All-Star Criminals

Southbridge Teacher Known As Yoooo Mistah Plants Live Ammo In School, Doesn’t Know About Surveillance Cameras, Puts School In Lockdown, Gets Arrested


Southbridge High School went into lockdown today when live ammunition was discovered in the building. Except there was a twist…..


What. A. Maroon.

Bruh, you’re a teacher there. It’s a nice new building they’ve got in Southbridge, which means there’s gonna be surveillance cameras everywhere. The mere fact that he’s dumb enough to not know that they’d look at the tapes and catch him in the act should disqualify him from ever teaching again. I’m honestly more offended by that than I am by the fact that he dropped live ammo in a stairwell, pretended to find it, and came to school reeking of booze. That and the fact that this boob brought a shotgun and 102 rounds of ammo to school in his car, despite the fact that his LTC was expired, knowing full well that WHEN he got caught they’d certainly search his car next.

Don’t get me wrong, his point was a fair one. But if proving your point requires the school to go into lockdown and a police investigation, then you should probably pick a better way to get your point across.

Southbridge really is it’s only little world. It’s surrounded by nice places – Sturbridge, Dudley, Charlton, Woodstock. Ask anyone over the age of 50 who grew up there – it used to be a nice little town.

Then they opened up the DTA office and it all went straight to hell. You do that and it’s like a ratchet siren. Every fupapotamus from southern Worcester County set up shop there within months. And when that happens the schools turn to shit. At least Worcester’s got options. Doherty is a lot better than North. Chandler Elementary and West Tatnuck Elementary are like different universes. But in Southbridge you just have one high school and middle school, and all these crotch fruits have to go there. Consequently they consistently lead the league in dropout rates and lowest MCAS scores.

Now this isn’t to shit on the teachers, who I’m sure besides this guy are doing a fine job. But you can’t turn Shaw’s brand sneakers into Jordan’s, and the teachers can only play the hand their dealt. It’s gotta be tough working at a school like this. I was at neighboring Shepherd Hill after teaching two years in Worcester and it was like night and day. Working in an urban school is a million times more challenging than a suburban school because of socioeconomic and cultural realities.

You can tell just by looking at this guy that Southbridge High School scrambled his brains. Just look at those bags underneath his eyes.

Dat muh fuckah has seen some shit. Dude looks like he’s a couple years from retirement and he couldn’t take one more day of being referred to as “Yoooo mistahhh.” Anyone who’s ever taught in an urban school knows what it feels like to only be called Yoooo mistahhh. The Yoooo mistahhh kids are the kids who are in gangs and like to play with guns and drugs. In Southbridge they are in no short supply. This is why at Shepherd Hill some of our best students were the kids from Southbridge. Because their parents cared and got them the hell out of Southbridge High School where they were taught to refer to their teachers as Yoooo mistahhh.

Oh well, without a job at least you’ll have more time for all night benders with the Mrs. at Foxwoods.

So like I said, the guy had a fair point I’m sure. It is easy to get guns into schools. He just couldn’t have possibly done a worse job proving his point. But the good part about working in Southbridge is the Yoooo Mistahhh kids will go full free muh boi if and when you are arrested.


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28 Comment(s)
  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    May 17, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    He seams normal.

    • Southbridge was OK before Democrats, Unions, and Immigration destroyed it
      May 17, 2019 at 9:53 pm

      Is there an echo in here?

  • Rih
    May 17, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    Since when does Shaws sell sneakers

  • Question
    May 17, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    I’ve always wondered why people dress shitty little dogs like a pinata and then get upset when little kids want to beat it with a stick?

  • Greater Southbridge
    May 17, 2019 at 11:48 am

    The only thing that can possibly save Southbridge is more Polish immigrants. You need a group cleaning, fixing, and improving to help balance the neglect and destruction brought by the onslaught of urban democrats.

    • z
      May 17, 2019 at 12:39 pm

      Where I am it’s Russians. There was a Section 8 housing project more or less controlled by the Latin Kings. Russians moved in. Not a lot of Latin Kings anymore. You don’t fuck with Slavs.

      Eastern Europeans and Asians are about the only group of people I’d be happy to have as legal immigrants.

      • Left Coast Turtlerider
        May 17, 2019 at 12:58 pm

        The Russians and Easter Europeans will only be in section 8 as long as absolutely necessary before pursuing the American dream. It’s a beautiful thing. In LA the joke among white people is that you need to be able to fake a Russian accent so that you don’t get messed with.

