• Follow Turtleboy on Facebook

  • Stretch’s Beer Pickles Are The Greatest Thing That’s Ever Happened To Pickles

    A while back the Board of Health in Westminster tried to make Westminster the first town in the country to ban the sale of cigarettes. It was ridiculous and the people revolted, because people in Westminster love freedom and common sense. A big reason that this was a dumb idea was that it would kill local businesses, many of who make money off the sale of cigarettes. And even though cigarettes suck, they’re legal in the United States and adults who want to buy them should be able to.

    One of the stores that would have been most affected by this was Vincent’s Country Store. Since we wrote about this and the townspeople overthrew the Board of Health head Andrea Crete, Turtleboy has had a friendly relationship with Vincent’s. It’s basically a nicer, cleaner alternative to corporate grocery stores.




    Plus they sell booze.


    Anyway, Turtleboy LOVES pickles, and they just so happen to make their own brand in the store called Stretch’s Pickles. They’re not your average pickles. They’re beer pickles.

    He insisted that they’d be the best Turtleboy had ever had. I doubted it, but I told him if he was right I’d write a blog about it. So Turtleboy Jr. and I got in the car and headed up to Westminster. And let me tell ya – you will never, ever taste a pickle like this one:


    The zesty Larry. They made these dills of heaven when they partnered with the Wachusett Brewing Company in Westminster. Soaked in booze. Spicy, but not too spicy. Borderline orgasmic.

    These ones hit the spot too:


    If you’ve never had a pickle that literally changes from wicked sweet to wicked spicy while in your mouth, you gotta try these ones.

    They make nine total flavors and you can find them all over north central Mass. They recently had a table at Brew Woo 2016 at the DCU Center and drunk people devoured them. And everyone knows that when you’re drunk you only like the best tasting food.

    So yea, if you go to Vincent’s in Wesminster and tell em Turtleboy sent you then they’ll give you a discount on pickles. But they also sell them at the following locations:


    Idylwilde Farm, Acton
    Ashburnham Wine & Spirits
    New Salem General Store
    Hannah Grimes in Keene NH
    Smith’s Country Cheese in Winchendon
    Boston Tea Party in Ashburnham
    Snug Harbor Wine in Duxbury
    Patriot Package, Templeton MA
    Vincent’s Country Store
    C&M Pizza in Leominster
    Appletown Market, Sterling MA
    Mill Valley Milk Company in Hadley, MA
    Wachusett Wine & Spirits, West Boylston
    Evan’s On The Common Townsend, MA
    The Thirsty Lab in Princeton, MA
    Wilson Farm Lexington, MA
    The Westminster Pharmacy, MA
    Westminster Country Club, MA
    Angler Fish Market Westminster, MA
    Brazzell’s Package Gardner, MA
    Wyman’s Liquor Leominster, MA
     Hot takes, hotter pickles.

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


    1. rico

      Thanks for the tip TB. I’m stocking up today.

    2. FiestyLawyerLady

      I love pickles, the spicy kind and dill are my favorite. When I was pregnant, I actually drank the juice from the jar, so disgusting when I think about it now…lol. I’ve had these before. I get them at wine and spirits in WB.

    3. Nai

      Great TB! I now have a request from a brother in South Carolina who wants (nay, demanded) that I go pick some up for him and ship it lol. You’ve got fans everywhere!

    4. Ashley's Thighmaster

      Speaking of pickles….Zambrano got shot in the pickle.

      1. FiestyLawyerLady

        I hope it penetrated his balls, too.

      2. Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies

        Greatest Screen Name EVER (Ashley’s Thighmaster)!

    5. Tommydan

      They should make a pickle with holes in it. Market it and call it the Zambrano. Then give all the proceeds to the Tarentino family.

    6. JessinMass

      I hope he’s got a lot of stock. Your endorsement is going to be a huge boost in sales. I’m planning on an hour drive tomorrow morning just based on your word.

    7. Tudor turtlet

      Dose stretch’s have pickled garlic. Perfect for football tailgating. Speaking of football, when dose the mass fury season start?

    8. Cindy

      Ashley’s thigh aster that was to funny, Folks I think we scared poor Giancarlo / AKA Alex away he’s not talking to us today

    9. Wtf

      Read this and stopped in wachusett in west boylston for beer and pickles. They mentioned how fast they’re selling. Obviously because of this article.

      The wasabi ones were great but the Wachusett dills were out of this world. Fantastic. Can’t wait to stock up on more!

    10. Orange Don

      All my pickles are great pickles.

      Sometimes I eat three.

      Or two.

      And they’re great pickles.

      Terrific pickles.

      That, I can tell you.

      Believe me.

      They’re great.


      Not very big pickles.

      But great.


      1. Ashley's Thighmaster

        Lol. You sound like Trump.

    11. Turtle Pleasure

      TBS needs a dedicated Travel/Leisure section. The bone ride write ups are hilarious.

    12. Sterling Turtle Rider

      Love the nod to Appletown… go in for a lotto ticket when you ge tthe pickles, they’ve been on a hot streak the past year or two!

    13. Dave

      Agreed. Larry IPA pickles are delicious. While getting the pickles, stop by Wachusett Brewery for a tour and some samples of the beer itself

    14. Sold!

      Tried the Wassabi sweets I bought from WB. Awmazing! Thx for all your hard work TBS

  • Heidi Wellman For Senate

  • arrow