All-Star Criminals

Taunton Tickle Me No-NO! Totally Believed An 11 Year Old Girl Was 18,Wisely Defends Himself On Facebook And Pulls A Dirty Delete, Learns The Internet Is Forever

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So, it looks like somebody desperate for a child took their splooge rag and named it. This is Matthew Gray.


Evidently his hobbies include being constantly unshowered, getting shitty ink, and being 19 and engaging in gland to gland combat with 11 year olds:

No. She didn’t lie about her age, and if she did there’s no way you believed her. You let your purple hooded dragon do the thinking and you did the do with a child, bruh. Not even I, a very early bloomer who looked much older than I always was, could pass for 18 at age 11. Why is it that whenever someone gets caught fucking with a kid they always whip out the “She said she was 18” line? “She said she was 16” is much more believable. I’d love to meet the grandmother who vouches for her 11-year-old granddaughter so an adult can take her to pound town while a clean conscience, as well. That. Didn’t. Happen. EVER.  If you’re gonna lie and be a scumbag anyway, at least try to lie well. I hope this claptrap contracts every disease under the sun and lives in pain for the rest of his miserable, lonely life. Maybe while learning to lie better he could perhaps learn how to keep a low profile as all he’s been posting is this shit:

Ew. Knowing what we ALL know about this Taunton Tickle Me No-NO! , that makes this meme so gross. Personally, I feel when people share memes like that they’re obviously not getting laid. In this case, I was wrong…disgustingly wrong.

How the fuck is this scenario ever going to become a reality for you, Matt? 11 year olds barely have the dexterity to operate umbrellas, let alone the interest for holding them for grown ass men.

I can certainly understand why the kid would be all over him as he certainly fancies himself as an edgy guy:

Where there’s smoke, there’s a white boy who thinks he’s black!

Allow me to translate this Wiggaese: “You young ladies seem to take a liking to young men of nefarious ilk, but when a gentleman of good moral standing happens to fancy you,you turn them away. You must learn to appreciate these fine young gents.” Yes, ladies, do stay away from those “grimy ass n-words. Especially those who get down with 1 year olds.


He got 3 shares…2 likes…AHAHAHAHAHA! Dude, no one even low key thought about you, until you started diddling children!

This dude’s thirsty as hell, as every 19-78 year old man on earth is, but he’s so fucking pathetic no wonder the only girl he could get JUST graduated elementary school. Doesn’t that make this that much worse? That child in only going into middle school this year.

Let’s circle back to the grandma who supposed OK’d this disgusting union…First,what grandmother sees a 19-year-old kid screwing with her 11-year-old granddaughter and thinks “Seems fine to me.”? None of them. There’s no WAY this kid ever met the grandma. Secondly, even if they did meet, why would she lie for her grandkid!? There’s no way you’re forgetting your grandkid’s age by THAT much. A year or two off? Sure, but 7? No. Even if the kid was 19 herself, I can’t imagine seeing this thing walk through the door without getting shot.

So note to all parents and grandparents keep your kids far, far away from this creep and any loser that looks, acts or speaks like him. And for the love of God, stopposting shit like this, dude! You’re just digging your hole even deeper!

(Throws up a little)

Esther Manch on the book





31 Comment(s)
  • Radio Head
    August 29, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    Ed: Come om, guys, let’s go. This kid is totally not cool. [the members of the band start leaving]
    Thom: Yeah, that’s the most uncool kid I’ve ever met.

  • Wabbitt
    August 29, 2018 at 4:57 pm

    This is the shit the “love is love” crowd keeps pushing.

    Now I’m fine with gay people. But the leftist sickos trying to normalize pedophilia need to be castrated and hung upside down in the town square to be beaten.

  • Bekuta
    August 29, 2018 at 4:16 pm

    I used to work with kid; total scum bag. Not surprised he wound up doing something like this.

  • Brad Wesley
    August 28, 2018 at 11:37 pm

    What are the Vegas odds that he DOESN’T end up a complete and total waste of life for the next 65-75 years? 1000-1?

  • On the edge of...
    August 28, 2018 at 5:01 pm

    … Eleventeen.

  • Judge dread
    August 28, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    Folks, we need to bring the guiotens back to the public square.

