All-Star Criminals

That Face You Make When You Get Busted Stealing Christmas Packages From People’s Porches And It Takes Five Cops And A Taser To Take You Down

The Christmas ratchets are out of control this year.

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Here’s your ratchet of the day from the town of Whitman…..

SourcePolice say a Whitman woman stole more than 60 packages from front door steps of homes in Hanson, Whitman and Abington. Kathy Lyden, 43, was arrested Monday and was arraigned in Brockton District Court Tuesday morning. She faces charges of theft, resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer, according to WCVB. She was ordered held without bail. Police say the packages have a value of about $2,800 and that Lyden said she was desperate to provide Christmas gifts for her four children.

Police told WHDH that they tracked Lyden to her truck after a neighbor watched the vehicle pull into his driveway and saw Lyden come out to take a package from the doorsteps. About 15 minutes later, the neighbor saw the truck parked at another house, with Lyden allegedly taking another package. The neighbor took a photo of the truck and gave it to police. After Lyden was located, she allegedly resisted arrested and police needed five officers and the use of a Taser to take her into custody.

It takes a real winner to steal packages from people at Christmas. Heroin must be like, the greatest thing in the world. Because the shit it gets people to do, I wouldn’t do those things for an unlimited guest pass to the punani parlor. I mean, it took five freaking cops and a taser to take this chick down. That’s how badly this slopbucket wanted her next fix. Sad.

The best part is her excuse: Defense attorney Sean O’Brien told the judge Lyden did not believe she was stealing from the package recipients. “Her thinking at the time was that these packages were all insured and they’d be replaced, and that she wasn’t in essence stealing from residents, but from a manufacturer,” O’Brien said.

Was I not supposed to do that? Because I thought it was just kind of a free for all out in these streets. Everything is free, even if it doesn’t belong to us, because it’s all insured. I’m sure if on Christmas morning I explained to the Turtleboy family that there’s nothing under the tree, but it’s all good because we have an insurance check coming in the mail, that would be a Christmas to remember for Turtleboy Jr. Definitely.

Oh yea, and if this woman has four kids:



I certainly hope they’re all adults, because it means she’s probably menopausal. Because the scariest part about this is the prospect of her reproducing again.



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13 Comment(s)
  • Strata
    December 24, 2016 at 6:47 am

    I hate when the media reports her obvious lie that she did it for kids gifts. FN media

  • Wabbitt
    December 23, 2016 at 6:01 pm

    Four kids.

    I wonder how many baby daddies…

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      December 23, 2016 at 6:52 pm

      Minimum of 3, definitely 4.

  • Fatfingr Lou
    December 23, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    I have no problem with helping her and people in similar situations. There are a lot of roads (Ahem, Rte 31) and bridges needing repair, trash needing collection along the highways and in the public parks, street sweeping, snow shoveling, general public clean-up and maintenance.

    Get clean, 3 squares and a cot, some physical fitness and remedial social training. Maybe the transitional job training promised to veterans can be delivered to others more needy. What happened to the Home Economics and Human Ecology programs that helped young women in the 1920’s and 1930’s in rural areas go to college?

    OMG! How horrific! Giant public works programs are only acceptable if they were created by FDR.

  • Shabu ?
    December 23, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    5 cops and a taser to take her down. Has to be on something, would guess meth. She does have the look for sure.

  • Turd Burglestein
    December 23, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    I’ve made a face similar to that when I was struggling to push an abnormally large turd through the ole dookie chute.

  • Paul Larson
    December 23, 2016 at 3:35 pm

    FiestyLawyerLady wrote: “Also, I’m not the only person here who thinks you’re Paul Larson… Two peas in a pod for sure.”

    If you think I am not a real person, look at the 1966 Wachusett Regional High School year book, page 48, and you will see my picture, that I listed political affairs and the Marines as my goals. Since you claim to be a lawyer, you can go down to federal court in Boston and look up my federal Civil Rights case, Civil Action # 71-1675-W. Or you could look up the Wachusett News Recorder newspaper for May 8, 1972, which has a picture of me standing in front of the Worcester Police Department Headquarters and a story about my Civil Rights case. I served in the Marines, was a 2847 MOS, Crypto Tech. I had a security clearance and a card that said I was in NSA. I volunteered for Vietnam in 1968 and got medivaced to Danang and Chelsea Naval Hospital in 1969. I refused to accept the Purple Heart. I worked as a bouncer at the Blue Plate Bar in Holden for five years, until I got hired as a Hospital cop at Worcester City Hospital. Also, I ran for selectman in Holden to publicize my case against local and state cops. I think for myself so I’m not part of 2 peas in a pod. Just to let you know.

    Paul Larson

    • Turd Burglestein
      December 23, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      Are you any part of 3 peas in a pod then? Or do you not do peas or pods?

  • E. Warren
    December 23, 2016 at 2:32 pm

    Her four kids are her heroin habit, her oxycode habit, her OxyContin habit and her percecet habit.
    It’s so sad that her kids won’t be getting anything this year.
    Merry Junkie Christmas

  • Richard N Vulva
    December 23, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    Well, do you want me to be honest or do you want me to tell you this is the first time?

  • Independent Thinker
    December 23, 2016 at 1:12 pm

    You shouldn’t steal from others. I know thieves think that most Massachusetts citizens are disarmed because of our anti-gun laws, but more people are armed than you realize and some of these people might just take a shot at you.

  • Turd Burglestein
    December 23, 2016 at 1:01 pm


    • Turd Burglestein
      December 23, 2016 at 3:40 pm

      You’ll always get my sloppy seconds lil man.

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