In today’s episode of “Public Shaming Works,” we bring you a store in Dracut called Hookahs & Vapahs. And because every millenial douchetwat whose biggest accomplishment in life was finishing in the 36th percentile on the MCAS is now vaping, a shop like this is a magnet for sticky fingered slugrakes.
Love it. Little David Aylward thought he got away with pilfering a business because his broke ass can’t use Mom’s food stamps to buy a vape pen, but then Hookahs & Vapahs did what more businesses everywhere need to do to thieves – publicly shame them. Because it works:
He brought it back within an hour. Remember that the next time some social juice sausage queen whines about public shaming being a bad thing. Although there are many other things they could’ve shamed him for bud didn’t, such as the manbun.
His tapioca pudding french braids.
His proclivity for bathroom selfies.
Throwing up gang signs at Mom’s house.
The fact that he’s a 21 year old man from Lowell who looks like he dates girls who he picks up at Taylor Swift shows.
Attention girl in the picture if you are reading this – please, for the love of God, go on the pill if you’re not already. The last thing you want to do is pop out a poon polyp with his DNA, because this is the face of a guy who is destined to set the record for most money owed for child support.
You could also publicly shame him for his flagrant use of the n word, despite being the biggest cracker who ever crackered in the history of crackering.
Or even worse, his use of the phrase “on dogs,” when not mocking people who use that phrase.
See? They were nice to Statutory Stanley when you think about it.
Anyway, more businesses should do this when they get robbed. This is why Facebook was created – so we can all come together and publicly shame horrible people in order to make the world a better place.
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