Hoodrat Heroes

Small Child Forced To Watch New Bedford Tweaker Tag Team Championship Brawl In Middle Of Intersection Over Whose Ho Took The Bigger Half Of The Crack Rock

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Stop what you’re doing and watch this epic New Bedford coed royal rumble that will decide who is the tag team tweaker champions of one of New England’s biggest shitholes:

That. Was. Awesome. So New Bedford it hurts. Now the Super Mario Brothers remix!!

In class New Bedford style not a single person called the cops. When the idea is even brought up it’s not even dismissed – it’s laughed at:

“LOL. I ain’t callin no cops man.”

Mofo won’t even fix his defective Obamaphone because the 9 doesn’t work. And you can’t call 911 if the 9 doesn’t work. No snitchin fam.

The best part is how they turn right just to watch more of the fight (even though they filmed vertically like savages, what year is this?), and then you hear a small child in the back asking “why are they running?”

Because it’s New Bedford kid. Sometimes you just gotta run. Don’t need to ask any questions about why you running, just understand that the other junkie is running so you best be running too, because he’s probably running for a reason. Could be some new testers out down at the projects, or cops are coming, or the DTA office opened up. More than likely the reason in this case is the gringo took the bigger half of the bag they just got from Diego, paid with from money they made from doling out handies to closeted businessmen down by pier.

Let’s go to the play by play…..

It starts off with with Dope Fiend Debbie getting pummeled by Crackwhore Carmelita…..

You’ll notice the plastic bag on the ground filled with goodies, also known as a New Bedford lunchbox. That was the Dope Fiend Debbie’s big mistake – she tried holding onto the New Bedford lunchbox for way too long and was essentially fighting one handed. Plus, Crackwhore Carmelita was fighting with way more passion, which will happen when you take the last crack rock without asking. She stood above her prey like a lioness waiting for the warthog to take its last breaths before dinner is served.

Then out of nowhere Manbun Moses appeared in order to defend his gutter princess by cold clocking Crackwhore Carmelita in the head.

Or at least trying to.

Unfortunately for him Purple Drank Pedro was right behind him to protect the honor of his taco warmer of the month.

And the two of them began grappling in the street, right next to a small child who watched it all go down:

It’s OK though. She’s growing up in New Bedford. Chances are this was the 2nd or 3rd crackhead throwdown she’s seen before noon on a Monday.

As they grappled you could hear the father of the year recording this say, “Oh shoot, he got the knife.” Yet he doesn’t leave, even though there is a small child in the car who could potentially watch someone get stabbed to death. Because….New Bedford.

Notice the other car watching has a license plate that reads, “PEST.”

Because once again…..New Bedford.

Once Purple Drank Pedro achieved the upper hand Manbun Moses immediately wrapped his legs around Purple Drank Pedro and the two of them began thrusting:

This isn’t the first time, nor will it be the last time Manbun Moses assumes this position in the middle of a busy intersection during broad daylight.

Crackwhore Carmelita saw the action and decided it was time for a threesome….

Peep the shoes:

She probably can’t afford rent and is likely on every form of assistance known to mankind. But at least she got those fresh Jordan’s. Because……democrats.

When Dope Fiend Debbie saw that her manbunned meat popsicle was in trouble she attempted to help him out by giving Purple Drank Pedro the slopqueef slap

Big mistake. The only thing Crackwhore Carmelita protects harder than her crack rock is the her syphilis Sunday special….

Now you’s can’t weave.

But because Dope Fiend Debbie is such a down ass ho she was way more concerned about Manbun Moses than she was about herself.

It’s OK, you’ll get the bigger half of the next bag.

This video was posted a couple of hours ago as I write this, and it’s already got hundreds of comments and 30,000 views. Naturally not everyone in the comments is fond of the videographer:

Once again, this is what we’re dealing with:

The hat. Nuff said.

From the looks of David Gonsalves’ Facebook page he’s putting that GED to good use by getting a legit job, saving up his money, and planning for the future.

LOL. Just kidding. This is New Bedford, so he’s just mainly looking for a nice fat ass to play with on his birthday.

Fuck a 401K when you can be blowing your entire week’s worth of crackrock proceeds on ice, tats, flat brimmed hats, and top shelf gray goose (which is really filled with Mr. Boston’s) at the club….

That glorious piece of hoodbooger pie isn’t leaving if he sees two of his customers battling it out in the streets like that, regardless of how many small children are in the car with him. I don’t make the rules, the streets do.

