All-Star Criminals

Stoughton Henny Raptor Gets 4th DUI In Spectacular Style, Drags Boston Pedestrian Despite Facebook Filter Telling People To Stay Home And Save Lives


This is Gellissa Objio from Stoughton.

She has fired out several poon polyps who unfortunately know her as “Mom,” but she recently turned her life around by sitting her ass at home.

See? She helped!!

Except there’s just one problem – she didn’t follow her own advice.

OMG, she could’ve killed someone!! Where is her mask???!!!

Yes, that’s right – this was her 4th DUI, and her second time getting arrested for driving with a suspended license. Because shockingly ghetto dumpsters like this aren’t really fazed by not having a license. If the key fits in the ignition then they’re driving it. Period.

Of course she was shitfaced at 6 PM on a Saturday, ran over a pedestrian, dragged him and attempted to keep driving. What do you think Henny raptors like this do when judges keep giving them chances? Turn their lives around?


Good one.

And in case you think she wouldn’t do this again in a heartbeat, here she is doing her field sobriety test:

Luckily for her this is Suffolk County and Rachael Rollins so she’ll be out of jail before you can say Food Stamp Friday. Same time next week.

Make no doubt about it either – she would’ve driven away if she could. It’s just that her truck literally had nowhere else to go.

Just yet another reason why everyone who has changed their profile picture to a condescending “Look at me, I’m saving lives and you’re a fucking asshole” filter, is a selfish asshole.


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37 Comment(s)
  • Light em up
    May 5, 2020 at 7:56 pm

    I wonder whose truck she trashed? He ain’t gonna be happy. Might be a beatdown when she gets home.

  • Casino Scum
    May 4, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    When I looked at the picture of her doing the walk of Shane/sobriety test, the old song from my childhood sing alongs instantly popped into my head.
    Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.

  • Silencio DoGood
    May 4, 2020 at 10:13 pm

    the guy she hit and dragged should not have been out.

  • Judge dread
    May 4, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    I dunno if someone already mentioned this and if so I apologize in advance, but I bet ratchet Rollins will release her and no bail her cuz of COVAIDS-19.

  • BetterCallSaul
    May 4, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    The only thing this person and those like her contribute to society is forcing us all to pay for the cops, prosecutors, judges, district attorneys, jailers, parole monitors, probation monitors and court clerks so that they all have a job. Now you know why they’re so fast to let them out. Gotta keep business up!!

  • Captain Trips
    All's Well Now
    May 4, 2020 at 4:48 pm

    She has since been placed back into the bovine pen at the Big E with a promise not to get loose again

    May 4, 2020 at 3:01 pm

    They are NOT bringing their best

  • george costanza
    The angry taint
    May 4, 2020 at 2:53 pm

    Soooooooooeeey! Sooeey!

  • Frank Rizzo
    May 4, 2020 at 2:09 pm

    Gelissa O b j haha

  • Jon Tudor
    May 4, 2020 at 1:55 pm

    A mask? She’s better off with a paper bag over her head!

  • Ratchetsaurous Rex
    May 4, 2020 at 12:45 pm

    What kind of species is this?

    She’s sloppy drunk… Like dirty, schwetty, sloppy drunk. Belly button dimple and all. Plus she’s getting off exit 16 of ALL places. Drunk Dora was on her way to see Diego to wake her sloppy ass up, her suspended license must’ve slipped her mind.

    May 4, 2020 at 11:46 am

    I wouldn’t have sex with her, I prefer Mayor Marty the drunk

  • Degrader
    May 4, 2020 at 11:24 am

    She likes it, they really like it.

  • randiguy2006
    May 4, 2020 at 10:46 am

    She just being freeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

    She’s know her rights!


  • Ojo Maricon Para Las Gorditas
    May 4, 2020 at 10:45 am

    You know you’re wearing the wrong shirt when you’re showing a belly button dimple the size of a tipped over army helmet.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    May 4, 2020 at 10:12 am

    That is one impressive goya gut on that hispanic hippo.

  • Boston Irish
    Dapper O’Neil
    May 4, 2020 at 8:55 am

    Geez what a disgrace, makes ya sick. Stoughton is jr ghetto

    • Townie
      May 4, 2020 at 9:30 am

      I’ve got family there, unfortunately Brockton is creeping into Stoughton and poisoning a once nice little town

      • Daniel Sullivan
        Sprinkle Pig
        May 4, 2020 at 5:04 pm

        Hey Listen you can blame Brockton all you want that place is trash but Stoughton has been a shithole for along time. Let’s not forget your entire police dept only about 15 years ago was one of the most corrupt depts in the state. So Brockton is a dump but Stoughton been on the rise of ghetto trash for a long time.

