Politics

The John Oliver Rant About Donald Trump Is The Least Funny Thing Ever Because It Literally Takes No Comedic Talent To Roast Donald Trump

The John Oliver Rant About Donald Trump Is The Least Funny Thing Ever Because It Literally Takes No Comedic Talent To Roast Donald Trump

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Everyone on Turtleboy’s Facebook roster has been buzzing about this John Oliver rant about Donald Trump. Literally, dozens of people have shared it and said it’s a must watch. So finally we got around to watching it today. If you have 21 minutes feel free to watch along with us:

That was the least funny way to spend 21 minutes possible. I don’t get it. Where’s the funny part? Trump is low hanging fruit. It’s like Chris Christie fat jokes. Literally anyone can bust on him. It takes absolutely no comedic talent to roast Trump. Turtleboy Jr. was cracking Trump jokes the other day. And everyone’s acting like this is groundreaking comedy. Oh, Trump’s campaign isn’t really self funded? Who gives a shit. Yet here’s the type of stuff I’m seeing:

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Yea, no shit he doesn’t care what the truth is. No politician cares about truth. They care about getting elected. Cool story bro.

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Best political journalism? I want what this guy’s smoking.

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Don’t you people get it? Nothing about Trump is real. There won’t be any wall if he’s elected. Mexico certainly won’t pay for it. America won’t magically be “great” again. Bowe Bergdahl won’t be lynched. He’s just taking a flawed political process and blowing it up. He’s seen what we’ve all seen – everything about politics is joke and a lie. All he’s doing is what Americans have been wishing someone would have done a long time ago – relentlessly mocking the establishment.

And this joke right here the laugh track crowd went nuts for:

“Remember that date, 1/20/17. It’s the date that time travelers from the future will come back to to try to stop the whole thing from happening.”

Oh SHIT!!!! Funniest thing I’ve ever heard!!! It’s hilarious because Trump says the wildest things!! Man, when those time travelers come back here on the day Trump is inaugurated they’re gonna be like, “Soylent green is people!!!”

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Then he went on about this:

“A candidate for president needs a coherent set of policies. Whatever you think about Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, at least you basically know where they stand, but Trump’s opinions have been wildly inconsistent,” said Oliver. “He’s been pro choice and pro life; he’s been for and against assault weapon bans; in favor of both bringing in Syrian refugees and deporting them out of the country.”

Stop the fight!!! Are you telling me that Trump flip flops on issues? Get the fuck out of here??!!! Mind blown!! He’s literally the first politician to ever do that. It’s not like Hillary or Barrack Obama has ever flip flopped on a serious issue like gay marriage:

So where’s the groundbreaking part? Trump said one thing 10 years ago and now he’s saying another thing? Man, this John Oliver guy is breaking down barriers left and right!!

Here’s my issue with John Oliver – he’s not funny. At all. Because he’s way too serious. You can’t mix anger and butthurt with comedy. And in that rant he just comes off as angry and butthurt. Dude has Trump on the brain and he’s and he’s no longer laughing about it because now he realizes that Trump becoming President is a real thing that could actually happen.

Jon Stewart was funny. Him and Oliver share similar political views as both of them slant heavily to the left. Which is fine. But Jon Stewart could take the same thing and make you laugh. You can call that 21 minute rant funny if you want, but it’s definitely not funny. Bill Maher has been doing the same rants for years now, and he actually makes you laugh. I feel like people think it’s funny because a guy in a British accent is saying it. Literally anyone could take the script he just read and deliver it. Not funny. This is funny:

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Hilarious.

Oh yea, and Jon Stewart also dished it out to both sides of the aisle. If John Oliver does the same exact 21 minute rant for Bernie and Hillary (because let’s be honest, both of those candidates provide a never ending source of material) then at least I could give him credit. I mean, one is a 74 year old socialist, and the other is a professional liar who couldn’t possibly be faker if she tried. If he’s not gonna rant about them, then how is he any different from Rachel Maddow? I mean, he even of looks like a British Rachel Maddow.

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How bout when he starts ranting towards the end about how Donald Trump’s family surname was originally “Drumpf.” Or as Oliver puts it, “the sound root beer makes when it falls off the shelf in the mini mart.”

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAA. Hilarious!! It’s funny because we can all relate to root beer falling off a shelf at a mini mart. I was wondering what that sounded like, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Drumpf!! It was Drumpf the whole time!! Thank God for John Oliver!!

Anyway, the whole purpose of John Oliver’s rant is to get you to realize that “Trump” is just a brand. If you ignore all the hype and the bullshit, he’s just a hollow man with a weird sounding last name and you’d never vote for him.

