Facebook Turtleboy Investigates

Tech Gods Exposes Libertarians As Idiots By Banning Parler Even Though Not One Rioter Used The App But They All Used Facebook, Twitter, And Instagram


“Just use a different social media app.”

“Build your own social media company.”

“Twitter and Facebook are private companies.”

“It’s not a First Amendment violation if the government isn’t censoring you.”

These are things libertarians, boomer conservatives, and “liberals” have told me after getting having over 50 Facebook pages removed (one with 112K followers), multiple Twitter accounts suspended (before finally being permanently suspended), and getting banned by Google Adsense and PayPal. As you know if you’ve followed Turtleboy, we’ve been getting censored by social media companies since before it was cool. I even wrote a book about the effects that this would have on our elections and democracy in general, since social media has become the de facto town square, the center of political discussion, and the platform on which the media and politicians make announcements.

Nobody cared at the time because people figured it would never happen to them. We use words fupasloth, and beaver bumper, but they’d never come for people just because of their political opinions.

Now Donald Trump is banned form Twitter and Facebook for allegedly using the platforms to incite the Capitol riots. Classical liberals would cringe after hearing this news, as free speech is one of the fundamental beliefs of liberals. The ACLU and German Chancellor Angela Merkel are both extremely liberal and not fans of President Trump, but have both spoken out and warned about the dangers of allowing the Tech Gods to decide who can and cannot speak on the Internet.

“Twitter and Facebook are private companies. It’s not a First Amendment violation if the government isn’t censoring you.”

Yes, they are. But they never should’ve been allowed to grow to the point where they essentially own the public square and decide who gets to speak in it.

But what if the government itself forced Twitter and Facebook to silence the President? Oh wait, that happened.

If Twitter is working on behalf of the federal government then they are the federal government. There’s a reason Kamala Harris ran on a platform of kicking Trump off Twitter – they know it’s an effective way for him to reach followers.

When you see “national security” being used as a way to silence people you should be very worried, and it should alarm liberals. This is the same sort of nonsense that was used to curtail civil liberties after 9/11 with passage of the Patriot Act. It’s OK to spy on you, ban you from flying, and seize your bank accounts if they suspect you’re involved with terrorist groups. They don’t need any proof because it’s better safe than sorry. If you have an issue with that then you’re pro-terrorist. The riot at the Capitol is the new 9/11 and will be used to increase the power of the government and limit the civil liberties of innocent people.

But people like Trump who have been banned by Twitter and Facebook can just use another platform, or build their own social media company right? Well, up until recently there hasn’t been any competitors, because you cannot compete with a monopoly. However, the rapid growth of Parler has given people hope, as they don’t restrict speech nearly as much, and it has become a sort of ghetto and echo chamber for right wingers.

The problem is they put you in ghettos because they plan on liquidating them. The media has been selectively choosing random posts on Parler from people of no significance, vowing to commit violence. The angle is clear – Parler is a threat to national security. It’s not that they don’t want you to speak on Twitter and Facebook, it’s that they don’t want you to speak at all.

The problem for the Tech Gods is that Parler is going because people like free speech, it’s growing rapidly, and they can’t stop people from joining. However, since 99% of downloaded phone apps come from Apple and Google Play, and since 80% of all Internet traffic takes place on phones, it means that Apple and Google can severely hinder the grown of Parler if they removed the apps from their store. Parler was the most downloaded app last week.

This prompted many elected official, including AOC and her 11 million Twitter followers, to demand that these private monopolies (Google and Apple) remove Parler from their stores.

The next day, fearing her power, both companies agreed to remove the Parler app from their stores.

If the government is compelling private companies to silence speech, then it should be a First Amendment violation.

But Parler still existed if you already had the app. If not you could use a web browser like the old days. My account with 3,700 followers remained up even after the removal. This angers the censorship crowd because they want you to be silenced completely. So the next step was to pressure the monopoly that hosts Parler and allows them to be on the Internet – Amazon.

Now with the click of a button Parler is just gone. They did everything libertarians told them to do – start their own platform and build their own app. But what libertarians failed to realize is that the people who make the apps and host the websites are also monopolists, and they all think the same way and have the same goals – get right wingers off the Internet. Use “safety,” “national security,” and “preventing violence,” as reasoning why.

The Capitol riots were the best thing that ever happened to the Tech Gods. The argument is that Parler is responsible for the Capitol riots because they didn’t kick off enough people, and those people eventually invaded the Capitol.

But Parler is just a platform. They don’t publish or editorialize, even if they occasionally remove content. They just exist and are used as a way to communicate, much like Gmail and Verizon.

