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Happy Monday turtle riders. As some of you know, we’re working on our first e-book, that’s partly a tell all about Turtleboy’s history and rise to media dominance. One of the first times Turtleboy became talk of the town outside of Worcester was in early 2015. We had brought on this blogger from the Cape, who turned out to be a teacher. He wrote one blog about how cheap old people in Harwich are and it caused a lot of buzz in town, prompting this legendary reading of an entire Turtleboy blog at a town council meeting:

“Does this sound like ‘I got mine, fuckyouville’? Yup.”

The looks of people in that room once she started reading from the Gospel of Turtleboy:

Priceless.

Unfortunately for this Turtleboy blogger it was his first, last, and only blog, as he was basically outed by this woman:

“These are the words of a teacher in this room right now.”

Oops! Turns out she didn’t take too kindly to the fact that he was using satire and letting her prove his point for him. He got cold feet after that and we never heard from him again. No clue what his name is (we often don’t know the real names of people who publish blogs on Turtleboy) but I wonder if he kept his job (he unwisely put too many traceable details in the blog) and I wonder if he’s still riding the turtle. Either way, it was a prime example of why we don’t reveal the names of our bloggers. Because we’re living in a world where the first thing people do is go for your job. And we need jobs so that we don’t end up as characters in future Turtleboy blogs.

I got nothing against this lady either. I actually loved her fighting spirit, even if she didn’t like our blogs. I’ve heard from people that she has since passed away, but at least she had a chance to ride the turtle before doing so.