The Burlington Mall Fupaslug And Panhandling Boy Toy Own A Jeep That’s Nicer Than My Car, And She’s Now Suing Us For Deformation Of Dog Catcher
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People are still talking about the Burlington Mall Fupaslug panhandler and her chudstuffer in crime boy toy, Alex Emery. According to an emailer they drive a Jeep!
WTF??? They own a nicer car than I do!!
Everyone’s been sending us their videos and pictures, because apparently this creature is famous up and down the Route 3 corridor.
Like this guy, who had some choice words for her last December:
Notice her sign:
Once again, Amber Porter, AKA Amber Holly, is a mother of zero. She’s not struggling, since she and Alex Emery drive their Jeep up and down Route 3 looking to get drug money from idiots. She’s clearly not missing any meals, and she’s putting her degree from the Salter School to good use.
Oh, and now she’s taking us to Internet court:
Oh man, good thing this chick doesn’t play hockey. She’d have to play 60 minutes straight with no periods!!
What a lifestyle though. She’s waking up at 6 AM to see a “councilor,” so that she can get to her spot nice and early before the rival panhandlers try to nab it from her. She actually said that somewhere in that abortion of a run-on sentence.
Oh, and she never said she was hungry either. So I guess she’s panhandling so she can pay off her loans from med school. And according to her, you can be both fat and hungry. Which is true technically. But if you stay hungry for too long, you’re not gonna be fat for much longer. Ask everyone in Malawi, where people get anorexia on accident.
But I did learn a lot about biology from reading her amazing message. Apparently the body stores fat when it’s hungry, and you can’t “loose” weight as a result of it. And she struggles with good nutrition, which is why she pounds down Dunkin Donuts iced coffees all day. She’s trying though!
Anyway, bring on the lawsuit Holly. We’re undefeated in court. Then again, we haven’t faced off against Richard N. Vulva yet, because we always just settle out of court. Whatever you do, DO NOT contact Attorney Richard N. Vulva on Facebook to hire him for a Turtleboy Internet deformation lawsuit!
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