Smiles And Sunshine

That Time Of The Year: Turtleboy Is Nominated For Best Local News Source And We Like To Think We Have Earned Your Vote

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It’s that time of the year again people…..Screen Shot 2017-04-20 at 8.05.46 PM

Time for Turtleboy to collect our annual Worcester Magazine award for best local news source. Now, I don’t want you to vote for us because we told you to. After all, Worcester Magazine editor Walter Bird insisted at the 24:12 mark of this video that we only won because we rigged the voting:

The people and the fake accounts that he put up voted for him, just like they voted for Mike Gaffney. We were at our party and it was time to award best councilor and best news outlet and nobody clapped. I had to tell them to clap. You won’t hear that because they won’t report that. So when they say ‘we were voted best,’ it’s only because they voted.”

Walter Bird is a flat out liar who is angry that we exposed his history with sexual harassment. We get a HUGE ovation every year we win his little contest. He just can’t come to terms with it. You people are real. We know it. And we’re not even telling you to vote for us. If you do vote for us, do it because you truly believe we’re the top local news outlet. Our resume speaks for itself. In the last year we’ve exposed….

  • Two MAJOR state police scandals
  • A fake DCF investigation against a great coach in Andover
  • Found a stolen kitty from a Methuen animal shelter
  • Debunked a home invasion at a sex slave house
  • Got a chick arrested for murder when she jerked the wheel of a car on the highway
  • Debunked a fake racially based lynching in New Hampshire
  • Proved that a woman was lying about a $3K quarter heist in Worcester
  • Unraveled a major car insurance scam ring based out of Worcester
  • Exposed countless people committing food stamp fraud
  • Exposed what was really happening at the PURR Cat Cafe
  • Exposed a Hampshire College student who was selling a tiny house on Craigs List that he claimed was for Syrian refugees
  • Identified several violent offenders who viciously assaulted 4 Milton kids on a Quincy pier
  • Exposed a drug money laundering scheme that led to the arrest of the wife of a drug dealer and his former business partner
  • Exposed a racist Sterling paramedic who ended up getting fired
  • Exposed more selling of sick puppies from Laughlin Kennel
  • Exposed woman beating State Rep candidate Moses Dixon’s arrest report
  • Thoroughly debunked the lie that Adam Jones was called racial slurs at Fenway Park
  • Exposed a racist Boston firefighter who was saying terrible things about Jews and homosexuals on social media
  • Exposed the leader of a cult-like Facebook page of South Shore Moms who was using them for free trips to Disney
  • Correctly accused Chad Reidy of murdering his wife
  • Published the emails from insane Braintree High School parents that were behind the story about why the coach resigned
  • Exposed local political activist Dan Margolis for being a high ranking member of the American Communist Party
  • Broke a national news story about High 5 Friday being cancelled in Northampton

Never mind David Prouty, Mosaic, and the countless other stories we’ve broken over the years.

That’s what we’ve done. Meanwhile the MSM writes cliche columns about Trump and steals our stories without citing them. Our record speaks for itself. We’ve earned your vote.

Nevertheless Walter Bird thinks we don’t:

Can we just stop having that discussion? When you start blogging about fat people with tattoos, who beat up their sisters, we’re not talking about news anymore, so let’s just drop that. It’s an entertaining blog if you like that stuff. It’s not a news site.”

It’s not a news site? Sure thing Walter. If it’s not news then why do you and Buttmuch Billy Shaner write about us ALL THE TIME?? Hmmmm….

Anyway, here’s what you do to vote for us. Click here. Register with an email. Vote for at least 20 categories, starting with Top Local News Outlet:

Because there’s nothing more satisfying than beating Walter Bird’s free magazine in an awards show that he’s hosting.

You have to vote for at least 20 categories in order for you ballot to be completed, so we’ll give you our endorsements, but you’re free to vote however you want….

First of all – Belsito’s Deli for best lunch spot:

There’s nothing in Worcester that compares to Belsito’s Italian grinder. Nothing.