  • Hughbo Mont
    August 28, 2018 at 1:29 pm

    He even has tittoos!

  • Free baby sitting and hugs.
    August 28, 2018 at 12:47 pm

    Into the night with VP Joe Biden, what could possibly go wrong?

  • Millenium Punk
    August 28, 2018 at 11:10 am

    The Diddler is saying on his Facebook page that he is not 18. So I guess that makes it legal? He still deserves to be tortured.

  • Chris Hansen
    August 28, 2018 at 7:45 am

    Excuse me sir, why don’t you take a seat over there? We have a lot to talk about

    • Y
      August 28, 2018 at 9:42 am

      • Judge dread
        August 28, 2018 at 1:58 pm

        The hat

  • I See Dumb People
    Fucking Disgusting ...
    August 28, 2018 at 7:08 am

    Where are this 11 year olds fucking parents … Who lets thier 11 year old daughter even have a boyfriend nevermind have sex and know what sex is … Future teen mom star right there … Fucking gross if that was my daughter I would have sent her to a convent to let the Nuns teach her what happens to whores on hell …
    Fuck when I was 11 I was still a tomboy riding quads and bikes with my dad … Apparently this child has no positive role models and should not be living woth her parents or grandmother or whoever she is with now because they are not doing thier job raising her right if they were she wouldnt be sexually actice already … Fucking Disgusting

  • Kim Un Jong
    August 28, 2018 at 6:32 am

    Jeez that picture in the polo shirt…… It’d be more believable if the 11 year old was named Spot

  • Joe Biden Approves
    August 28, 2018 at 5:59 am

    Sex with an 11 year old?? Seriously, I hope these allegations are wrong for the child’s sake. Talking about it on fb, the district attorney thanks him for that. No words for what goes on in the minds of these people.

  • Ozzy
    August 28, 2018 at 1:18 am

    The barrel of a 45 would look perfect down his throat.

  • Wwy
    August 28, 2018 at 12:37 am

    Like that kike Kraft his girl is 12.

  • Rope
    August 27, 2018 at 11:57 pm

    In his defense, he does look like he’s 11.
    Just kidding, neck this fuck.

  • Fringe
    August 27, 2018 at 10:41 pm

    Be a damned shame if somebody dropped him from the second floor of the Silver City Galleria.

    That mall is dying. Might as well let those who deserve it, join it.

  • ncfootthillbilly
    August 27, 2018 at 10:37 pm

    This dude will be abused like a rag doll amongst puppies when he gets to the hoosegow.

  • Y
    August 27, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    A lot of pedo shit going on lately.
    Fuck, America’s going down the shittahhh

    • Cleon Skousen
      August 28, 2018 at 12:24 am

      Communist subversion via the political left aka democrats aka progressives… Different names, same objective.

      Don’t forget to vote all RED September 4th, 2018

      TRUMP 2020

  • Aiesha from the Quran
    August 27, 2018 at 9:01 pm

    So the guy is into milfs. To each their own.

  • Maggie the Cat
    August 27, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    There’s nothing more pitiful than a skinny loser white guy trying to act black.

  • ElJefe72
    August 27, 2018 at 8:43 pm

    Rumor has it that Meg Britton is his mom. 

  • Haverhill Landlord
    Haverhill Landlord
    August 27, 2018 at 8:41 pm

    But seriously, folks: who *hasn’t* screwed an 11 year old by mistake?

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    August 27, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    So when is his arraignment?

  • Clitty Litter
    August 27, 2018 at 7:57 pm

    To be honest, the 11 year old girl may have overpowered him.
    I was wondering what those pieces off string hanging off his shoulders were for, then I realized they were his arms.

    Fucking skinner.

    • Y
      August 27, 2018 at 9:05 pm

      He thought he had a pube, til he pissed out of it

  • swagger
    August 27, 2018 at 7:55 pm

    “…what grandmother sees a 19-year-old kid screwing with her 11-year-old granddaughter and thinks “Seems fine to me.”?

    Do you mean besides the ‘photographer’ featured on TB a couple of days ago?

  • swagger
    August 27, 2018 at 7:52 pm

    Dude is GAF.

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