Hoodrat Heroes

Threats, Bootleg Porn Stars, Toilet Fetuses, Motel Live Shows: The Billerica Rappers Are Glorious Ratchets And They’re Coming On Live Tomorrow Night

 

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MVTB dropped this hilarious blog about some upstart rappers from Billerica while I was sleeping last night, and I woke up to a sea of ratchetry on our Facebook pages.

Ryan “Rizzy” Runyan and crew have been thirsty for some views, and they finally got it.

They’re just too dumb to realize that they went from 1,700 views to almost 20,000 because grown adults who film rap videos in random parking lots is instant comedy. It’s like watching a bad car accident, except they’re doing it on purpose.

Rizzy experienced varying emotions today, starting with passive aggressive thank you.

Before offering top dollar to any turtle rider who can out me.

Even though, 1) I didn’t write the blog, and 2) I literally wrote a book called “I Am Turtleboy” and my name is on the cover.

He wasn’t the only one who wanted to know, and the rest of the hoodbooger patrol vowed revenge for the free publicity their shitty rap video got from being on Turtleboy.

I guess they’re planning on “setting me up.” Sounds like fun!

Then things started getting serious.

“We gettem down the North wit a few baseball bats and we teach them….the NB way. Make auntie proud!”

I’m not messing with auntie, she looks like she’s seen some shit in NB.

If you need a carton of Newport 100’s while you’re a guest at MCI Framingham, that’s the chick you call right there.

Then tonight he released this 15 minute video of him and Captain Tattoo Cyclops in a hotel room drinking Henny and using the n word freely in some sort of vain attempt to respond to the blog.

This is how babies are made in Billerica:

You may recognize Tattoo boy from the video as the guy with the ankle bracelet and the Salvation Army Jordan’s.

Meanwhile, remember these two from the video?

She may or may not have climaxed at least 3 times on “set.” His name is Joe Pothier and she’s his on again off again on again girlfriend Leah Badeau.

And as you can see, Joe says I’m being “LEGITIMATELY followed.” Something that happens to him every time he walks into a department store rocking a Ecko jumpsuit.

It turns out these two are a ratchet blog unto themselves. According to her Facebook page she is a “mother to an angel.”

Which according to Joe means, “you done threw our fetus in the toilet.”

Evidently they post stuff like this all the time during their very public and very open breakups. According to her this happens because “I haven’t cheated on Joe, tho I hung out wit an ex the first month we started dating and we hooked up so yes I cheated on him.”

So…..she doesn’t cheat on him, except when she cheats on him. Then he gets mad and accuses her of killing their love fetus and she gets her revenge by posting screenshots of it for the world to enjoy. Don’t worry though, they’ll be back together in no time.

Then they’ll break up over

and over

and over

and over again.

Then they get back together again so he has to remind all the thirsty dudes out there to stop sending dick pics.

Perfectly normal.

And did I mention they had a Porn Hub channel?

And when their subscribers asked him why her stench trench was all red, he explained that “all I do is beat it up.”

Well…you and her ex. But who’s keeping track? If he sticks with the rap game she might get a tattoo of him like she did for the last rapper she dated.

Finally to cap off one of the most entertaining days in recent Turtleboy memories, Rizzy’s baby momma showed up with some wild accusations to levy against him.

Go on…..

Next thing you know other associates of his started coming out of the woodworks with similar stories of abandoned crotch fruits.

It should be noted that we don’t know this woman, and if I’m being honest anyone who looks at this face:

And thinks to themselves, “I’d like to let that guy impregnate me,” might not be the most trusted person in the world. Others came out and levied their own accusations against her.

Oh good Lord, they named their poor poon polyp Kayden. There are no winners here, unless he follows through on his promise for live tonight:

Hey Rizzy, if you and the hoodbooger patrol wants to come on the live show tomorrow you’re gonna have to unblock Clarence Woods Emerson on Facebook because that’s how we call you. Just sayin.

For the record, Rizzy said the following in the live video: 

I got court documents that proves I had custody of my kid for 4 years bro. 

So we’re gonna get to the bottom of this on the Live show. Good news though – Bret Killoran returns tomorrow AND we’re gonna have Merrimack Valley Turtle Bae on since she wrote the blog in the first place. I’m thinking about returning to Facebook Live for this one instead of YouTube, but not sure if I wanna jinx the good run we’ve had. I’ll let you all know tomorrow, but either way the show starts at 9.