Nevertheless it’s their fault, or so the media has told us. So I decided to take a look at the 80 or so people arrested thus far for rioting, and not a single one of them posted about it on Parler. Not one. Most of them actually used Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, none of which were pulled from the app store or Google Play, and none of which had their hosting privileged revoked by Amazon. Let’s meet the rioters and look at which platforms they used to plot insurrection.

Richard Barnett, Arkansas.



Paul Davis, Attorney Texas.


















Rick Saccone, former congressional candidate Pennsylvania.



Adam Johnson, Florida.



Doug Jensen, Iowa.



West Virginia State Rep Derrick Evans.




Nick Ochs, Hawaii.



Kristina Malimon, Oregon.


On Wednesday, Malimon posted footage on her Instagram story of President Donald Trump and his family speaking on a stage, including Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump. As the President took the stage, she shared a story with the caption “Our BEST president WILL be in office for four more years!”

Ahead of the riots, Malimon shared encouragement with her more than 25,000 followers on Instagram to join her in protest in the nation’s capitol as the Electoral College gathered to certify Biden’s win.

“We must fight for our BEST President @realdonaldtrump,” Malimon wrote Tuesday on Instagram with a promotional image, along with untrue allegations about the election. “They cheated, but the cheaters were CAUGHT! God is with us, they will NOT have success! Join us in Washington DC Jan 6th!” she continued.



Zandra Sixkiller-Cramer, Maryland.

Twitter and Facebook.


Tim Gionet, AKA Baked Alaska, Alaska.



Jenny Cudd, Texas.

“Jenny Cudd posted videos to Facebook. The newspaper also reported Cudd said: “When (Vice President) Pence betrayed us is when we decided to storm the Capitol.”


David Fitzgerald, Illinois.


In a video posted by Fitzgerald to his Facebook page just before his arrest, he and others ask officers clad in riot gear where they could exit a barricaded area. In comments to friends who were watching live, Fitzgerald writes, “I’m under arrest,” and “Tell my wife.”


Cindy Fitchett, Illinois.



Chad Burmeister, Colorado.


But according to Facebook CEO Sheryl Sandberg, it’s Parler that should be banned for their inability to “stop hate,” and foment insurrection, because they don’t have Facebook’s abilities.

She’s right about one thing – Facebook has way more money to hire people specifically to ban users from the platform. But what she’s saying is that companies that aren’t billion dollar monopolies like her shouldn’t be allowed to exist. It’s a great way to prevent any sort of competitor from ever growing, since they’ll never have the content moderation staff that Facebook has.

But of course we know from experience Facebook’s content moderation is a joke. ProPublica did a study that revealed that nearly half of reported posts that violate Facebook’s community standards are NOT removed from the platform because they make so many mistakes. The Guardian conducted a study and found that 91% of Facebook pages that exploit children were allowed to stay up after being reported. The Chirstchurch shooter was allowed to live stream his massacre for 17 minutes.

Meanwhile we’ve been taken down for these.



So my question is, when will congress demand that Facebook and Twitter be removed from the app store? When will Amazon take away their hosting privileges? Facebook and Twitter are the restaurants that discriminate against you, Google and Apple are the roads you take to get there, and Amazon is the Board of Health that decides when those restaurants must be closed. Together they conspired together to silence the most powerful person in the world, and now they’re gonna do it to millions of other people. When we allow 5 tech monopolies to decide who can say whaat in the public square in the name of “safety,” we are no longer living in a democracy.

P.S. The same leaders pearl clutching about “insurrection” and “undermining democracy,” because 7 Senators pointlessly objected to the electoral college certification, did the same exact thing 4 years ago, including my congressman Jim McGovern. But it’s not insurrection when they do it.



Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 



52 Comment(s)
  • Turtleboisquirts
    January 23, 2021 at 9:05 pm


    “Didn’t use Parler”?

    This website is fahkin retahded

  • Betty Ford
    January 17, 2021 at 11:00 am

    For all the common sense usually posted on this board, you’re all still talking like we’re a democratic Republic.

    We’re a Communist dictatorship. None of this is “coming”. Its been coming in earnest for 30 years ever since the removal of the Berlin Wall. Make no mistake its a two party result, though one can argue the amount of fault assigned to each side. And frankly we’ve all let it happen. The only question left is whether it will be Stalinist Russia or 80s East Germany. Both suck.

    Spend energy on solving your situation.

  • John Galt
    January 13, 2021 at 5:24 am

    I wondered what was up with these illiterate, disjointed and rambling “headlines” and posts. Then it was clear the other day when you proclaimed Trump 100% responsible for the Capitol breach: you’re typing with one hand while the other is raised with a finger trying to divine the wind direction.

