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After years of processing, a 16 year Lawrence District Court officer will finally face charges in the repeated rape of a female inmate while in court custody. Jose Felix Martinez is being tried on 4 counts of rape and 6 counts of assault and battery after forcefully having sex with an unidentified woman INSIDE the court house where he AND his wife both work. Captain Molester Fingers took advantage of this inmate while she was shackled and being processed on multiple occasions starting in 2009. These vomit-worthy episodes happened in various locations in the building including a stairwell, stopped elevator and small holding cell. I don’t know about you, but working with the scum of the Mingya Valley all day, everyday for 16 years would most definitely create an insatiable desire to fornicate with criminals while on the clock. You might as well put a giant, blinking GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS! sign outside of the LDC because this is exactly where you go to let loose and get your rocks off.

Martinez had his first hearing in March of 2015 and was allowed 40k bail because the defense argued he had no previous criminal record and presented his long court career as a redeeming quality that would deter him from fleeing. He denied any and all involvement with the female inmate (I din do nuffin!) and his attorney argued that the woman’s claims were bogus because she was a career criminal.

Granted, her numerous aliases and mile long track record doesn’t work in her favor but come THE FUCK on. You can’t just dismiss serious rape allegations with a “Boy Who Cried Wolf” excuse based on a history of drug abuse and/or prostitution charges. I mean don’t get me wrong, drugs and hooking are bad, mmkay? But just because you can’t trust someone not to pawn your jewelry or electronics for a couple crack rocks doesn’t mean she shouldn’t at least have her claims considered.

But wait! There’s more!

Jose -the Velocirapist- Martinez was picked up by the feds 5 days after his court hearing when he contacted a co-worker and requested that his cellphone, which was left in the courthouse, be found and destroyed. His exact words were, “Take it home, smash it to pieces and throw it in the river”.

This Stephen Hawking understudy decided that when you work in a courthouse and have incriminating evidence on your phone the best hiding spot for it is on a shelf behind the judges bench. My toddler plays a better game of hide and seek and her go-to move is standing in the middle of the room under a blanket swinging her arms around.

Also, can we please stop dumping trash in the Merrimack? I know it’s been every criminals go-to source of disposal when ditching incriminating evidence but the prisoners at the “Farm” on Comm. Ave only pick up trash alongside of 495. Removing crap from the river is done by Rocky Morrison and The Clean River Project so if you’re going to keep chucking stuff over the Marston Street bridge donate a buck or two to their cause.

Anyway, not only was his victim was able to identify him by the numerous selfies he had on his phone but he also had thousands (thousands!) of pornographic videos and pictures stored on that bad boy too. What a fucking creep. So his bail was revoked and he tacked on an additional “intimidation of a witness” charge. Bravo, dickbreath. Unfortunately the surveillance video was “destroyed” but after the victim was able to produce a coat with his DNA on it, the denial route won’t carry him to freedom.

Martinez then changed his statement saying that although inappropriate, the sexual acts were consensual. Ohhh okay, because as long as she was 100% on board for a bailiff booty-call it’s TOTALLY fine, right? No way, Jose! You can’t go around diddling an inmates God-pocket at work. That’s not how any of this works.

Jose now admits that he denied all allegations because he was afraid of losing his pension, being terminated from his job and losing his family’s respect. While I’m sure his wife and two daughters are now beyond revolted and deny being related to this dog-rocket, it’s amazing to me that none of this reasoning behind hiding the truth was that he was ashamed or sorry. The jury was selected last week and his trial will now move forward until completion. With the upcoming testimonies of numerous colleagues, court officials and undeniable DNA evidence to support the victim’s claims I’m hopeful Mr. Martinez will get exactly what he deserves. I’m sure he’s bound to have some friends waiting for him in the pen. You don’t usher criminals for 16 years without striking a chord with at least one, very large shower hawk.

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