 

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62 Comment(s)
  • No one important
    April 24, 2019 at 8:54 pm

    I grew up with these kids and unfortunately had to sleep at their house on multiple occasions because of a mutual friend/family member…one of the very STRONG memories from those days was the two twin runyan boys taking mice and hanging them upside down by the rats tails and setting them on fire just to watch them suffer…after that I refused to go around them…I have SO MANY fucked up stories (like devil worshiping rituals and beating their poor family dog) it’s not even funny. Kids are disturbed and there is a real chemical imbalance present.

  • Brohemian Rapsody
    April 21, 2019 at 6:46 pm

    Yo bro muh names Runyan
    I got more fucked up lines than the onion
    My aunties always beating on the swine
    My pants so low I’m showin muh behind
    So my girl likes to take a big black log
    Taking no shit here from you fuckers on this blog
    Pumping hoes with my bad was Jetta
    Bros be hatin cuz they know I got it better
    I can’t believe I done threw away my solar city stock
    If I had it I wouldn’t have to suck so much cock

  • anna
    April 21, 2019 at 2:14 pm

    This Leah girl actually bullied me in middle school. Funny to see shes the same way she was back then.

  • FatherTime
    April 21, 2019 at 12:27 pm

    Look. I know Ryan Runyan personally. He’s a good kid if and when he wants to be. He had a job at Solar City with a lot of potential. He had 1000 stock options that would have been worth $275,000 if he didn’t get fired from that job for punching in and then going home…more than once I’m told…the kid sabotages himself consistently. His parents are morons who abused this kid when he was a child. Its pretty sad. He has a very good singing voice and a creative spark…but he’s using it in all the wrong ways. He lived with one of his baby momas and I hear, her dad bought him a car with insurance where he proceeded to crash the car…TWICE…he hasn’t paid child support for over 4 years and he threatens to take this same baby moma to court over custody…which is ironic…because he’s a deadbeat dad and would get steamrolled if he tried…if this idiot doesn’t wake up soon, its over and done with. Hoping he gets it someday.

    • Jefe
      April 21, 2019 at 10:01 pm

      If he hasn’t “gotten it” by now, he will never get it. He’s 30. Game over.
      A “good kid” who doesn’t take care of his own child? That’s just a scum bag. One of the many problems I can see, just from watching that absurd video, is that Runyan has issues with his identity. I’m not sure that he’s ever looked in the mirror and realized that he is not a black r&b star, and never will be. The reality is that he’s a white kid, pretending to be a black hard ass.

  • Motel 6 Cleaning lady
    April 21, 2019 at 8:22 am

    These kids are classless animals.
    All they left me for a tip was used condoms, Christmas lights and a gay sex DVD????
    We will not ‘leave a light on’ for them again.

    • Motel 6 Cleaning lady
      April 21, 2019 at 8:38 am

      Oh yeah, and WTF am I supposed to do with the three gerbils and a half empty can of Crisco that you left in the bathroom sink??

  • WHUDFM100.7
    April 20, 2019 at 10:32 pm

    First, I thought it was Fernando Rodney in a drag. Then, when looking closer, the chap got his hat on too straight.

  • NoMore
    April 20, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    Ryan’s “fiancé” was literally dating someone else 2 months ago and was physically abusive, mentally abusive, and all over a psycho and a halffffff

  • Jizzy Live Show
    April 20, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    The live show is turning out to be everything I hoped it would. And the raps in the comments are the best! Now that’s real talent bro!

  • JJ White is a WHORE
    April 20, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    Jenni White (JJ White) is the Somerville slampig, she’s been through more than half the city and shes already engaged to this fag after 2 weeks of dating. Word is she got ran through by all his friends too.

  • Jefe
    April 20, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    Take Runyan to the Heath Street projects, and he’d cower like a bitch.
    Not one of those asswipes has a pot to piss in, yet they think they have the world by the short and curlies.
    This is what happens when dems allow low lifes to stay on the dole for life.
    “Time out! We live! Time out!”
    What a fucking tool you are, Runyan. Even that last name – Runyan – is gay as a hayride.

