Tiverton Tots had a local ratchet stop by today with her crotch fruit, who she used to help her herself to a bunch of free shit.
Teaching one crotch fruit how to steal while using the other as a prop is new levels of dumpster sluggery. She actually brought in an old car seat with a 6 month old inside, transferred the poor little poon polyp into a new carseat, and walked out with a bunch of free shit while she showed her four year old daughter how to gank a barbie.
Pro tip – if you have a noticeable tittoo and you plan on robbing a store, don’t wear a tank top because everyone is gonna know who you are immediately. Especially if you’re a world class ratchet with a stripper name. Meet Jade Fernandes from Somerset.
Dog filter. Shocker.
Her Facebook page is of course a cumdumpster cornucopia. She apparently just got off probation.
But sadly for her courts will be a regularly part of her life moving forward. Almost as common as playing the jizz flute for strange men who can buy her groceries.
Her poor daughter is already fucked up enough from being named Skylie.
Just because your mother gave you a stripper name doesn’t mean you have to curse your daughter with the same. Hopefully that poor kid can get the same luck that half of Kate Peter’s litter of children got and find a nice foster family to adopt her.
She can’t afford to pay for clothing or carseats but she can afford a BMW.
So this enabling twatwaffle should probably go ahead and shut her cock kisser.
After people started tagging her in the comments she replied to them individually with a sob story about her house burning down and how she lost her job due to the commie cold.
Listen trampzilla, if you lost your job due to commie cold then you undoubtably benefitted from it because there was no way your ass made more than the $600 a week you collected on unemployment. That doesn’t even factor in the food stamps and other assorted goodies you get from the welfare tree. You can afford a BMW, yet you can’t pay for clothes for your crotch fruits? Nah, you’re not a good Mom. You’re actually horrible and the DCF fairy needs to pay you a visit.
She claimed that she made arrangements with the store to return all the items.
But shockingly that turned out to be a lie too.
Anyway, if Jade wants to come on the live show this weekend to explain the various ways she dindu nuffin she’s more than welcome to hit me up on Facebook at Clarence Woods Emerson, or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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