All-Star Criminals

Teenage Tonsil Tickler Wanted For Sending Noodz To 14 Year Old She Was Banging Is A Ratchet Gold Mine Who Says She’s Stressed Out By “Boys”  



Wait till you meet this Manchester ratchet….

So this chick has apparently taken down her Facebook page, but when it was up it was quite the show. Here she is showing off her “2017 vibes.”

In jail of course. She’s an expert at jail on. Especially on Halloween.

If you post about the conditions of women’s detention centers in Massachusetts on your Facebook page, and other people chime in about their experience there…

You know you’ve gone full ratchet.

She’s killing it in school.

And she’s really stressed out from boys.

She means that in the literal sense. Literally boys. Fourteen year old boys. If only the haters from back in the day could see her now.

She’s killing the game!!

Don’t leave any of your perverted or creepy comments on her page though.

Ya know, creepy stuff like sending noodz to a 14 year old who’s giving you the stuffed crust.

Guess who her favorite sportball team is?

Now if only she could find a guy old enough to drive that car, she’d be good to go.

Meanwhile, here’s screenshots from a recent video she posted with what appears to be a kid who looks to be no older than 14 tossing up gang signs and smoking a blunt with her.


And she’s got Google trophies galore, which would probably explain why she trick or treats in jail.


n July

, she was indicted on two counts of assault by prisoner after a May incident at the Carroll County House of Corrections in Ossipee. She was living in Manchester at the time and was accused of choking and kicking a woman, causing a broken rib, according to the Salmon Press.

In December of last year, she was arrested in Londonderry on burglary, criminal trespass, theft; from a motor vehicle, disorderly conduct, and criminal mischief-vandalism, according to the Derry News. At the time, she was living in Londonderry, according to police. Nashua police also arrested her on capias, out of town, and nonappearance in court warrants on the same day.

Krizan was arrested in Michigan in April 2018 on drug possession, disorderly, and fighting charges after an incident in Eastpointe. She was arrested on sixth-degree larceny, criminal impersonation, and interfering with an officer in May 2017, according to The Day newspaper, at the Foxwoods casino. In August 2016, she was arrested on a bench warrant after a disturbance at the Londonderry state liquor and wine outlet. She was also arrested on shoplifting and false report to law enforcement that month after an incident in Seabrook, according to the Newburyport News, which had her residing in Nashua at the time.

The Nashua Telegraph reported in June 2010 that she was arrested in Hollis at 17 on facilitating an underage alcohol house party and unsworn falsification for allegedly providing false information about her identity. In a Facebook live post from Nov. 21, while applying makeup, Krizan stated that her probation officer informed her that she was no longer on probation and could “go anywhere.”

“I am free,” she stated.

Her Facebook profile stated she currently lives in Ipswich, Massachusetts, attended MIT, and is originally from the Czech Republic.

This is one of the great ratchets of our time. I’d love to get her on the Live show while she was still on the run (still on my bucket list) but homegirl’s took down her Facebook page so that looks like a no-go.

I’m just surprised she felt the need to go after a 14 year old. She’s been in jail. Isn’t she thirsty for some mutton dagger when she gets out? Granted she looks like a peanut butter and AIDS sandwich, but she really couldn’t find someone old enough to vote who could toss her a pity lay? Nah, this chick doesn’t give a shit. That’s why she kicks bitches in the ribs in jail and causes scenes at Londonderry liquor stores, which attracts the police and isn’t the smartest thing to do if you know you have warrants.



Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 

30 Comment(s)
  • bravo on the comments fella's
    December 5, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    little late to the game on this one…
    but fuck….some of you had me in stitches…
    one of the best comment sections on TB…

  • Not Bob
    December 2, 2019 at 5:36 am

    Look up “Hailey Rosschild” on Facebook. She changed the name.

  • WeRFucked
    November 30, 2019 at 1:22 pm

    Am I the only one who fapped to her mug shot?


  • Ray Ray
    November 29, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    I woulda thought Tyrone would be the victim here. Quite surprised to see Daniel be the actual vic.

  • Butterflies covering up scabs
    November 29, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    I live to compare the filter photos to the real mugshot photos. Those filters try to tell lies to my eyes. The mugshot is the truth.

  • Old Tom Morris
    November 29, 2019 at 2:01 pm

    Lucky kid was getting his dick sucked at 14. But I guess he turned into a little pussy and told on her. What a fag. Reminds me of Bret’s story, how he used to bang an older woman, then after she told him to fuck off the ran to the cops and ratted her out. He then said they put him in a mental institution. HAhahahahahh! What a fucking faggot!