  • Aunty pigfucker
    April 20, 2019 at 8:43 pm

    If you google megan caterino the slutty looking aunt, you will see that she was charged with felony animal abuse because of a pot bellied pig she had at her house, word is that ryan runyan was butt fucking the poor critter

  • Auntie
    April 20, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    $25 Blow Job specials in the back of 7 Eleven on Boston Road

  • A Bone
    April 20, 2019 at 5:04 pm

    No ones throwing me a bone… well here ya go;
    1. Stop doing drugs and drinking all the time like an idiot wasting life!
    2. Clean up your image, get and education or skill (a real one not a fake rap image from da streets of Billerica)
    3. Get an actual job using new skill
    4. Strive to do good at said job and grow within the career field
    5. Get promoted or pursue advancement developing said skills
    6. Success often requires personal fulfillment so begin meeting women or dudes (no judgement bro) with equal or greater drive to succeed
    7. Grown professionally & personally and build a life with responsibility and ethics, be productive
    8. Start a family (if desired) and raise human beings in whom you can impart your learned experience, drive, responsibility and ultimately push “to be better than you,” this feeling positive
    9. Enjoy the fruits of your labor, a stable financial ability, grand kids, trips and the more life experiences
    10. Leave a respectable life story for people who carry your name to remember, talk about and use as a point of reference to be “good” thus creating generations of productivity

    Have fun, trips, events, and enjoyable moments through all of these 10 points…

    That’s called having a productive, self sufficient and responsible life… or in morons terms, you were just given “a bone” for a “good life”

    Now beware this requires work, commitment, maturity, responsibility and actually being a man, so continuing to take the easy road, rely on taxpayers, shopliftings, scams, a idiotic idea that swearing with background music is art, and/or generally acting like a stunted child would have to stop otherwise various points in the 10 would be sidetracked…

    See if you can follow direction asshat

    • Hart Ford
      April 20, 2019 at 6:35 pm

      This would require an upbringing not at the hands of transgenerational ratchets. These idiots are the offspring of intellectionally declining humans.
      It’s been going on for years. Should they breed, (and God forbid they do) the next generation will be little more than transportable grapefruit.

  • Gay Dave
    April 20, 2019 at 4:45 pm

    I keep reading that Ryan was a gay prostitute?
    Ryan I will let you blow my big dick if you give me a free CD cutie!

    • Gay Dave
      April 20, 2019 at 4:58 pm

      p.s. I live in Lowell and I’m pretty sure I punched your Tatted ankle bracelet friend out a couple of times years ago. He knows exactly who I am.

  • Sad Jeapordy
    April 20, 2019 at 4:31 pm

    Umm yeahh Alex I’ll take 15 of Billerica’s best rappers in a $50 Motel6 room for $100…..

    • FartherTime
      April 21, 2019 at 12:25 pm

      Look. I know Ryan Runyan personally. He’s a good kid if and when he wants to be. He had a job at Solar City with a lot of potential. He had 1000 stock options that would have been worth $275,000 if he didn’t get fired from that job for punching in and then going home…more than once I’m told…the kid sabotages himself consistently. His parents are morons who abused this kid when he was a child. Its pretty sad. He has a very good singing voice and a creative spark…but he’s using it in all the wrong ways. He lived with one of his baby momas and I hear, her dad bought him a car with insurance where he proceeded to crash the car…TWICE…he hasn’t paid child support for over 4 years and he threatens to take this same baby moma to court over custody…which is ironic…because he’s a deadbeat dad and would get steamrolled if he tried…if this idiot doesn’t wake up soon, its over and done with. Hoping he gets it someday.

  • Gawddamn
    April 20, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    You can get the clap just reading her dripping facebook ooze.

  • Nunyaaaa
    April 20, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    The girl in the pics with the idiot who started all this is JJ WHITE who wasn’t just recently being a complete fucking stalker psycho to a kid on my friends list and it’s hilarious that she moved on so quickly to this dude lmfao

    • Jefe
      April 21, 2019 at 10:06 pm

      Well, I mean, isn’t it glaringly obvious that Runyan is going triple platinum? JJ gunna be rich beeaaahhhhtch!
      Seriously tho, I think it is high time that we bring back eugenics. That video makes it apparent that nor all should be able to breed.

  • Judge dread
    April 20, 2019 at 2:24 pm

    Auntie looks like a sewer dwelling gutter slut that was spawned from a 70s hooker who does speed with Mike Lindell- the my pillow guy.

    The judge says bring back the stocks in the town square.

    • Wubba Gubba w\the Green Teeth
      April 21, 2019 at 8:56 am

      C’mon like I didnt know who Mike Liddell was?! He is single handily bringing back silk shirts, Ferrari sunglasses and the gold cross over the collared shirt look. From the sound of some of the youngsters on this site they may be enjoying mustache rides on his USA built memory foam pillows

      • Judge dread
        April 21, 2019 at 2:09 pm

        Nice.

  • Ryan Jizzy Runyan
    April 20, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    I’m a rap star wiz
    I like men’s jizz
    I like get’n high
    and blow’n Randall Guy

  • Inquiring Minds
    April 20, 2019 at 1:12 pm

    Ok Turtle Riders, whoever finds the aunties porn videos gets a gold star

  • MC Wear 2 Rubbers
    April 20, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    Mr Runyan might get a bunyon on his onion from fucking that skank
    Is that a good rap lyric?