Anyone know any of these combatant’s names? We’d love to have them on Turtleboy Live this weekend!!

13 Comment(s)
  • mizzbigbooty92688
    Lost cause
    October 23, 2018 at 10:50 pm

    Man bun Moses I’m fukn done

  • Sincerely Sore
    October 23, 2018 at 6:42 pm

    I’ve known “man bun moses” and “dope head debbie” personally for many years and they’re both good people sure maybe they can’t fight for shit but then again priding yourself on being the toughest ignoramus in new bedford isn’t exactly glorious and maybe you should reevaluate your life. They don’t do drugs. They’re not pan handlers or homeless. They’re 2 poor unlucky people caught up by 2 of new bedfords finest. It’s laughable that this article blatantly asks the names of the people involved but simultaneously talks shit about everyone involved. How do you have all this information about their personal life but literally don’t even know their name. Presenting opinions from facebook comment sections as fact is not only slanderous but it’s piss poor journalism. You wonder why this site got banned from facebook, i don’t. I used to be a fan when this site actually exposed shitty people for the shitty things they do but this article is untrue and misleading. I’m a new bedford native and have lived in the area for over 25 years and i assure you living here there’s times when you have to square up against people for no reason or when you’re not in the wrong. If you had the actual facts behind this fight this article would be written VERY differently.

    • mrme
      October 23, 2018 at 7:57 pm

      Listen Ass Sore….no way any of these combatants are “good people”. “Good People” don’t brawl in the middle of the street in the middle of the day. Too think that they are not somehow involved in this obvious battle over drugs is no less than delusional. My advise to you is to get clean yourself and maybe you can see things more clearly. Although, I did detect a bit of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) in man bun moses’ ground game…it does not change the unpleasant truth that they all suck!!!

  • marilu
    October 23, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    funny that u called the first one “dope fiend Debbie” bc i could swear the ginger is Debbie’s bf on Shameless!! hahah identical

  • Clitty Litter
    October 23, 2018 at 2:26 pm

    My wife donated those Boston sweats to Goodwill two weeks ago.
    Nice turnaround.

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    October 23, 2018 at 2:24 pm

    “Now you’s can’t weave”…….lololololololololol Hysterical. I just choked on my gobagool!

    Way to ease in that “A Bronx Tale’ reference!!

  • George Soros
    October 23, 2018 at 11:48 am

    Don’t blame me, I made it perfectly clear that it was to be one rock per voter. 

  • Ray Patriarca
    Ray Patriarca
    October 23, 2018 at 8:04 am

    Fucking savages !
    And the Dems want us to import more of this “diversity”?

  • Gutter Muppet Honey
    October 23, 2018 at 6:37 am

    That chick starting to scream at the end of the video though.. hahaha

  • No Sympathy, hang em high
    October 23, 2018 at 6:11 am

    Savages, people.. adults living like quarreling baboons. It’s all of their own making, thoughts become actions. Choosing the “easy way out” is the hardest way out in the long run. Dulling your mind and emotions with substances destroys the person and their spirit. This behavior has become accepted and admired across large portions of the USA and it needs to be stopped. By counseling, rehab, prison, or a bullet. Street scum making cities unlivable.

    They choose this disgraceful life and we as a society enable them with second chances until they die from it or kill or somebody else. Re-open the mental hospitals and lock them up or institute Chinese style forced labor and re-education camps, these people clearly have no education in how to conduct themselves.

  • Lost and Found!
    October 23, 2018 at 5:14 am

    I’m hoping the “Pestilence” car is driven by one of the Four Horseman and there’s an End Times sign in the trunk. Why not start the end of the world in New Befah, it’s already listed that way on my Garmin GPS…

    • Boston High Culture Council
      October 23, 2018 at 10:11 am

      I’m hoping the “Pestilence” car is driven by one of the Four Horseman and there’s an End Times sign in the trunk.


      Poetry. Damn fine. Bravo.

  • Randall Gay
    October 23, 2018 at 1:08 am

    Please refrain from calling any suspected male hair in a bun “man bun”. Its called “boi bun” because they aren’t men. Just little gay boi’s who take it up the ass. Of course sporting a beard. They wouldn’t know how to change the oil in a car if their life depended on it. But they do know a lot about anal cavities. Fuck New Beffa, that place should be bombed

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