  • The Doctor
    November 29, 2019 at 9:34 am

    Judging by her mugshot, with the scabs, premature wrinkles, meth teeth; I give her 5 years to live, at most.

  • Frequent Flyer
    November 29, 2019 at 2:53 am

    I never considered Yelp reviews on lockups. But, yeah, she could totally rate the service, food, mattresses, conditions etc., not that much choice is possible.

  • ChipChipperson
    November 29, 2019 at 1:45 am

    “This is what being stressed about a boy looks like” [picture with dull, illiterate facial expression]

    I have a feeling sugar tits is stressed often

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 28, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    If I wasn’t certain this skank has AIDs, id pound her out and then treat her like a punching bag

  • thanksgivingsux
    November 28, 2019 at 8:40 pm

    Said nobody ever. Coincidentally suicide is sky high on Turkey day.
    EDIT: Said a few people ever.

  • Diseased pig
    November 28, 2019 at 7:40 pm

    One word AIDS

  • Judge dread
    November 28, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    Typical ratchets trolling around parking lots looking for cars to sit on and pose. I bet she told the BMW driver (lights were on) can I get a quick shot while I sit on your 9 year old 7 series hood? The part they left out was when the driver hit it in reverse and she fell off and he drove away.

    Ideal world:
    All her ratchet meth dealers would be like fuck u, then the bmw goes into reverse, drives back, dude gets out, takes off his suit jacket, and beats the fucking shit out of all involved with the garden hose he just bought the day before. He Gets back into the car and goes to the business meeting.

  • Walter Bird
    November 28, 2019 at 6:56 pm


  • Hepatitis Hoagie
    November 28, 2019 at 6:13 pm

    Good stuff. The guy Tyler that is tagged in her post is a poker dealer at the casino in Everett.

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    November 28, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    I went to Prague a few years ago and the place was full of first rate tail. Hailey, not so much. She could be halfway decent if she cleaner herself up and had the world’s biggest injection of penicillin.

    I’ll bet at one point, maybe 7 or 8 years ago, she was an early Crack Feen Barbie and blew it with bad decisions.

    Please don’t let her ruin your impression of the abundant, magnificent Czech talent pool.

    Social Media is Cancer

    • AngryWhiteDad
      November 28, 2019 at 8:19 pm

      This is spot on. Prague does have the cream of the crop of gorgeous, available and affordable ass. Best part is that they don’t care if you raw dog them.

      As for this prime piece of trash, I would raw dog that ass and lick the hiv sores out of her taint. I love bad bitches. The more ratchet the better. Gets me harder than anything, especially while spinning clouds.

  • Natasha
    November 28, 2019 at 4:01 pm

    Definitely an MIT graduate for sure.

  • Lord Gort
    November 28, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    I’d drop a few dollops on her face, from a few feet away. That’s as close as I get to this skag.
    How far can fleas jump?
    I might have to reconsider….

  • Uncle diddler TB
    November 28, 2019 at 1:35 pm

    TB should not be a teacher they made the right decision he’s a sick fuck.

    • Inquiring Minds
      November 28, 2019 at 3:52 pm

      Which story was about you?

  • Kosh Naranek
    November 28, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    Poster child for poor lifestyle choices.

    If a tittoo isn’t a warning sign, a throat tattoo IS.

  • Alladen
    November 28, 2019 at 12:33 pm

    Somebody should tell her to scrape the shit off her tongue before she gets her picture taken

  • Cheesemo
    November 28, 2019 at 12:30 pm

    If you look up rim job in the dictionary her picture would be there

  • Microphone Czech
    November 28, 2019 at 11:46 am

  • Richyrich
    November 28, 2019 at 11:45 am

    She’s a hot mess, but I would have been psyched at age 14 to be hopping on the pooty

  • JoeMomma
    November 28, 2019 at 11:12 am

    Her nudes count as bestiality……what a dog.

  • Dick Scratcher
    November 28, 2019 at 11:08 am

    I’d give her a sympathy throw-down, on the condition that my entire body was coated with at least 10mm of latex protection.

    • Paddydoyle
      November 28, 2019 at 11:21 am

      I’d also hit it after 8-10 Heinekens and a shot of Jameson but I would absolutely NOT forget to wrap my son up before sending him in! The self shame I would feel in the morning would not was away no matter how hot or long the shower….. only time will heal, it would take 3-5 business days to forget what I had done

    • Gregg Bigda
      November 28, 2019 at 4:53 pm

      What the hell is it with this state? Never did I think in Texas that I would find a state of the UNITED STATES that is a cross between Italy and Zimbabwe. WTF!

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?