  • Please Bleach My Eyes
    April 20, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    Can someone please reach out to the girl who’s making porn videos family and get her help. She looks like she’s been drugged up. What a disaster. I’m surprised that anyone in that hotel room could figure out how to open the door. Not an intelligent thought has ever gone through one of those heads. I feel dirty after watching any of these videos

  • Billerica Must Be Proud
    April 20, 2019 at 12:55 pm

    I hope they become tremendously famous. This is gold and might be the funniest stuff I’ve ever seen
    Did all these morons pool their allowance money to rent the motel room? Not one of those assholes has a real job. The pirate with the ankle bracelet is definitely violating his terms of release by doing drugs and drinking with underaged kids. Absolutely amazing stuff. Keep up the good work

  • BET
    April 20, 2019 at 12:26 pm

    It’s about time someone started lighting a fire under this kids ass..

  • Ashamed to ask
    April 20, 2019 at 12:26 pm

    Can someone post a link to the porn video! Asking for a friend…

    • Well, No Shit
      April 20, 2019 at 12:45 pm

      Dude, don’t bother. It’s fucking LAME, and I’m being kind.

    • Sum1
      April 20, 2019 at 1:49 pm

      All of Leah badeaus porns are on pornhub under the account “joe strokez” —- there’s three. Then if you click “related” there’s a secret fourth one.

  • jimnbo
    April 20, 2019 at 11:41 am

    Wow these losers are such losers and they dont even realize it. LMAO

    • Love Jizzy
      April 20, 2019 at 12:02 pm

      Jimbo the words your brain is struggling for that best describe me are
      UNCONSCIOUSLY INCOMPETENT

      That is the worst kind of stupid there is and I am Billerica proud

  • ANGRY GIANT
    April 20, 2019 at 10:15 am

    Billerica Barbie…. Such potential…. Such an outcome….

    Overall, it makes me wonder about contamination from the superfund toxic waste sites in Billerica.

    A baby is formed from the egg in her mother. That egg was formed in the mother when the mother was a fetus, in turn, in her mothers womb. And chemical and environmental contamination will have an impact on all the biochemical processes that go in to the growth of people.

    It just has to be the chemical and nuclear waste that has created this post-apocalyptic scene…

    • Sir Wilfred Death
      April 20, 2019 at 3:07 pm

      Sigh. Another Barbie. Just like Crack Fein Barbie. God gave these girls a gift of youthful beauty. They could have parleyed it into an education and a career or even, God Forbid, a loving husband with a job. But no. The Ghetto prevails. The tats, the drugs, the Henny. It’s all cumulative and that short window of youth ends quickly and you find yourself – Auntie.

      Heartbreaking age old story.

      Social Media is Cancer

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    April 20, 2019 at 10:11 am

    It comes down to lack of intelligence. These people average probably a 65 IQ with a 50-word vocabulary. If not for the welfare state they would be dead.

    Social Media is Cancer

  • Tim
    April 20, 2019 at 10:06 am

    You can’t spell, loser, with enough Ls for this crew.

  • Dick Trickle
    April 20, 2019 at 10:01 am

    It looks like we have the winner of the 2020 Ratchet Madness competition before the 2019 one ended

  • High At
    April 20, 2019 at 9:36 am

    I made through the high at hotel room 69 video rebuttal and now i can not get the stench of failure and weed out of my nostrils. This is what happens when losers latch on to Rap “culture”. There is no incentive to be productive adults. Learning and education are not sought. These people look and act fucking ridiculous and the worst part is the do not even realize it.

  • Sloppy
    April 20, 2019 at 9:07 am

    This shit is actually rather infuriating when you consider that we pay for their welfare, food stamps, EBT cards, etc.

  • pee wee runyan
    April 20, 2019 at 9:07 am

    Leah Badeauu has crabs she got after her faggot boyfriend(joe wigga pothier,) fucked rizzy runyan in the ass.
    Rizzy runyan (the midget) prefers black cock

    • Rizzy Loves Jizzy
      April 20, 2019 at 11:33 am

      Get yo diseases straight dawg.
      I gave him syphilis and I jammed my cock down his throat you ignorant A hole

  • Tiger Woods 9 Iron
    April 20, 2019 at 9:04 am

    Gotta get that chedda

    30 years of dem ebt and subsidies for living like animals and hos gives u generations of this garbage

    The tide will turn. Divorces now trending lower For first time in 20 years. Family normalcy coming around

    Once central bank money printing stopped and we are back on gold standard happens (2-3 years) this madness will end

    They will have to work to survive

    No more rapping at 40

    • TheCureForHope
      April 20, 2019 at 3:53 pm

      Divorces are trending lower probably because these hood rats don’t bother to get married….

