This is pretty methed up, you guys.
Turns out $6233 was also inside the accused woman
Ashley Beth Rolland, 23, was questioned early Wednesday by police after a man accused her of stealing $5000 from his home. The victim, Eugene Dix, told West Monroe Police Department officers that Rolland had stayed with him in his apartment for the last week.
Dix alleged that while he was showering, Rolland took his cash and left the residence. The affidavit identifies Dix as Rolland’s boyfriend.
During a subsequent interview with cops, Rolland, seen above, reportedly confessed to swiping the money, which was recovered during a “consensual search of Rolland’s person” by a female correctional officer. The exact amount seized from Rolland was $6,233.
The female jailer also discovered a “clear plastic bag containing approximately 1 gram of methamphetamine inside Rolland’s vagina.” The suspect, however, “denied ownership of the methamphetamine.”
It does not appear that Rolland explained to police how someone else’s meth found its way into her body cavity.
Rolland was charged with theft and narcotics possession, both felonies, and booked into the Ouachita Parish jail. She is being held in lieu of $8000 bond.”
Don’t you just hate it when someone else’s meth ends up in your penis flytrap? Looks like it’s not the first time something has ended up there that Smelly Furtado isn’t 100% of who it belongs to, either.
I bet she’s a wonderful mother, meth and cash tucked into her vagene while pregnant (again) notwithstanding.
Poor Dix. One minute you’re parking your spam javelin in some methhead’s tuna taco, the next you hop in the shower to wash off the venerial diseases, and she takes all your worldly belongings, stuffs them in her cavernous poon-purse, and takes off into the night. Who would’ve guessed?
Was it really worth it, bro? I mean…If you’re keeping score at home, a gram of meth plus $6233 is the equivalent of tuckering an entire eggplant in your hoo-ha. Even if that was mostly $100 bill’s, at minimum that is still 62 $100 bills. So it would appear you could back up a mac truck inside Smashley’s crabs cavern and turn it around without hitting any walls. That’s a bad hit.
This bitch is clearly not low-mileage. Then again….look at this fucking guy.
That’s the victim of this hoo-ha heist. Come on, now.
The only reason a chick like this
Is ever going to even consider slobbing the knob of a guy like that,
Is a meth addiction, not his sparkling personality and strong family values. That’s just science. This dude is pretty much asking to be the victim of a coochie caper. He advertises as such.
And guy isn’t not exactly your average “victim”, either. He actually appears to be a huge cockknob himself. Don’t feel too bad for Dix.
“Second degree rape?” Yeah, fuck this guy and his poor foresight, too. This isn’t Cashley’s first methstake. Besides sucking up the cash and drugs of whatever gross drug dealer she’s happened across in to her vagina like ants into a vacuum cleaner, she is working on quite the glowing Google resume.
Even Hellen Keller could’ve seen this coming.
So, only God can judge her, obviously. She’s just living her best life ya’ll.
Sometimes that includes taking off on her neglected poon polyp,
to roll around the sheets with a fat, rapey drug dealer and end up with the down payment on a used car and some mystery meth in her snatch-satchel. All while pregnant with another raw dog trophy that will promptly be delivered to the state’s child protective services, as soon as she pushes it down the birth canal and past the bag of ice. No negative comments, please!