WTF

This Conspiracy That Donald Trump Is Time Traveling In A Machine Invented By Nikola Tesla Is Completely Insane And The Fact That It Keeps Going Viral Makes My Head Hurt

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Today’s insane conspiracy theory appears to have been deduced by a learned young scholar who goes by “YungDrae”, so you know it’s bulletproof. According to YungDrae, and countless other gullible morons on Reddit, there is a definitive trail of breadcrumbs leading right up to the startling revelation that Donald Trump is a time traveler.

 

I will give credit where credit is due, because the mental gymnastics required to arrive at the conclusion that the 45th and current President of the United States is a time traveler cruising around in secret technology made by notorious loon and internet cult superstar, Nikola Tesla, are impressive to say the least. I was honestly slightly tired when I was done chasing down every crazy lead.

 

I’m going to debunk the shit out of this one, anyway.

 

It all centers around  a couple late 19th century books written by a guy named Ingersoll Lockwood that nobody has ever heard about and otherwise no one would ever have heard of. He was a lawyer who “dabbled” in writing shitty books that commercially flopped and were critically panned, a fantasy type novel called “Baron Trump’s Marvelous Underground Journey,” and a work of speculative fiction titled, “1900, or, The Last President”.

Actually, it’s “Barron”, but OK. We’ll just count it phonetically.

 

 

They don’t look like the same person, YungDrae. That’s a drawing of a potato in a Pope robe.

 

 

 

…Might as well tie in a more accepted conspiracy. How much weed did you smoke, Yungdrae?

So, “Baron Trump’s Marvelous Underground Journey,” is an actual book, but it is actually the second Baron Trump book, written four years after the first, “Travels and adventures of Little Baron Trump and his wonderful dog Bulger”. Both are whimsical stories that clearly rip off “Alice in Wonderland,” about the magical adventures of a young German baron named Wilhelm Heinrich Sebastian Von Troomp.  “Don” is a Spanish title, and is used as such in this 124 year old shitsmear of a novel. The book is full of alternate dimensions, monsters, giants, demons, and a long trip into the land of “Queen Galaxa.” It has nothing to do with the President’s son outside of the name.

In 1896, Lockwood again tried to write something that wouldn’t be savagely ripped to shreds by literary critics, and failed yet again with “1900, or The First President.” It’s not a sequel, and has nothing to do with either of the Baron Trump books. I wouldn’t expect YungDrae to understand the definition of a “sequel”, so we’ll give him another mulligan.

Oh, a book about a wealthy, Fifth Avenue-dwelling tycoon and political outsider whose populist “common man” rhetoric and massive reform of the monetary system inspires violent protests and eventually a full-on civil war that brings down the country! Spooky! It’s almost like a speculative piece of political fiction has never appeared eerily prophetic in retrospect before!

 

 

Suck my dick, Lockwood.

LOL winning since 1984 bitch

 

 

 

 

 

But….wait…!

 

 

Oh, for fuck’s sake…..

 

It wouldn’t be a real tinfoil hat internet conspiracy, though, without an appearance from this guy:

 

 

 

 

“Alien” = not from the US, you shit for brains.

 

 

Well, Yung, actually it’s his uncle, but don’t let silly little things like “facts” and “reason” get in your way here. Although this is otherwise factually accurate, Nikola Tesla was a most likely autistic nutjob who over promised and under delivered to the point of delusion, his notebook full of ideas was total useless dogshit, and John Trump knew it. 

 

If you’ve been able to follow this line of nonsense so far, in summation some tinfoil hat wearing hoodbooger “figured out” a late 19th century failed author either had some kind of divine vision about Trump becoming president or that Trump somehow went back in time himself to write them, thanks to technology invented by Nikola Tesla. And naturally, he’s been hiding this time travel ability ever since. And he presented his well researched and reasoned thesis on Snapchat, of course.

 

And just for good measure…..

 

Jesus fucking Christ. Stop the ride, I’m getting off.

 

14 Comment(s)
  • Bristol Turtlechick
    January 25, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    YungDrae is Mystic Circle on YouTube. Of course the comments are disabled but 89,000 idiots have wasted 38 minutes of their lives on this crap.

  • Captain Obvious
    January 25, 2019 at 12:57 pm

    The author of this article is a fucking idiot of they think Nikola Tesla was just some nut job. He invented AC electricity. You know the thing that allows us not to each have a power station outside of our house. His patents were also used to create radio. The reason why nobody could understand his notes is because he was far and away smarter than anyone. Get your facts straight next time before you try belittling one of the greatest minds that has ever lived.

  • Don Lemmonhead
    January 24, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    People sure ar obsessed with anything Trump. He’s a shoe in to win in 2020. Imagine the outrage. Holy shit it’s going to be great

  • Evel Stevel
    January 24, 2019 at 3:06 pm

    Is there anything funnier than a stupid person who has an epiphany ? They get so fucking excited and gleefully share their simple minded “discoveries” with anyone who’ll listen. Yup, they’ve strapped on their thinking caps and thought and thought and thought some more, when suddenly, POW !!! They had an idea !!!! I can’t wait to tell someone !!

  • Screw Edison!
    January 24, 2019 at 2:01 pm

    Don’t condemn Tesla! Our modern society is based on Tesla’s work (AC power generation and transmission).

    If you want to condemn anyone, condemn Edison! Pissant motherfucker who couldn’t handle defeat with Tesla regarding the “War of The Currents”!

    • z
      January 24, 2019 at 6:00 pm

      Edison was a talent, there is no doubt.
      He was also a dick of the highest order.
      He sued everyone for anything.
      He was a patent troll before anyone knew what a patent troll was.

  • Citypoint
    January 24, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    Yungdrae is really Kevin Cullen.

  • Y
    January 24, 2019 at 12:52 pm

    I agree, Bristol:

  • Finn.
    January 24, 2019 at 11:59 am

    I believe.

    • Y
      January 24, 2019 at 12:55 pm

      Welcome back.

  • z
    January 24, 2019 at 11:48 am

    Wow, just wow.

    Has anyone contacted Giorgio A. Tsoukalos yet?

  • Maggie the Cat
    January 24, 2019 at 11:05 am

    I will still vote for Trump in the next Presidential Election. I am a little disappointed, however, that his hairdresser must have been on furlough, given how The Donald’s hair looked on TV last night. We should start a go fund me to get Donald’s hairdresser back to work!

    AND YES, I REALLY WILL VOTE FOR HIM AGAIN. So There.

  • Rockets Redglare
    January 24, 2019 at 11:02 am

    Future CNN headline story…

  • Turdchomper
    January 24, 2019 at 11:00 am

    “But wait, there’s more”….That guy’s dreck was worse than a shitty infomercial

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