Hoodrat Heroes

The Homeless Cambridge Transgender Fupasloth GoFundMe Queen Is Looking To Put An A Capella Group Together With A Craig’s List Ad

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Who remembers Blake Loren Newton?

Let me refresh your memory from December:

Loren is a morbidly obese female to male transgender individual who is homeless and lives in the middle of downtown Cambridge with her perpetually unemployed husband, her cat Sir Onyx Newton, and a bunch of other pets.

She is a master of the GoFundMe scam, and has one of the longest list of excuses for being an overall life failure and dreg of society….

Basically she says she can’t work because she’s too fat, and her husband doesn’t work because if he got a job he couldn’t collect from the government anymore. She wears diapers and claims that Sir Onyx Newton is a service animal, even though he’s not and she doesn’t qualify for one. She actually has more than one pet who she makes live in the cold with her, because she might as well drag some innocent animals into the disaster she calls life, and she refuses to get them rehomed. They sometimes buy hotel rooms and they both have iPhones that they claim nearby relatives pay for.

She also started a GoFundMe for round trip plane tickets to Germany where she will major in business, he will learn multiple languages, and a job awaits them selling their “street art.” They want to live in Germany because it’s impossible to be homeless in Germany due to government handouts. Oh, and the pets are coming with them to Europe:

She also claims that she was hit by a truck, has a disease that makes her morbidly obese, and needs money for a swimsuit so she can start swimming to lose weight.

Oh, and one more thing – she wants you to give her money for female to male gender reassignment surgery:

And don’t you DARE misgender zey, because that’s a PTSD trigger!!

The scams and whining about not getting enough government handouts were like nothing we’ve ever seen before…..

 

Her friends and supporters were up our ass for weeks about this blog. Tons of hate mail to various Facebook pages that no longer exist anymore. Check out the ratings on that blog. Usually we get a solid 4-5 stars on average. This one’s got 50 reviews and most of them are negative. Guess calling out hefalumps like this hurts people’s feelz!!

Anyway, she’s back, and this time she’s got a Craig’s List ad looking to put together an a capella group….

Before you think about applying though just understand that there’s one rule – no RAP music. Because rap music gives her PTSD, and she doesn’t have time to explain why:

But they are doing some Techno (I don’t know how an a capella group makes Techno music without instrumentation, but then again I didn’t realize the homeless could be morbidly obese) as well as Disney. So if you wanna belt out “A Whole New World,” or “Hakuna Matata” head on down to downtown Cambridge and bring your singing shoes! Because things are about to get pitch perfect up in this bitch!!

43 Comment(s)
  • Dr. Wilby Inebriated, Street Podiatrist
    April 17, 2018 at 2:02 am

    Would anyone else pay to suck on those toes?
    Mmmmm-mmmm! Tangy and crusty goodness!
    I can imagine pushing my tongue in between them, scooping out all sorts of creamy matter and then nibbling on her toenails for a delicious dessert.
    Yummy.

  • MammaT
    April 16, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    This is the most outrageously entitled person I’ve ever seen. When you lack the will to respect yourself as this person has, you aren’t going to be respected by others. You demand I refer to you as he/him and if I slip up you’ll do what exactly? Throw your diaper at me?

    There’s obviously some level of intelligence accompanying this mess, but I don’t know many people wanting to go out of their way for someone who feels entitled to the kindness of others. A wish list on Amazon? Wow!

  • LMAO
    April 14, 2018 at 6:26 pm

    Welp, looking at their GoFuckMe campaign, Alexis Szymanski left their filth den, hopefully to go home and bathe.

  • Dianne
    April 14, 2018 at 12:03 am

    If you spent half as much time seeking employment as she did conjuring up a life plan that is mainly composed of sucking off of everyone else she might have a shot. With all the time spent setting up GOFUNDME accounts, you could have filled out a job application. There are a lot of people who are ill that continue to function and contribute to society. People who have had Cancer , Heart ailments, organ transplants and even AIDS might be the ones processing your half assed applications for disability , free education and whatever else your looking for in your quest to help finance your “life plan” . Do yourself and the world a favor , take a deep breath of reality, stop researching where and what you can get for free or with very little effort. Stop expecting care packages, wish lists, and funds to come your way and start putting that energy into taking responsibility for being in the position your in. You would be surprised what happens when you stop feeling sorry for the poor choices you have made and the hand you have been dealt and start looking for ways to turn your life around. Believe it or not their are people way less fortunate than you….and most would never aspire to work their way out of despair by expecting donations or funds. Stop asking for people to help you and start helping yourself.

  • MrSparkly
    April 13, 2018 at 9:52 am

    So stealing from the American taxpayers isn’t enough. It’s going to Europe to steal from the German taxpayers. I feel like we should warn them, but then again they are letting the religion of peace take over so they’re probably a lost cause anyway.

