Taunton Bacon Dickburger Wangsta Hippie Posts On Facebook That He Needs Spare Tire For Stolen BMW One Week After Carjacking And Robbing A Papa Gino’s
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Taunton Gazette: A Taunton man who police say embarked on a three-week crime spree in Fall River, Taunton and Easton is being held without bail pending a hearing next month in Taunton District Court. Eric James Ortiz, last known address 1 Karena Drive, apt. 14 of Country Village Estates, is facing two counts of armed robbery and one count of carjacking. Ortiz, 26, was nabbed Oct. 16 by Easton detectives at a Bellingham residence, on the same day he allegedly robbed an Easton Papa Gino’s by grabbing his pants to suggest he was carrying a gun, police said.
Fall River police had been looking for him since the evening of Sept. 27, when Ortiz allegedly carjacked a vehicle at 9 p.m. in the parking lot of the CVS store on President Avenue. Forty minutes later, police say, he robbed the Mobil gas station at 1088 County St. in Taunton by telling a clerk he was armed. The next day, police said, they located a car from in front of 6 Sumner St. in Taunton that Fall River police said belonged to the carjacking victim. That same day, Taunton police said they examined surveillance photos from the carjacking sent by Fall River police. The image of the suspect, they said, matched the description given by the victim of the Mobil station robbery. The vehicle was towed back to Fall River to be returned to its owner, police said. Fall River police shortly thereafter issued an arrest warrant for Ortiz and sent news outlets a prior booking photo of Ortiz.
It’s not his fault that Dreadlocks Sanchez keeps robbing and carjacking. He’s got that “disease”:
So nothing is ever his fault. Ever.
So this swamp donkey is apparently some sort of hippie. At least that’s what I’m led to believe by looking at his Facebook pictures:
Dude, you can’t have dreads like that and walk around Boston drinking lattes and acting hipster if you’re gonna be a junkbox, carjacking, armed robber at the same time. You can be one of those, but you can’t be both. They directly contradict one another. Especially if you’re the kind of dreadlocked chudstuffer who gets senior portrait style pictures taken of himself while deep in thought:
So his first crime spree occurred in late September when he carjacked someone in Fall River and then used that car to rob a gas station in Taunton. A couple weeks later he robs the Papa Gino’s in Easton, because everyone knows that Papa Gino’s is where all the cash is. But in between those robberies he posts this on Facebook:
Yup, he’s asking for people’s help to change a tire on a BMW that obviously he stole from someone else. Because who doesn’t have a spare tire for a BMW just lying around? Sure, he could just call Triple A or 911, but when you’re driving a stolen vehicle that’s generally frowned upon. Better to just post about it on Facebook and see if you get any takers. Wicked smart.
Here he is just a few days before, riding around with his boo, who obviously has high standards:
Like I said, pick an identity and run with it. You can’t be a laid back hippie one day
And then rock the hat of bacon dickburgers the next day:
This is what happens to what appears to be a laid back hippie when they put on a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat…..
Next thing you know they’re carjacking people in Fall River and robbing Papa Gino’s in Easton. Bad news bears.
Anyway, if any ladies out there are interested in pursuing a spicy prison love affair, here’s how you can contact Eric Ortiz going forward.