Bennie’s Cafe:

Hook them up people! Bennie’s has been a loyal advertiser with Turtleboy for years. It’s also a great place to watch a game with regular, working class people who like cold beer, popcorn, and football.


Write her in!!

Smitty’s Tavern:

They’re like the definition of a neighborhood bar where everybody knows your name. They’re also a very loyal advertiser run by great people and they deserve to win.

Margaret Melican

Look, I have nothing but respect for Michael Erlich. He’s very good at criminal defense and is more than deserving of winning this award. He’s also a former advertiser and an all around good shit. But at the same time, no one has had to deal with more bullshit for being a turtle rider in the last year than Margaret Melican.

The amount of abuse she’s had to put up with simple for writing limericks on our Facebook page. The hours she’s put into defending our blog from bullshit lawsuits. She’s so good at what she does, and she’s a wonderful person who really deserves this award. Vote for Margaret.

Radio personality….



Specialty Sandwich is the bomb. If you’ve never been there before I challenge you to go. You won’t be disappointed.

Maria’s Fine Jewelry

They’re a great local business, family owned and operated, that advertised with us this year and dealt with a bunch of bullshit for doing so. Vote for them.

Long time advertiser Zaza Ink

Hook it up.

Another long time supporter, JJM Insurance

Head on down and get yourself some car insurance. Tell them the turtle sent you.

The only 2 that I’m torn on are Barber….

Because the Buzz Barber Shop is where I’ve gotten my haircut for years. Heather is a one woman fresh cutting crew. She is the American entrepreneur, who left her job at Kay’s to start her own business and never looked back. She also lets us sell our gear out of her shop. We voted for her. But we also really like the guys over at Matt’s at the Buzzer Barbershop in Millbury. They’ve always been big turtle supporters and we greatly appreciate the work they do. Either way you’re a winner.


Ann Marie Bartlett and Andrea Castinetti have been long time turtle riders. They’re both also really good at buying and selling homes and getting the best deal for their clients. And neither of them will turn your home into an underground sex slave factory.

And the rest…..
















9 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    March 28, 2018 at 5:17 pm

    Vote for One Worcester Homes for Best Realty Company. I went to high school with the owners (South High!) and they’re good people. Not sure if they ride the turtle or not, but if I was in a market for a house – they’re who I’d see.

  • Monster (The Hybrid)
    March 26, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    Twitter can suck my cock. If i had one. Got banned for tweeting about human nature & mental health. Anyway Im definitely voting for Turtleboy.

  • Mark
    March 24, 2018 at 12:56 pm

    Done, with exception of barber shop.  Matts at the Buzzer is better.

  • fordsnharleys
    March 24, 2018 at 4:08 am

    It’s not a participation trophy, more like winning at the special Olympics when you’re perfectly healthy.
    Next year turtleboy should try not writing this annual blog and see if they still win. That would really frost them.

  • Heavy ButtCheeks
    March 24, 2018 at 12:23 am

    Can’t even ctrl+F pizza on this shit.

  • Heavy ButtCheeks
    March 24, 2018 at 12:22 am

    I tried watching the old guy talking video and I couldn’t because it was mad creepy. Then I scrolled to the bottom and I just saw a bunch of weird polls. Idk what this is about at all.

  • Walter Bird Jr.
    March 23, 2018 at 11:03 pm

    Oh that’s precious a i d e n, we can talk about me, but your Buffalo Bills game antics are what, fake news? You’re leaving your education career, additional fake reporting? Yes, right, you were against finger prints. Come on.

  • AreYouReallySerious?
    March 23, 2018 at 10:29 pm

    Shit man ….I scrolled and I scrolled and I scrolled through this entry.

    And I get to you’re the best in Worcester?

    Fucking try to make me laugh harder.

    Best news source in Worcester?

    Well, maybe you are. But it’s not a trophy. More of a Little League participation trophy.

    • Bret
      March 24, 2018 at 6:52 am

      Your life must be so pathetic…lol Every blog you write your puppet drivel, praying for recognition….
      We love owning your tiny brain.

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