    • Monster (The Hybrid)
      April 13, 2018 at 3:33 pm

      No rap or r&b, & she doesn’t want to explain why? It’s because she’s racist. I believe music can be a trigger, but not an entire genre of it. How is every rap/r&b song in existence a trigger? Nope, that’s one racist fat bitch. Also, her cat aint no Maine Coon. So she’s a racist, lying, fat bitch. Man, I was really hoping some suckers were able to give them enough cash to get them to EU. There’s no God.

    • Savage Squaw Bitch
      April 16, 2018 at 2:08 am

      At least she doesn’t run the risk of rape in Germany.

  • Herr Doktor
    April 13, 2018 at 9:41 am

    Sweet mother of mercy, George Lucas’s death star came to life and is a he/she/it living in Boston and stealing oxygen from the rest of us. That thing has more chins than a Hong Kong phone book, too disabled to work? Come see me tons of fun, we’ll wire your jaws and superglue your mouth shut; after you drop say a ton or two you’ll be able to work, although your days of floating around football games and sporting events will be over so start by getting rid of that GOODYEAR tattoo. And you and your entire crew need to be writing letters of apology to all the trees and plants you’ve been overworking by your existance for all the oxygen you’ve been stealing.

    • HerrDOKTORisGold
      April 13, 2018 at 12:13 pm

      DEADBWAHAHAHAHAHA. Can’t friggin’ breathe. BWAHAHAHA.

  • Don't Cornerlius A'Hightower
    April 13, 2018 at 9:39 am

    What’s wrong with starting an a capella group? That alone is hardly worth caring about. Also, this seems like punching down. It reflects poorly on you to go out of your way to insult this person.

    • Rick Shaw
      April 13, 2018 at 10:13 am

      You’re missing the point. These two trashbags are scamming off the system. How bad can this fucking hippo have it? She isn’t missing any meals. The only thing I feel bad for with this group is that brontosaurus’s wheelchair. So now these two maggots want money to go to Germany??? I am actually not opposed to that as Germany has turned into a Muslim hellhole and they stand a good chance of being beheaded.

  • Rick Shaw
    April 13, 2018 at 8:33 am

    She’d be the biggest thing to hit Germany since the Hindenburg. Hopefully the ending would be the same.

    • Captain Trips
      April 13, 2018 at 9:09 am

      If she flies to Germany, will she need to take a military cargo jet to get there?

  • Stop Looking for Handouts
    April 13, 2018 at 6:44 am

    Give me a fuckin’ break. I’m a transgender-looking (5’11” with shoulders like a linebacker and a manface), mentally ill woman who works her ass off. Come to Northampton, Blake – you’ll fit right in and there’s plenty of employment for ‘alternative’ people out here. This is pure laziness, plain and simple. Get a job.

  • Don Dewey
    April 13, 2018 at 6:18 am

    Is this Desk Girl? Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome…POS, for short, or commonly known Piece Of Shit.

  • Hughbo Mont
    April 13, 2018 at 6:05 am

    Euthanasia.

  • Spunky
    April 13, 2018 at 5:44 am

    You would think with all those illnesses (both physical & mental) that one of the symptoms would be weight loss.

  • Leigha's Dog
    April 13, 2018 at 2:55 am

    Even I wouldn’t get near that fucking thing and I’ve been pretty horny lately! Woof!

  • #likelystorytranstrenderdork
    April 12, 2018 at 10:49 pm

    Well id just like to say that PCOS is an EXTREMELY rare disorder, i highly doubt this thing has it, and shes using it as an excuse to be over 400 pounds like that fat ass whitney on that fat show, seriously its not that common. This excuse of PCOS causing them to be fat is outrageous, shes fat because she got a wheel chair, eats 30,000k calories a day and decided “fuck walking” just like whitneys fat ass. Even with PCOS you cant possibly gain as much weight as she has, either of the two dumptrucks, without maintaining the lifestyle of eating for 5 people at every meal and drinking 3,000 a cup calorie starbucks drinks. I cant believe anyone has given them any money, its insane that all 3 of them are that selfish with the animals and arent letting a shelter foster or rehome them, ferrets need a cage they can rum around around in, i have 3 ferrets and 2 double story cages for them and its still not enough room, they keep that poor thing in a small rabbit cage. Only in post Obama America are we still seeing crap like this, begging and crying about how many ailments this blob has and they only get this and only get that. Makes you wonder why they dont live with his mom and stepdad that pay for the phones, its possible they gave them phones with full service to fuck off and get their lazy pathetic no job having asses out of their house. Why do people like this have access to the internet? Can we please open the many insane asylums that were closed down?!?!?!?

  • Will Crusher
    April 12, 2018 at 10:37 pm

    It isn’t transphobia to just not like trannies. Why do they conflate fear with contempt? If I make up a bunch of bullshit and say I’m a disabled “transhuman” that identifies as “alien”, do I get pity points and free money? Jesus fucking Christ.

  • phong
    April 12, 2018 at 10:16 pm

    When she’s swimming, does the boyfriend keep watch for whaling ships?

