This is Dennis Cormier from Dracut.
As you can see, he likes getting dressed up like famous historical figures and doing re-enactments for your crotch fruits. Except there’s just one problem – he also likes his Fireball.
In fairness, what do you think they were doing at Valley Forge to keep warm? My man really wanted to give the kids a taste of what revolutionary times were like so he got white girl wasted and was ready to talk about killing some redcoats when a nosy teacher who couldn’t mind their own Goddamn business had to play hero.
Seriously though, what a moron. How you gonna let the teachers come to your car to help you when you know you’ve got a bunch of open Keystone Lights? And when the cops got there things got more hilarious:
When Neeley asked Cormier if he had anything to drink, Cormier told him he only had coffee, according to a police report. Neeley then observed Comier put his hand into the right pocket of his vest, the report states. When the officer asked him to remove his hand, Neeley reached into the pocket and retrieved an empty nip of Sea Ice vodka. Cormier consented to a breathalyzer test and blew 0.205%, police said, and his eyes were “glassy and bloodshot.” A fifth of liquor and a tall Budweiser can were in plain view in Cormier’s car, Riter said.
They confiscated his guns too!!
The Boxford Department of Public Works assisted with removing Cormier’s war-related items, including a musket and other military relics, Riter said.
Fuck you England!
It gets better….
Arraigned before Judge Allen Swan at Haverhill District Court, Cormier — still wearing the majority of his re-enactment costume — was released on his own recognizance. He was ordered to submit to daily alcohol screenings and wear a SCRAM alcohol monitoring device while his case is pending.
Yes, thats right – he wore his war reenactment uniform in court. Sadly in Haverhill that was the least shocking outfit warn to court that day.
I’ll give this guy one thing to his credit – he is a model drunk.
Following his arraignment, Cormier was transported back to the Boxford police station because he was still drunk, Riter said. He remained at the station until 3 p.m. and took an Uber back home.
“He was a gentleman the whole time,” Riter said. “It’s an unfortunate situation. I hope he works it out and gets the help he needs.”
Of course he was a gentlemen. My man here is in the Continental Army, not some militia.
Seriously though, I hope this guy gets the help he needs. He has no criminal record and has been doing these reenactments for years now, and by the looks of it kids really enjoy it. Just take it easy on the Fireball George Washington.
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