keeps you warm all winter, then you kick her out in April.

  • pres. dumpy
    December 8, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    would. wouldn’t even wait to do whatever I want.

  • Mike Hawk
    December 8, 2018 at 1:58 pm

    My guess is this teacher has a diploma from some 13th grade type of college with a name like Freedom University or Discover College where the acceptance rate is 99.92% and SAT scores are optional. You look at this teacher making barely above the equivalent of teacher’s minimum wage, 75 lbs overweight and maybe 2 cats and a Lean Cuisine waiting for you every night, then it’s easy to see how illicit shenanigans with students is about the highlight of your dull existence.

    • Chips A-hoe
      December 11, 2018 at 3:38 pm

      No fucking way. She’s not eating Lean Cuisines every night. Unless she’s eating like 6 of them.

  • Dick Dastardly
    December 8, 2018 at 1:48 pm

    At that age you’d pretty much fuck anything.
    When i was fifteen I once fucked a wood pile because my brother said there was a wet beaver in it.

    • 80’s Alyssa Milano fan
      December 8, 2018 at 2:02 pm

      I figured out that the “slippery snake” toy was basically what would be branded 30 years later as the flesh light. 

    • Uncle Randy
      December 8, 2018 at 6:04 pm

      I used to fill a ziplock bag full of lotion and put it between the couch cushions.

      • Captain Trips
        Buffalo Bill
        December 9, 2018 at 5:42 pm

        It puts the lotion on it’s skin

    • Randall
      December 9, 2018 at 1:48 am

      Ever do the banana trick?
      Put a banana in the microwave for 10 seconds (any longer and you’ll have burns) and it’s an insta pocket pussy.

      Or, lube and bang your top and bottom toilet seats.

      Jerk off with a shower curtain.

  • Mike "Sarge" Riley
    December 8, 2018 at 1:13 pm

    I’d hit it . I would take her to Kowloon and feed her some Saugus wings courtesy of Andy Wong . And when she tries to pay i would say “It’s all good baby…No charge from the Sarge”
    Sup Zo

  • The Lost Ratchet
    December 8, 2018 at 12:51 pm

    To be fair I’d imagine any boy under 16 would rather hit the mountain instead of fucking the couch pillow.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Karen Webber
    December 8, 2018 at 12:26 pm

    Would.

  • Matty Ice
    December 8, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    Eww.  Gross

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    December 8, 2018 at 11:15 am

    Was the 15yr old in sixth grade? If so, that may have something to do with it. How’d they get the emails?

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    December 8, 2018 at 10:12 am

    She’ll get probation. If the sexes were reversed the poor bastard would get 20

  • Borat
    December 8, 2018 at 10:09 am

    She is strong on plow

  • Rudy
    December 8, 2018 at 10:07 am

    Since she’s the line coach for their football team so it could have been a hazing incident that went too far.

    • Doug Keans
      December 8, 2018 at 4:51 pm

      Wish I could give you 20 thumbs up upfront that one.

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