This is Hennessy Cardona from Springfield.
And no, this is not a joke, the mind attached to the stench trench that she emerged from named her after the official nectar of hoodrats everywhere. Evidently her mother and father (lol, jk) decided to ditch the book of baby names and hit up up the liquor cabinet instead. Her brother Goldschlager approved of the name.
Yesterday she caused quite the stir when she posted this on Facebook and it was shared well over a thousand times.
This is what happens when the Pumpkin Spice Mafia starts accepting EBT.
Obviously this story isn’t even remotely believable and no rational human being would humor it. If a three year old girl was kidnapped at Six Flags and ended up getting raped by a tall black guy, who then refused to hand over the child once caught in the bathroom, the place would’ve been shut down by the police and it would be national news. It shouldn’t take Team Turtleboy to explain this to you.
Nevertheless it was blindly shared over 1,000 times because some people will believe anything they see on the interwebz. Especially in Springfield.
Yo Girl Why You Be Capitalizing The First Word In Every Sentence? 100, 100, 100!!
Others pointed out that it’s totally believable because she found a picture on Google image from an article on a VERY reliable source she clearly didn’t read, stating clearly that Disney also covers up child rape.
No one, and I mean no one, is going to pull a fast one on Jazmine and her magical powers of Google.
Other friends like Tito Dux and Destiny were equally upset, and pointed out how different it would be if a white girl was raped at Six Flags.
It’s so true. The only reason people are skeptical about this story is because Hennessy is not white. It has nothing to do with the fact that she admittedly got her information from an unidentified tweet.
She don’t make crazy shit up for clout. She just sees random shit on Twitter, assumes it’s true, and tries to create mass panic about a tall black guy raping 3 year olds at Six Flags.
Evidently this was the source.
This is what grandmother’s look like in Springfield
If you’re a grandma who uses dog filters and types in sentagraph form, it’s only a matter of time until you end up on Turtleboy. That’s just science.
Her granddaughter caught the child rapist in the act, stopped the predator in his tracks, and was suspended for it. She knows this because her granddaughter told her it was so. And there’s no chance in hell that her granddaughter could’ve gotten suspended at work for being a guttermuppet, then went home and told Grandma a completely different story because she knows grandma is ratchet as hell and will believe anything she’s told.
Luckily our favorite reporter James Villalobos from Western Mass News did what he always does – got to the bottom of it.
But again, it shouldn’t take James for you to know that this was a lie. It should be self evident.
Other clues that would’ve given it away are the fact that she’s named Hennessy because “Hennessy is awesome.”
Or perhaps her colorful social media posts where she threatens to knock her rival mom’s teeth out.
Or the fact that she let the world know that she has very strict qualifications in a mate.
I feel ya girl. Ain’t no “punk ass n word” getting in deez pants if they hesitate to pistol whip everybody and their mama every time I get into beef at the club.
Or her frequent videos calling out rival sperm sponges should’ve been a clue.
Or perhaps the public beefs she then gets into with other gutterslugs.
Which often times spill over into world star reject videos that she proudly posts on Facebook.
Because the most important thing in life for a grown woman should be establishing whether or not Natasia did in fact whoop her ass in the middle of traffic as she’s been claiming in the streets.
Anyway, the moral of the story once again is that if you see something on Facebook and it sounds too crazy to be true, it probably is. But nevertheless, in the spirit of fairness we would like to officially invite Hennessy onto a live show this week to explain why she thinks it was the right thing to do to spread a baseless lie like this about a child rapist at Six Flags.
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