The Celtics Are Gonna Be So Good For So Long Because God Loves Us More

The Celtics Are Gonna Be So Good For So Long Because God Loves Us More

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A lot of teams would give up after a guy they just gave a $128 million contract to broke his leg in the most horrific way possible five minutes into his Celtic career. Not even gonna post the pictures or video of Gordon’s Hayward dismantled ankle. It’s out there if you wanna see it. Instead just watch the player’s reaction to it and you’ll get the point.

A lot of teams would’ve given up at that point. On the road against LeBron and crew, down by double digits at halftime.

Then reality kicked in, the Celtics realized that we are the preferred sports city of God himself, and they lost in nailbiting fashion. Here’s why I’m so hard for this team right now:

1. Jaylon Brown. He went for 25 points, 6 boards, and 3 steals, and played 40 minutes. He missed a couple big 3’s at the end but he’s 20 years old, he can score, he can defend, and he’s gonna be here long after LeBron is old and useless.

2. Jayson Tatum. He had a double-double in his NBA debut and facialized LeBron with an and one during the third quarter. As usual, the joke is on Philadelphia. We got the better player with the third overall pick AND we get a high first round draft pick next year too. It’s great to be a Celtics fans. In Danny we trust.

3. Kyrie Irving came as advertised. Twenty two points, ten assists, and three steals. He hit a bunch of big shots in the 4th quarter. He’s 25 years old.

4. Hanging on to Marcus Smart was wicked smart. No pun intended. He absolutely emasculated LeBron at times and made Kyle Korver his bitch. Nine board, 3 assists, 2 blocks, 2 steals. Great NBA championship teams always have a great shut down defender (Bruce Bowen, James Posey). Marcus Smart is that guy, and he’s 23 years old.

5. Gordon Hayward will be back this season. I have absolutely nothing to back this up. All I know is Tom Brady has magical doctors he can hook him up with, everything happens for a reason, and God loves us more.

Oh, and in order to beat us the NBA had to get rid of traveling violations altogether.

It doesn’t matter that they lost. The fact that they overcame that injury, the fact that their best players are all 27 and under, and the fact that we still have ANOTHER high lottery pick next year is all I need to know. Everyone is just waiting for the Warriors to get old. They’re gonna win the next three NBA titles. Then they’ll get old, the Cavs as we know it will no longer exist, and the Celtics will dominate the rest of Turtleboy Jr.’s childhood.

It’s great to be a Boston sports fan.



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9 Comment(s)
  • Bullz 4 Reelz
    October 18, 2017 at 7:57 am

    Yo Bullz got dis one anybody buyin stampz

  • chrissy
    October 18, 2017 at 7:52 am

    I like Basketball. It’s nice to see that really tall darkies have a second job to go to when apple picking season is over. 🙂

    • Rev Al Sharpton
      October 19, 2017 at 4:25 pm

      Dats jus fukin racist bullshit, cracka! Ain’t know homey I see whut dun guts to jobs! Y’all Kant get assistants if ya guts to jobs. Yoo be sum kinna stopid!

    • chrissy
      October 20, 2017 at 10:55 pm

      damn you loveable childlike racist chrissy troll!

  • Brian
    October 18, 2017 at 7:21 am

    Sadly he will be lucky to be back by start if next season

  • Ryan
    October 18, 2017 at 1:17 am

    I was there and Hayward’s injury was gruesome to see even from the 300 level.

    October 17, 2017 at 11:30 pm

    Yes they are young and talented but they are still going to get crushed on the boards and live and die by the 3 point shot. They will win big games when they make half their 3s and lose badly when they have games they shoot 20%. Kyrie is 100% an upgrade from Isaiah Thomas now and in the future. I heard Thomas said he will never talk to Singe again for how he was treated in the trade process. He said “everything I went thru this year I deserved better” grow up and quit crying it’s a business. Remember the Cavs just beat Celtics without Thomas and LeBron played 1 preseason game his ankle is 80% so Cleveland is fucking loaded. I still love the Celts

    • Anonymous
      October 17, 2017 at 11:57 pm

      And Celtics mostly didn’t have Hayward.

        October 18, 2017 at 12:33 am

        Cleveland got up 20 and let off the gas and Celtics crept back in game it happens. You couldn’t of watched that game and seriously think the Celts have any chance in a 7 game serious with Heyward or not they have NO ONE to stop LeBron and now LeBron has the best team that’s ever been built around him in his career. This season is over we playing for 2nd best in East and that’s it

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