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Tag: billerica

Turtleboy Investigates

Billerica Deputy Police Chief Left Voicemail Calling State Trooper An Auschwitz Prisoner While Fighting Cancer, Whistle Blowing Cop Was Fired For Releasing Tape

Uncle Turtleboy / October 7, 2021

    Click here to read this blog on TB Daily News.     Hello Turtle Riders. As you know…

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Nudniks

Bootleg Wilford Brimley Called Out For Calling Woman Retard Because He’s The Chairman For Billerica Commission On Disability 

Uncle Turtleboy / August 4, 2021

  In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I make zero dollars off of Turtleboy Sports because I’m blacklisted…

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Social Justice Warriors

Twat Knot Salem State Professor Who Gets Paid To Be A “Scholar” In Greece Demands MIAA Punish Billerica Kids For Doing Tomahawk Chop At Game Against Somerville

Uncle Turtleboy / February 26, 2020

  This is Elizabeth Duclos-Orsello.  If missionary style had a face. As you can see from the hyphenated last name, the…

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Current events

Tewksbury Animal Who Killed Girlfriend Who Just Bailed Him Out Of Jail And Had Restraining Orders Against Him Is Also An Arrogant Cum Weasel 

Uncle Turtleboy / September 18, 2019

  Source: Police arrested Eric Griffin, 39, Sunday after the body of his girlfriend was found in the Archstone apartment complex…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Rizzy The Wigtacular Billerica Rapper Got Arrested In Wilmington For Breaking Into Cars With His Backup Dancer Derek A Month After Getting Married And Divorced 

Uncle Turtleboy / August 27, 2019

  Who remembers these spunk dumplings?   Can you believe it’s been four months since we’ve last heard from Rizzy,…

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Nudniks

Billerica Ball Washer Reignites 18 Month Old Drama With Sal’s Pizza By Writing Them A Special Message On His Barn

Uncle Turtleboy / July 25, 2019

  This is Arthur “Kippy” Lynch from Billerica. As you can see he just oozes sex appeal. He was in…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Rizzy Did Another Rap Video From A Welfare Motel Room Where He Fed Zanny Bars To Hep-C Hefalumps And It’s Even Better Than The “Throwing Me A Bone”

Uncle Turtleboy / April 23, 2019

  So last week I discovered Ryan “Rizzy” Runyan and his merry crew of Percocet goblins, when they put together…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Threats, Bootleg Porn Stars, Toilet Fetuses, Motel Live Shows: The Billerica Rappers Are Glorious Ratchets And They’re Coming On Live Tomorrow Night

Uncle Turtleboy / April 20, 2019

  MVTB dropped this hilarious blog about some upstart rappers from Billerica while I was sleeping last night, and I woke…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Billerica Rapper “Rizzy” Just Dropped His Hit Single Filmed In Elementary School Parking Lot And It Gave Me Ass Cancer

Uncle Turtleboy / April 18, 2019

  Billerica is where people from Lowell move when they wanna feel like they’ve made it in life. Hence it’s…

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Reader Emails

Internet Lawsuit Of The Day: Maura Healey And Unnamed DA Will Take Turtleboy Down Within The Hour If We Don’t Remove Blog About Billerica Buttnut Posting Creepy Pics Of Girls

Uncle Turtleboy / November 1, 2018

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary. Want to…

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Jack Kanoff On Bad Commeters

Doogie Trouser Trout Attempts To Defend Niece Who Was One Of The Billerica Bullies, Says The Victim Deserved It For Trying To Follow Niece’s Boyfriend On IG

Uncle Turtleboy / October 31, 2018

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Podcasts

MVTB And Uncle Turtleboy Rip Into Terrible Billerica Bullies And The Idiot Superintendent Who Blamed It On Turtleboy 

Uncle Turtleboy / October 30, 2018

  This episode of Uncle Turtleboy’s Light Night Garage Podcast is brought to you by the good folks over at…

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Nudniks

Billerica Superintendent Tim Piwowar Blames “Non-Reputable” Turtleboy For Reporting Violent Bullying Incident In BHS And Highlighting His Failure To Create Healthy School Culture

Uncle Turtleboy / October 30, 2018

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary. Want to…

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WTF

Billerica High School Cheerleaders Assault, Mock, Bully, And Throw A Binder At Girl’s Face In Locker Room For Attempting To Follow Someone’s Boyfriend Rumpleforeskin On IG

Uncle Turtleboy / October 29, 2018

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary. Want to…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Ginger Gumby Goes Full Cheesehog During Lowell Road Rage Incident, Treats Strangers To Proctology Porn, Shows Up To Defend Herself In Comments

Uncle Turtleboy / May 8, 2018

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.  Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.  Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever, the newest Turtleboy…

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Hoodrat Heroes

Billerica Baboon Yells Racial Slurs At Sassy Gay Lowell Clerk Who Kicked Her Out For Bumming Cigarettes, They Argue Over Who Smokes Pole For W2’s

Uncle Turtleboy / January 15, 2018

Have a tip for a story? Email us at turtleboysports@gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter by clicking here.  Follow us on…

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WTF

Billerica Bisquick Factory Makes Tummy Pancakes On Bus To Burlington Mall And Doesn’t Care Who’s Watching

Uncle Turtleboy / September 29, 2017

Billerica Bisquick Factory Makes Tummy Pancakes On Bus To Burlington Mall And Doesn’t Care Who’s Watching Want to advertise with…

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Current events

Billerica Firefighter’s Gangbang Is Gonna Cost Them All 2 Months Salary, Still Might Be Worth It

Uncle Turtleboy / June 26, 2017

Billerica Firefighter’s Gangbang Is Gonna Cost Them All 2 Months Salary, Still Might Be Worth It Want to advertise with…

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All-Star Criminals

Billerica Kiddie Diddler Masquerading As Family Man, Animal Advocate, Collared For Uploading Home Videos Of Himself With Victims

Uncle Turtleboy / April 5, 2017

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of…

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