Ah, the Revere Carnival – the Brockton Fair of the North Shore. It wouldn’t be complete without a gang fight or a shootout, and attendees got their money’s worth this evening.
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BREAKING: “Police officers rushed to the parking lot of a movie theater in Revere where the annual Revere Spring Carnival was being held after shots were fired. The shooting incident was in the area of the Showcase Cinemas off Squire Road and adjacent to Route 1 in Revere. Video from people nearby showed a chaotic scene with people running from the area after the shooting. The movie theaters were evacuated and large crowds gathered outside of the cinema.”
Are we really surprised by this? I mean, the warm weather brings out the batshit in everyone. Couple that with the fact that it’s a holiday and also the last day of the carnival, and people are out of their ever-loving fucking minds. The Revere carnival has quite the reputation. In 2015, a bunch of hoodrat heroes decided to break out in a fracas in which they also started beating the shit out of the cops.
If you’re not familiar with this particular spring fling, it’s set up in the parking lot of the Showcase Cinemas in Revere (where the fleamarket will be set up in a few weeks’ time, peddling all those Chinese knockoff LV purses the ratchetry love so much.) Having its own exit right off of Route 1, it is easily accessible from all points ratchet within the Greater Boston area and the North Shore – Chelsea, Everett, Lynn, Revere, Malden, Saugus, so on and so forth. In other words, the best of the fucking BEST kid, so you just KNOW you’re getting a side of lead with your fried dough.
It’s an all-out melee right now in the Linden Square area of Malden where everyone and their baby mama has fled to safety at the nearby Speedway gas station.
People are currently being evacuated from the main theater as police are going theater-to-theater clearing the scene.
According to local unsubstantiated reports, there were multiple vehicles shot up by 4 black males who then fled on foot. Shots were fired allegedly both inside and outside of the theater. So far, 7 shells have supposedly been recovered. It’s still a pretty active scene with people losing their shit, so, I suspect more will likely be found.
Since this last post came out, Revere Scanner is reporting that one possible victim was located at the Walgreens next to the Speedway gas station above. Buddy ran to the right place. Some gauze, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, tylenol, and a Hello Kitty bandaid and you’ll be good as new, bro. Unless someone there is packing and then they can help you stick up the pharmacy for some oxys, kid. The fuzz are busy, so opportunity is a knockin’!
WHDH Channel 7 is now reporting on their live 10PM newscast that 4 victims have allegedly been located, including a pregnant woman and a toddler.
Speaking of opportunity… the velociratchets were out in full force, flexing those extra sticky fingers for this year’s coveted poop emoji hat carnival prize
I hope the Revere coppers and/or dispatch are reading this right now. Go bag this weird broad ASAP. Do you know how many carnies she probably had to toss out of her way to get those? Well, maybe not. If I saw that thing barreling towards me, I’d probably duck and dive under the whack-a-mole set up.
Yeah, she looks… normal.
Well, we can be sure as fuck it’s not the Easter Bunny you worship.
Anyway, this is a very volatile situation at the moment and info keeps pouring in. If you or someone you know happened to be at this abortion of a festival, send North Shore Turtlebabe an email with the scoop: firstname.lastname@example.org
We’ll have an update once more info becomes available. Stay safe out there, Turtleriders!
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