        • z
          May 17, 2019 at 1:30 pm

          Yeah, they get out ASAP even if it means 2 full time jobs.

          • Doood
            May 17, 2019 at 3:39 pm

            wow they are the best! I’m sure none of them scam the system….

            I have a bridge to sell you, donkey.

  • Although
    May 17, 2019 at 11:27 am

    Big Bunny. It’s literally the only reason that Southbridge shouldn’t be leveled. It’s like Market Basket only less crowded and management has inexplicably succeeded in domesticating the employees.

  • Yeah.....not yea
    May 17, 2019 at 11:25 am

    This weirdo looks like he’s tasted many, many penises. Many.

  • E. Fudd
    May 17, 2019 at 11:19 am

    Guy must do some upland hunting to have that much .20 gauge.

  • Southbridge was OK before Democrats, Unions, and Immigration destroyed it
    May 17, 2019 at 11:09 am

    He looks normal…

    • z
      May 17, 2019 at 11:21 am

      Probably plays make believe where he plays the part of the king and the dog is his court jester.
      Dog + cat salt shakers.
      Dog pin.
      “Love being owned by a Chihuahua”.
      Dressing your dog up.

      But, hey, I’m not judging.

  • Teachers be Like
    May 17, 2019 at 11:05 am

    Teachers, the blind supporters of the might D. Pushing liberal agendas and poisoning kids minds. Now to prove a point fatso brings bullets to a school. Well thought out plan. I feel for the real teachers that have been pushed into silence

  • z
    May 17, 2019 at 6:59 am

    The dog is thinking “What did I do to deserve this?”.

    This feels about the same when a bored fireman sets fire to an empty building and then calls it in to be a hero. “Atta boy Al!!! Good eye!!!!”

  • Who cares slow news
    May 17, 2019 at 5:57 am

    I am 45 and don’t ever recall
    Southbridge to be nice ever! Also who cares what This teachers wife does on her time! Also let the teacher be cAuse no teacher wants to teach at that shit school so might as well keep him he does his job! I am sure we all broke a law one time in our life . Some get away some don’t. Btw I ran a red light and got away with it .

    • Mike Dukakis
      May 17, 2019 at 10:22 am

      I worked for the WELFARE department in the 70’s and Southbridge was a pit then. Any town with a “bridge” in its name is a shithole.

  • Jeff J
    Southbridge is a 3rd World Shithole
    May 17, 2019 at 1:50 am

    Fuck the single shell, he shoulda brought in the AK and leveled the place.

  • Y
    May 16, 2019 at 9:20 pm


    May 16, 2019 at 9:09 pm

    All you people are so damn offensive. Let me tell you hunny Shepard hill and no day in the park a lot of those students are pill poppers. None of you people should be dissing southbridge like that I’m 100% sure your towns are a damn walk in the park either!!

    • z
      May 17, 2019 at 8:49 am

      No town is perfect. Some are worse than others. It doesn’t take much for a place to get a reputation.

      I drive through Southbridge maybe 2-3 times a year. From the car the place looks nice enough. I will defer to those with personal knowledge of the place.

    • Learn to Read
      May 17, 2019 at 11:00 am

      It appears to have done wonders for your grammatical skills

  • Siskel
    May 16, 2019 at 7:49 pm

    If he is this stupid, how the fuck was he a teacher?

  • whatevuh
    May 16, 2019 at 6:48 pm

    Read some of Darlene’s posts on FB, that POS is absolutely looney ! Plus fat and homely also . . . . and she’s a nurse? OMG

    • Git that freak on
      May 18, 2019 at 5:22 am

      Judging from the one pic available on her now sterilized page, It looks like mom and daughter both play nurse. I wonder if they’re both swinging freaks when they get out to the casino or a timeshare.
      I’d go for the sportsman’s double, bonus if they like a little bondage to spice it up.
      Cuckboy husband can go play one armed bandit on the casino floor.

  • NextDoor
    May 16, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    Southbridge. Who cares? Let them do what they do.

    • whatevuh
      May 16, 2019 at 7:29 pm

      It’s too bad, Southbridge used to be pretty nice back in the day 30-40 yrs ago, now it’s just another Central American shithole

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