Billerica Bisquick Factory Makes Tummy Pancakes On Bus To Burlington Mall And Doesn’t Care Who’s Watching
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What is it these days with dudes and public displays of custard chucking? The other day we blogged about some Connecticut muff who got caught wanking it in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot directly across the street from the State Police barracks. Now we get this out of Billerica:
Come on dude. What do you think this is? The Billerica firehouse? It’s a bus dude. I don’t care if you have an unlimited data plan and a great signal. Public transportation is not an appropriate venue for Redtube.
Why is this a thing now? Can people really not wait until they get home clean the rifle out? Is it the thrill of doing it? Because it’s only thrilling because there’s a good chance you’re gonna get caught. And in 2017 when you get caught it means someone is filming you and you’re gonna be on Facebook, which means you’re eventually gonna make it to Turtleboy for cranking out some of your world famous tummy pancakes.
We asked the woman who filmed it, Emily Fouracre, how long this was going on for:
“I’d say a good 30 minutes of a 45 minute ride.”
Half an hour? Good God. He was really building up for a big one. I wish I had that much time in the day to dedicate to a dishonorable discharge. She didn’t get the money shot, but it must’ve been like Mount Vesuvius up in those sweatpants. Hope he brought a change of underpants, but you know he didn’t.
The bus was evidently headed towards the Burlington Mall, where no doubt they’d find this thing:
No wonder he had to get it over with. There’s nothing that can cause unsolicited limp biscuit quite like looking at the Burlington Mall fupaslug.
According to to Emily he actually knew he was being taped by multiple people, but nevertheless he persisted with the choking of the clown. Once the bisquick gets made, you gotta make the tummy pancakes. Anyone know this guy’s name? We’d love to have him on Turtleboy Live this week. Just sayin.
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