All-Star Criminals

The Fact That The Hoodrat Chick Who Burned Down The Sturbridge Walmart Is From Southbridge Is The Least Surprising News Ever

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Sturbridge Police Department Facebook Page:

On 9/27/16 at about 1725 hours, the Sturbridge Public Safety Complex received a call reporting a fire in Wal-Mart located at 100 Charlton Rd. The initial caller reported seeing a fire in the Jewelry section. The caller was advised to evacuate the store. Members of the Sturbridge Police and Fire Department responded to the scene. Upon arriving to the scene it was determined three different fires were set throughout the store. All three fires had been extinguished by Wal-Mart staff and several customers who used the Fire Extinguishers that were located throughout the store.

Members of the Southbridge, Brimfield, Spencer and Charlton Fire Departments also responded to the scene to assist with ventilating the building and ensuring the building was safe for re-entry.


An immediate investigation by the Sturbridge Police and Fire along with members of the State Fire Marshalls Office ensued. It was quickly determined that the fires were deliberately set. Review of the Wal-Mart video surveillance system assisted investigators in identifying Wal-Mart Employee, Maiya Cruz of 261 Ashland Ave in Southbridge as a suspect in the fires. “After the fire Cruz was seen fleeing the area in a dark colored Saturn. The investigators called her on her cell phone and asked her to come to the station for questioning and Cruz hung up the phone on them” Said Chief Ford. “At this time the Sturbridge Police are seeking an arrest warrant for Cruz on three counts of Burning a Building Contents, three counts of Destruction of Property over $250 along with Disorderly Conduct and Disturbing the Peace.” Said Ford. If you have any information regarding this incident or the whereabouts of Cruz please contact the Sturbridge Police at 508-347-2525 or the Massachusetts State Fire Marshalls Arson Hotline: 1-800-682-9229.

At this time Wal-Mart will be closed due to smoke and fire damage. At this time we do not have a cost associated with the damage or when Wal-Mart will re-open


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As soon as I heard about this fire the first thing I thought to myself was, “guaranteed they’re from Southbridge.” Because Southbridge is always gonna Southbridge. Good thing she hung up the phone though. Now the police will just give up their investigation. That should fix the problem.

Look, we’ve all had bad days at work before, but you don’t burn down your place of business. You release a bunch of frogs or cropdust the hell out of the joint before you leave. But you don’t set three different fires in various parts of the store unless you’re a complete psychopath who just got dumped by Andre Rison.

Maiya Cruz seems like a real winner too:


Sometimes she gets really bored:


And sometimes the only thing you can do to cure your boredom is burn down the Sturbridge Walmart.

She’s totally not into herself or anything like that:





Because people who exclusively post selfies don’t have any sort of issues with narcissism.

And in the least surprising turn of events ever, her boyfriend rocks the ultimate symbol of hoodrat dooshnozzles everywhere – the flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat:


I swear to God, this is an epidemic. That hat is like walking into Papa Gino’s wearing a gigantic neon sign that says, “I’m not buying anything, but I’m gonna order a water, fill it up with Mountain Dew and sit here for three hours with my boys anyway.”

Anyway, shouldn’t take long before she’s arrested. Seriously though, someone could’ve gotten hurt. Good job by the alert customers and employees to put the fires out and protect us all from this Southbridge hoodrat.

P.S. Please don’t mess with this lady’s car:




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21 Comment(s)
  • John doe
    April 1, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    I already fucked that bitch before dalton

  • bitchisnasty
    September 30, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    thats what happens when you hire trash. good job walmart.

  • September 29, 2016 at 12:24 pm

    It should be easy to catch her, just stake out the welfare office in Southbridge.

  • Tyrone
    September 29, 2016 at 4:20 am

    My favorite girl works at the subway this ho gotta get the fuckin store closed ain’t that a bitch

  • September 29, 2016 at 2:09 am

    Why people still use to read news papers when in this technological world the
    whole thing is presented on net?

  • Jay-B
    September 29, 2016 at 12:09 am

    I don’t want to set the world on fire, I just want to start a flame in Walmart

  • ZotanOneOneSixLOLuRGurglingDix
    September 28, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    What in the blue hell happened to this blog? Too many ghost writers? This was once a place of entertainment to be had by all; but now its just a sad cesspool of sweat and semen wrung from rehydrated gym socks from under the beds of Michael Savage, Keith Olbermann, Sean Hannity, and Michael Moore. Sad! Use the discography of KISS as a reference: a reliance on low hanging fruit doesn’t solve anything for anyone.

  • Stephanie
    September 28, 2016 at 9:24 pm

    Homeless people burned the Cold Storage warehouse down and Firefighters lost lives. Where was that again? Oh that’s right Worcester.
    Unfortunate events happen everywhere.
    Nice Pornographic Ads BTW.

    • bitchisnasty
      September 30, 2016 at 7:28 pm

      those homeless people were trying to cook a meal not a walmart

  • All black dudes
    September 28, 2016 at 9:01 pm

    Yo, but dat ass though…..

  • Pasquale
    September 28, 2016 at 6:13 pm

    I wouldnt mind getting locked in a jail cell with her tho

    • True Reality Speaks
      Ashley's Beach Body Fail
      September 28, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      She’s a half-dwarf, half-gnome pretending she’s not chubby and dumpy with a face and nose like Oprah after going 3 rounds with an MMA fighter. I wouldn’t hit that STD bank with your bichito.

      • Pasquale
        September 28, 2016 at 8:49 pm

        That’s OK I’m only average so I like little hands

        • True Reality Speaks
          Ashley's Beach Body Fail
          September 29, 2016 at 6:51 pm


      • Hahahaha
        September 28, 2016 at 9:12 pm

        Ass, tits, DSL…. I’d plow. Post your roster, you’ve never fucked a girl that looks half as good as her, and she’s a trash bag.

        • True Reality Speaks
          Ashley's Beach Body Fail
          September 29, 2016 at 7:07 pm

          Dude, counting your sister, your cat, and anime porn as YOUR “roster” is weak.

          And you’re right, I’ve never even looked twice at anyone that looks half as good as her. I’ve had decent luck with girls twice as good looking as her, and I don’t think any of them have gone to jail for attempted arson – but that’s the kind of crowd I keep.

    • Troy
      September 29, 2016 at 10:32 pm

      So you have no standards

  • September 28, 2016 at 5:44 pm

    Of course another person to make the town that i live in look even worse. Hasnt southbridge had enuf attention with the fire we just had on not to mention it being a 5/6 alarm fire and almost 20 friken towns had to respond!! WTF. What tripped her brain so bad to the point that she had to go and set fires in walmart. kuu-kuu!!! She not only needs to be arrested she need some mental therapy once they lock her ass up. YOU can soooooo tell she is once conceided chic and evidently selfish to the fact that not only could she have hurt or even killed inocent adults children and babies are in that store all the time all times of the day. She cant hide forever and the cops have her address? yea i would be sitting outside her house 24/7. but trust someone that dont like her and wants a good enuf revenge against her will soon rat her ass out its only a matter of time espicially if their becomes a reward to give her ass up (hint hint) money talks and bullshit walks. Offer the right price and within a weeks time maybe even less the cops will have her stupid ass behind bars!!!!

  • Alfred Pennyworth
    September 28, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    Some people just want to watch the world burn…

  • Pro2A
    September 28, 2016 at 4:08 pm

    No! No! No! You’re supposed to LOOT the Walmart first THEN BURN IT DOWN!

  • Jay
    September 28, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    Love free Papa Gino’s soda. Even better if u got a rich friend to buy all u can eat pizza and slide u 1-9 pieces

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