But what Oliver doesn’t realize is that the more people tell me not to vote for Trump, the more I kind of want to. Just to see what it feels like. It’s like telling a teenage boy to wait until he’s married to have sex. Literally everyone is warning me on the Facebook machine how INSANE it’s going to be if he’s President. Well guess what? I’m the one who turns on the light switch when there’s a sign that says, “don’t turn on switch.” I’m Saul Goodman. I wanna see what all the hubabaloo is about because it sure sounds like a lot more fun than four years of Hillary Clinton muumuus. 

 

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15 Comment(s)
  • Nanny
    March 4, 2016 at 3:44 pm

    TB – irony. Look it up.

  • Shoot stain
    March 3, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    Please put away your trump boner turtle boy

  • Springfield City of Homies
    March 3, 2016 at 7:41 pm

    Bernie’s original last name is Gitman but the #BernVictims don’t wanna have any of it. A bunch of whiny entitled upper middle class white kids with English degrees who don’t know how the world works.

  • True Reality Speaks
    True Reality Speaks
    March 3, 2016 at 8:11 am

    Who the f*&ck is John Oliver and why would anyone care what he says? It’s not like he’s a Kardashian or anything.

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      March 3, 2016 at 9:06 am

      Too funny! I like what you did there.

    • BobnMic
      March 3, 2016 at 12:31 pm

      No John Oliver is a “bigger ass!”

  • BobnMic
    March 3, 2016 at 1:57 am

    I watch John Oliver every week only to see what disgusting things come out of his mouth about the U.S. It is particularly disturbing hearing these rants from someone with a British accent. What the hell is his real motive and is he even a U.S. citizen?

    I don’t know but after every one of stupid shows and his anti-U.S. rants I want the U.S. military to hook up with the French again and go kick some British ass. Again!

    Fuck you John Oliver. Go drift back over the pond and go have a fucking spot of tea. Fucking U.K. If it wasn’t for the greatest generation you’d be speaking German and marching like you are literally trying to kick the Nazi in front of you right in the ass.

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      March 3, 2016 at 6:05 am

      I have never wasted my time watching John Oliver, but he sounds like the jizz stain on American soil, Piers Morgan. Only difference being, Oliver trys to be funny, while Piers is just a douche.

    • Jafreese
      March 3, 2016 at 7:35 am

      There’s a simple explanation really: the rest of the world has an inferiority complex and is insanely jealous of us. Not just on TV but when you travel and meet people. They are so wrapped up in things going on here is creepy.

      • BobnMic's asshole is jeolous of his mouth
        March 3, 2016 at 8:24 am

        The president of the United States is a pretty big deal and has some serious implications on the rest of the entire world. I wouldn’t say they have an inferiority complex, as much as I’d say they are wondering whether or not we are going to be fighting WWIII.

        • BobnMic
          March 3, 2016 at 12:24 pm

          Hey – shit for brains using my name – most of us are saying basically the same thing here which to include this article itself. To say that the rest of the world does not have an inferiority complex but start off with the United States Presidency has “some serious implications on the rest of the entire world” is contradicting at best and at worst IS an inferiority complex.

          You just proved Jafreese’s point you fool. Oh and I love the part that about whether or not we are going to be fighting WWIII. Brilliant. If the John Olivers of the world would just mind their own fucking business and keep their own houses in order than they wouldn’t be so paranoid about American politics.

          • Bobnmic is an Idiot
            March 11, 2016 at 1:37 pm

            Bob, I know your IQ is likely south of 90, but I think even you can’t extrapolate “inferiority complex” from that comment.

            He is saying it has major implications of America’s character. And it does. The Presidential seat is the most voted for in the nation, and it reflects who we are as a country at the very least.

            Also, the Russians took care of the Nazis, not the US, so EU doesn’t owe us that victory.

            By the way you fact evading dumbass, the U.S. isn’t infallible, and often times he compliments the parts of the good we do, and on balance criticizes the bad. Is that not the way the world works?

    • IgnoranceBreedsIgnorance
      March 3, 2016 at 9:14 am

      I personally think people from the UK and beyond should keep their opinions to themselves on our presidential candidates. They should be focusing on the complete implosion of Europe because their leaders are letting their countries be taken over by Muslim refugees that are destroying their ways of life and putting their citizens in danger. Focus elsewhere, John Oliver!

  • Jafreese
    March 2, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    It’s amazing how childish grown adults can be when they don’t get their way. I’m not sure if him being elected would be great to listen to them whine, or it will be horrible because I’ll have to listen to all the whining

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