    Trump made NO incendiary comments prior to that. If he had they’d be playing on a 24/7 loop on every station. But you know that. ANd that’s worse then being a civically irresponsibly low-info voter.

    I can hear you whining before some “Truth Commission” :
    “I SAID it was Trump’s fault! I’m on YOUR side!!!”

    Screw off.

  • Frank
    January 13, 2021 at 5:13 am

    Not sure how any freedom loving American can have Twitter or Facebook

  • Stanley steamer
    January 12, 2021 at 8:52 pm

    Anyone who takes this vaccine is an asshole

    Covid has mild symptoms unless your morbidly obese or dying of AIDS

    Hoping Fauci comes down with Covid and it’s fatal for the little greaseball

    • ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      January 12, 2021 at 10:40 pm

      Thank you for giving up your share.
      BTW, Enjoy your dirt nap!

  • Spanish fly
    January 12, 2021 at 8:24 pm

    The liberal turds want to open the borders to illegal scum and make it legal for n!ggers to commit any crime they want
    At the same time that want to collect the white mans guns so he can’t open fire on these filthy subhumans

    I think they can fuck off

  • Hillbilly Effingme
    January 12, 2021 at 6:48 pm

    Joe Manchin is interesting. His family made money brokering coal. His uncle was a well-known light in the loafers Secretary of State. His daughter was hired in an entry-level job at a local pharmaceutical plant, Milan, which was the best company in Northern West Virginia. She used a connection to fake a Masters Degree and rose to CEO based on Dads connections. The Pittsburgh Post revealed the degree scam. She skated. Congress pulled her in over charging every school and daycare $600 for an epipen that cost like 85 cents to make. She brokered a deal to merge Mylan with Pfizer and now the fifty-year old plant is shuttering and the company is no more. She made around 80 million dollars or so in the past decade, and is now set.
    AOC hates Manchin. I wish a Trump would move here and knock him off.

  • Who really believes there weren't hijinks with the mail-in ballots?
    January 12, 2021 at 5:55 pm

    2000 = Bush stole the election
    2004 = Bush stole that election, too
    2016 = Trump stole the election (with help from Russia)

    So, the last three elections won by a Republican were all supposedly stolen. But in 2020, when it’s a Democrat who won an election carried out for the first time ever through 160 million postcards, everything is pristine, 100% squeaky clean, absolutely nothing to see here. And people are wondering why this thing happened at the Capitol Building?

    • Slick Willy
      January 12, 2021 at 10:46 pm

      Your forgot
      2020 Biden takes election (with help from Trump)

  • Shocked
    January 12, 2021 at 5:12 pm

    First time Americans fought for their country since 1941.

  • Turtleboy Sports glass house hypocrite
    January 12, 2021 at 5:02 pm

    Turtleboy sports always blaming other pps but he is the most guilty. When turdboy gets deplatformed from everywhere no sympathy its cuz you brougnt it on yourself you psycho ratchet.

  • Ed 209
    January 12, 2021 at 3:25 pm

    We’re going to go back to scribbling on the bathroom walls of Herlihy’s bar as we did in the old days. Oh wait, Democrats have closed Herlihy’s until further notice.

  • Grief Councilors Wiil Be Available After Class
    January 12, 2021 at 3:07 pm

    My post on internet today

    The 3 branches of government are what class?
    Facebook, Amazon and Twitter
    Thats right, class good job.

    I will have the Trump conspiacy theorist who said Judicial, Executive and Legislative removed from the class for insurrection. I will see to it that he is on permanent suspension.

    • Uncle hitler
      January 12, 2021 at 3:19 pm

      They’re all Jewish owned like America. I was right.

  • Boe Jiden
    Here's the problem....
    January 12, 2021 at 2:40 pm

    One is looking down the barrel of loaded censorship gun. What one sees is a slim majority trying to control the voice of a large minority. The liberals and monopolized, omnipresent social tech companies supporting silencing a great segment of the population is deeply troubling. If the hardest shelled liberal can not face this fact then all is lost.
    To support such egregious silencing is a threat to all freedoms.
    These narcissistic power hungry people are merely using raw emotionality as a substitute for reason and logic and are using this emotionality in an attempt to control others. Such emotionality begets more emotionality. As basic rights are removed it will fuel more violence, riots, and destruction.
    This is merely the pendulum swinging back at those who are attempting to control that which they can not.
    There are far too many overly sensitive people in positions of power attempting to rule the a large minority. All of what one is witnessing is a reaction formation where the “sensitive” leaders are in fact “grossly insensitive” by their own actions in order to suit their own personal self interests.
    These censors have truly gone from the “feeling police” to the “language police”
    right into the “thought police”.
    This should be viewed as inherently dangerous to any citizen of The United States. For it is the beginning of the “Superiority” police.