  • Sloppy
    April 12, 2018 at 8:46 pm

    Panhandling from all the liberal jackasses in Cambridge while playing the tranny card, that thing probably makes more money than a lot of us do some days.

  • swede
    April 12, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    Get off your fat ass and get a job! Get rid of the animals..that is animal abuse.

  • roberti
    April 12, 2018 at 5:44 pm

    This is one strange post and video, don’t know what else you can say.
    I never heard of one person having some many issues.
    How is she still alive?

  • Sloppy
    April 12, 2018 at 5:34 pm

    I thought Craigslist got rid of personal ads.
    Where’d that thing post it to, ‘Heavy Equipment’?

  • Will Crusher
    April 12, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    Yeah, no. It isn’t a man. It’s a tranny, born a female. I’m not buying into it.

  • Ivan The Terrible
    April 12, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    I can only imagine how proud it’s parents are. I blame Trump.

    • M
      April 13, 2018 at 6:50 am

      Is that sarcasm, or do you genuinely believe that?

  • Jewoven
    April 12, 2018 at 4:19 pm

    It’s a mental illness like Judaism,abortion,diddling catholic priests,fupasloth melican,transgender marathons in Boston the gay capital of the world.

    • pro trump
      April 12, 2018 at 7:40 pm

      trash trannies worthless subhuman monsters!!!!!!!!!

  • Juan Tobangu
    April 12, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Wow! Two giant oxygen thieves. They’re breathing air that normal, working people should be breathing. I hope they get on a leaky boat that makes it half way to Germany.
    No shame in their embarrassing game. I feel bad for the pets. I’m surprised the cat doesn’t try to bury those two human turds. How much you want to bet that ferret has been used as an ass weasel?

    • Ass Weasel
      April 12, 2018 at 4:37 pm

      It’s about time somebody recognized us. The gerbils keep getting the credit for all our stunts, and that’s a PTSD trigger. Long story, I’ll explain it later…

  • TJB
    April 12, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    The PRC (people’s republic of Cambridge) is an attraction for many different basket cases like this blob.
    Perhaps it should move to a warmer place; like Somalia.
    I’m sure that Moby would be welcomed there and would lose weight on the spigot.

  • Andrea Campbell
    April 12, 2018 at 4:11 pm

    Maybe something happened to this man? Maybe we shouldn’t jump to conclusions?
    Anyone think of that?

    • Cracker
      April 12, 2018 at 4:30 pm

      What man? How fucking high are you? Fucking shit, that fat cunt is the most compelling argument for fascism I’ve ever seen. They both need an ass kicking until they get mad enough to fight back, and at that moment, they’ll figure out exactly what are their real problems. You fucking moonbats are not only completely shameless, you revel in your own shamelessness. You’re a cancer on society. Fuck off hard.

    • Top turtle fan
      April 12, 2018 at 5:40 pm

      I you meant this comment for the stolen dog post. Ijs.

    • Blake Loren Newton
      April 12, 2018 at 5:58 pm

      Thank you!!! It’s about time someone stood up for me!! Yes, I have what some may call a bit of a weight problem. I eat because I’m sad, and I’m sad because I’m fat! And I hate my stoopid vagine… It’s so stupid. I like to punch it hard when I see it. Which, luckily, hasn’t been for several years now. Ya know… cause of my gunt. I hate being a girl because of that stoopid Marky Mark song… Good Vibrations. Not the Beach Boys one… that one is the tits. The Marky Mark one gives me PTSD because I got a vibrator stuck in my stoopid vagine when I was punishing it, for being stoopid, and that song was on repeat. For 32 hours and 17 minutes… I heard that song. But my legs wouldn’t work, cause, you know, fat. But it’s a long story and I don’t want to talk about it. I also hate R&B… cause… Usher. Nuff said. All kinds of bad stuff happens to me… I was kicked out of Panera Bread cause I smelled more than the bread. True story. PTSD.

  • Bill Ulater
    April 12, 2018 at 4:05 pm

    Wow, no matter what you may think of his/her/its motives you can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for this trainwreck. Imagine being 400 pounds and that mentally deranged…

  • Gamera
    April 12, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    Only in America can you be homeless and 500 lbs… And still get hormone pills to treat your mental illness… And suffer PTSD from literally everything.

    • Ricardo Cabeza
      April 12, 2018 at 5:27 pm

      Only in the America post Obama. This country wasn’t like this 10 years ago….

      • SJWHater101
        April 12, 2018 at 10:37 pm

        You sir hit the nail on the head.  Bullshit like this is exactly why trump won, and more than likely will again.  The country needs to focus on what’s important, and shit like this cunt/asshole/whale isn’t.

  • The Vorlon
    April 12, 2018 at 3:46 pm

    It would appear that this problem will be self-correcting shortly.

    Or we could wish for a prolonged cold snap.

    • Captain Trips
      April 12, 2018 at 5:57 pm

      This ‘thing’ will be gone before long after ‘its’ heart gives out due to all of the fat.

      Nature has a way of self-correcting

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