      • Ghetto Scholar
        May 4, 2020 at 10:37 pm

        These smaller towns surrounding Brockton may not have the hardcore ghettos Brockton has but in a lot of ways they are worse than Brockton. A lot of the same problems but without real police departments, city resources, or legit football teams

  • Dr Wu
    Dr Wu
    May 4, 2020 at 8:23 am

    She needed a truck to transport that whale meat.

    But!! Good news!!

    When the aliens come, they’ll eat the fat ones first!

  • No fat chicks
    May 4, 2020 at 8:11 am

    Why do fat chicks wear tight shirts? She looks like a stack of shrink wrapped snow tires.

  • The logical Libertarian
    May 4, 2020 at 7:53 am

    Crime: DUI, punishment: suspended license.

    Does anyone else see a problem with this??? Why are we taking away her license when she clearly has a drinking problem? Take away her drinking!!!!! Anyone arrested for DUI or under 21 should have a big red X on their license. ANYONE who serves them alcohol (bar, packie, friend, spouse, etc.) should face mandatory jail time. Drunk driving will be reduced by 95%. Instead let’s take away their license cuz everyone knows they won’t drive if you take a piece of plastic away from them.

    • Dr Wu
      Dr Wu
      May 4, 2020 at 8:25 am

      It’s called “Michelin Man Chic”

  • Taking a dump in a plastic bucket then dumping it all over my naked body to own the libs
    May 4, 2020 at 6:42 am

    Best pizza in town. Town Spa! At least Stoughton has that going for it.

  • Newport 100's
    May 4, 2020 at 2:22 am

    Never even made it to smack avenue.

  • Jesse Jackson
    May 4, 2020 at 2:15 am

    Sammy Sosa has really let himself go

  • Pitbulls and Parolees
    May 4, 2020 at 2:11 am

    200 pounds of shit in a 100 pound bag.

    • Cute Chick
      May 4, 2020 at 7:29 am

      More like 260 Lbs, still a 100 pound bag though…
      Why does the WuFlu affect more POC’s than other descriptions? Take a CLOSE LOOK at this fine specimen…

  • Rachel Rollins Albino Lawn Jockey
    May 4, 2020 at 2:07 am

    This is a non-story.

  • Southie changed I didn’t
    May 4, 2020 at 1:44 am

    What’s a Girl from Stoughton doing getting off at exit 16? All fucked up on the juice? Take a left at the top of the ramp and she’s only two blocks from Boston’s infamous Methadone Mile (ground zero for illicit drugs)…don’t most suburban Girls come to the city to shop at Copley or Faneuil Hall? That’s right their closed due to the pandemic

  • Facebook photo filters
    May 4, 2020 at 12:44 am

    Have made it virtually impossible to assist in the identification of women in an emergency situation, such as a missing persons case, or an All Points Bulletin for someone like this ratchet

  • Walter Dyer is Leather
    May 4, 2020 at 12:26 am


  • Jennifer Lopez
    May 4, 2020 at 12:18 am

    Spic Tormentor. Will you be hosting a Cinco De Mayo Fiesta this year?
    My invitation must have been lost in the mail? If you host I will bring tacos and burritos for all Turtle Riders.Alex will be home with the AIDS.

    • The Spic Tormentor
      Spic Tormentor
      May 4, 2020 at 10:17 am

      Oh you’re invited. the aèropostàl facemasks are on back order so waiting until those arrive to send out the invites. We are having it at the public pool so feel free to bring you swim suit (most spics just wear and-1 basketball shorts so those are fine too)

  • Keep on truckin'
    May 4, 2020 at 12:16 am

    What does she use her F-150 for? From the looks of her extra pounds, or stones as the British might say, she must be Market Basket’s best customer — definitely a frequent flyer there.

    But heads up jumbo woman, the corona virus is programmed to attack the obese with the same single-minded, take-no-prisoners determination you plan to the gallon containers of chocolate ice cream in the bed of your truck. Your days of taking no responsibility for your actions will be ending soon.

  • Judge dread
    May 4, 2020 at 12:03 am

    I hope she dies of CVOIDAIDS-19

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