  • Sleepy
    January 12, 2021 at 2:32 pm

    Antifa and BLM get a free pass. These idiots should have covered their faces. How many lost their job?

  • Trump Lost
    January 12, 2021 at 2:15 pm

    Look at all of these stupid fucking white people. You’re losing your country, your identities and your minds. Once we take your guns, it’s all over. And spare me the fake tough guy “come and take it” act – you’re either elderly or weak in the shoulders and no one is scared of you. Time’s up, devils!

    • Guarantee you are white
      January 12, 2021 at 2:40 pm

      And a virgin too

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      January 12, 2021 at 2:59 pm

      Do tell how they are”coming to get them”. No one is voluntarily giving up there weapons plain and simple. If you and your hoodrat criminals friends can obtain black market weapons so can everyone else. You are delusional if you think the populace will be unarmed.

    • Not Enough Whites To Support Third World Invasion
      January 12, 2021 at 3:10 pm

      N$gger you are bottom of the barrel always and you will still be bottom of the barrel when socialism is imposed.

      • Trump Lost
        January 12, 2021 at 4:32 pm

        Call me that shit all you want, you don’t have anything but outdated small words… and it won’t stop your daughters from calling me “daddy” while taking the 11”.
        Guess who’s coming to dinner in 2021?

        • Eyes on the White Prize
          January 12, 2021 at 4:50 pm

          The ultimate n$gger fantasy.
          The white girl is the prize because black gorilla girls be fugly. Keep dreaming about what you will never get you food stamp window shopping felonious uncivilized ape.

          • Trump Lost
            January 12, 2021 at 5:13 pm

            Haha, look at how mad you are. Did I hit a sore spot? Your bitch or someone in your family is definitely fucking a black dude. Bet.
            By the way, Miss 6 O’Clock and her pancake ass has nothing on black women. We only fuck the cave bitches to give you whiteys a heart attack.

          • Boi Dobe DayDream Much
            January 12, 2021 at 5:36 pm

            Look at how unhinged you are n$gger. I know I know we waz kings and sheet. You got the sheet part right n#gger.
            I have the choice to limit the amount of chimps that I am exposed to. Civilized people have a tendency to avoid primates.
            Enjoy your masturbatory white girl fantasy as you go home to your 300lb gorilla.
            Wishing it wont make it so but you xan keep dreaming ape.
            It must have been tough when yo momma was suckin off all cummers for a hit of dat rock.
            Dam n$g you cold trippin to da mutha zone

          • Trump Lost
            January 12, 2021 at 5:59 pm

            Haha, so mad. We’re taking over, bro – sports, music, entertainment, politics… your kind is facing extinction and there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it except rage in the comments of a shitty blog.

          • Maff Made Simple Boi
            January 12, 2021 at 6:31 pm

            Rage that funny .
            You wet your panties after a peaceful Capitol protest.
            Just imagine what you would do if white Patriots chimp out like you monkies were allowed to dio this year.
            Not really worried about the game of attrition with you nogs as more nogs are aborted each year than born(I am appluding)
            More nogs are incacerated than any race. Nog on nog crime is high because you know you suck, crack deaths obesity deaths nogs rule.

          • Taking over
            January 12, 2021 at 6:44 pm

            If you’re “taking over” why does BLM complain endlessly about inequality? That’s loser talk. That’s the whine of someone who can’t cut it and blames society. Anyway bub demographics ain’t on your side. And Mexicans aren’t fond of you.

        • Greushow
          January 12, 2021 at 8:33 pm

          I don’t blame you filthy apes for wanting white women

          I wouldn’t want to be fucking those black baboons myself boy

        • Rehoboth
          January 12, 2021 at 8:36 pm

          Everyone knows you’re not black
          You can stop the charade

          You can read a write a little bit

          So we know you’re not a n!gger

    • NEwarlord
      January 13, 2021 at 10:25 am

      The come and take it part. If the order was put out… How many police, feds, army, navy, marines and the like will enforce it??? Do a simple numbers game. Guns and people. Big gov has their work cut out for them. When the bodies start piling up and no one refills the ranks what do you do then? If you think you’ll be safe if it all goes sideways you’re wrong… My teams are welcoming anyone of any color, because at days end if you think that being a one race show is going to get you anywhere. You’re quite wrong. Have at it though. I don’t speak for anyone here but myself.

  • Judge dread
    January 12, 2021 at 1:58 pm

    ACLU = American Communist Lawyers Union.