  • MILFmanJack
    April 20, 2019 at 9:04 am

    Definitely WOULD auntie!! Wowsa

  • Hart Ford
    April 20, 2019 at 8:26 am

    The dumbing down of Billerica is complete. Close the schools and use the money to arm the normal citizens. Begin the purging of the stupid. Periodic virus scourges improved the breed stock of humans. Time for another. A lead virus.

  • WeRFucked
    April 20, 2019 at 8:00 am

    Nice porn video Joe & Leah. Love the camera angle from 10′ away (NOT.) Did you finish inside her Joe, then go down on her? EWW. WTF.
    She also looks quite high (Molly?) during the “YOUNG HARDCORE Tattoo Pierced Girlfriend BEGS for her Mans Big White Cock” shoot. She’s out of it.
    She should stick to working at Dunks. The tats are a major turn-off. Perhaps a rewarding career as a CNA?
    And Joe… you could have a career in gay porn you faggot.

  • Yuck
    April 20, 2019 at 7:00 am

    Ugh, these ratchet fucks are so fucking dirty and skeevy, I need to go take a bleach bath to make sure I don’t get the petri dish full of STDs these fuckers have.

  • Gutter Muppet Honey
    April 20, 2019 at 6:52 am

    Looking forward to the Live show if this thuggish ruggish bone retard calls in.

  • Livin by the Tech
    April 20, 2019 at 6:52 am

    This is the in a nutshell. This is their whole sad world. They hang out on the steps all fucking day drinking and smoking and think they are living the dream as a bunch of bad asses. I live right near them and drive by almost every goddam day. Yesterday, you’d think it was a gathering of machismo and open legs. What they don’t get is, while the neighbors avoid them like the plague, the entire street right into Burlington is laughing their asses off at them. But you can tell they don’t get it just by reading the mentality in their texts. Trust me, when you think Ricca, this is what comes to mind.

    • The Truth
      May 10, 2019 at 4:46 pm

      That would be funny if they actually lived there, Cool story tho bro so you drove by “Yesterday” April 19th that would have been and saw this well unfortunately they moved out 2 years ago so next time you make up a story to get likes and attention you didn’t get as a child might wanna make sure you get some actual facts

  • Well, No Shit
    April 20, 2019 at 6:08 am

    Thanks, TBS. I just got eye and brain cancer from reading the abject stupidity of these fucking dickholes.

    Drone. Strike.

  • Money for nothing
    April 20, 2019 at 6:00 am

    Please ask what these people do for a living.

  • retarded Ryan the onion Runyan
    April 20, 2019 at 5:56 am

    mentally retarded rappers in the game,

    rhymes with onion
    the name is runyan
    I make ur eyes water
    cuz I allergie to soap
    I sell the dope
    in my hood they call me the pope

    don’t like no soap
    I prefers the dope
    knock on my ma’s basement door
    if u looking for the pope
    pope of dope
    I don’t needs no soap
    soap

    now I gots the clap
    and burning in my throat

    • Add to this Rap
      April 20, 2019 at 9:20 am

      Too many dirty dicks,
      Done made me sick.
      These skanky thots,
      Have given me the trots.
      I need Masshealth,
      Cuz I ain’t got no wealth.
      Gimme that medicine,
      Cuz I’m the Onion Ruyan.

      Trick go sell that ass,
      Cuz daddy needs some gas.
      Sell your food stamps,
      So I can buy me some more tramps.
      Bitch u know I’m hard,
      now go steal your momma’s credit card.
      U know u want me to be your man,
      Cuz I’m the Onion Ruyan.

  • pro trump
    April 20, 2019 at 5:50 am

    klan blogs r all over this too

  • Chip Striker
    April 20, 2019 at 1:52 am

    Judging by their social media posts we may need a translator, I can’t for the life of me interpret how these animals communicate.

    Boy are theses assholes are fucking stupid, and no any publicity is not good publicity, not when people are making fun of you.

    Oh, and Rizz or whatever the fuck you call yourself, just don’t think of yourself as a man, you are far from it. Grow the fuck you loser.

  • Stiff Pete
    April 20, 2019 at 1:41 am

    I can’t wait for the live show. I hope it’s going to be as glorious as I imagine it to be. And even better Brett is back.
    Oh my Lloyd please keep it on YouTube cuz Facebook just sucks.

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