    Uncle, they are coming for you next, make sure you have a disaster recovery plan in place in the event your hosting provider and/or Cloudflare 86’s you.

  • Elegant Elliot Offen
    January 12, 2021 at 1:52 pm

    Kristina Malimon has calves almost as nice as the Elegant one. Riiight?!?!

  • BucketNutz
    Spot On
    January 12, 2021 at 1:43 pm

    The CEOs of these 5 should be in custody, answering to RICO, Anti-trust & Civil Rights violations they face lengthy jail sentences for.

  • randiguy2006
    Liz Warren
    January 12, 2021 at 1:41 pm

    So break up Big Tech?

    Where have I heard this before?

  • The logical Libertarian
    January 12, 2021 at 1:40 pm

    This may be one of the most important blogs you’ve written. Spot on in every instance. I used to be one of those people who said “Facebook and Twitter” are private companies. But a couple years ago after reading countless blogs by TB, I started to think he was right and that Facebook was the public square. The events of the past year have convinced me of it. The 1st amendment is in serious trouble. And so is the future of America.

  • FYI Here are the only comments Trump made about the Captiol in his speech, and was deemed dangerous by twitter facebook and youtube
    January 12, 2021 at 1:38 pm

    “We’re going to walk down… We’re going walk down to the Capitol, and we’re going to cheer on our brave senators, and congressmen and women… We’re probably not going to be cheering so much for some of them **laughter** because you’ll never take back our country with weakness. You have to show strength, and you have to be strong.”

    “I know that everyone here will soon be marching over to the Capitol building to peacefully and patriotically make your voices heard!”

    • Jesus Christ you trumpers are deslusional
      January 12, 2021 at 2:46 pm

      Thats not true at all. He literally told them to “march down to the capitol and take over”, to “give them hell and destroy stuff”. Then as he was watching the live feed with his family said “Guys are fighting, but it’s incredible” there is ACTUAL VIDEO of him saying these things and yet here you are still spouting those lies lol.

      • you're a fucking retard
        January 12, 2021 at 4:00 pm

        those quotes are unedited, directly taken from the transcript. its even on CNNs web page lol

      • Whitney
        January 12, 2021 at 4:52 pm

        Crack is whack and dis fool is on crack

      • Carlo Tempesta
        January 12, 2021 at 8:46 pm

        Actually your mother is into the rough stuff there tuff guy

        Last night she really worked my asshole over hard with her tongue before she sucked me off

  • randiguy2006
    January 12, 2021 at 1:37 pm

    So you believe we need more government control over private companies I guess.

    So they don’t get too big.

    • BucketNutz
      No new regulation needed
      January 12, 2021 at 1:48 pm

      Simply answer to existing laws.
      Think RICO, Antitrust, Civil Rights, etc.
      You know something is REALLY bad when the ACLU has to step up for anything to the right of Stalin.

  • TB is a Liberal
    January 12, 2021 at 1:32 pm

    Repeat after me:

    If you want more government regulation, you are a liberal.
    If you support government interference in private business, you are a liberal.
    If you complain about monopolies, you are a liberal.
    If you support the ACLU, you are a liberal.
    If you want to break up Big Tech, an idea originally proposed by Elizabeth Warren, you are a liberal.

    • Trump Lost
      January 12, 2021 at 2:18 pm

      Of course he is. Like Trump, TB appeals to the trashiest, least educated, lowest common denominator and that’s how both make their money. You’re a bunch of narrow minded suckers, but thankfully, your kind is going extinct. Learn Spanish!

      • Frank
        January 12, 2021 at 3:22 pm

        Haha – I think everyone’s gonna be just fine buddy, white or otherwise. And English is already the official language of the world, so we’ll all be fine with English. No need to learn espanol amigo. But learning and speaking different languages is a great idea, by all means, go for it.

  • Just Saying
    January 12, 2021 at 1:21 pm

    The conservatives must have a legitimate case if they are being silenced. You don’t silence someone who is an idiot or fool. No need to. You silence the people who have legitimacy and truth for fear of being exposed.

  • WeRFucked
    January 12, 2021 at 1:15 pm


    • WeRFucked
      January 12, 2021 at 2:33 pm

      Asshole. Fuck you. You weren’t even close to first.

      I jerk-off on your mothers ugly face. She’s a cunt.

      • WeRFucked
        January 12, 2021 at 2:49 pm

        Nice try fake me

  • Did You Know?
    January 12, 2021 at 1:09 pm

    You can always trust the Government. Just ask the Native Americans

    • bigdaddy
      Liz Warren
      January 12, 2021 at 1:44 pm

      I disagree the government has been very good to me I am now a millionaire

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