All-Star Criminals

Thurgood Thunderrod Starts $20K GoFundMe To Marry Murdered Friend’s Girlfriend While His Fiance Is In Jail, Then Shoots Her Before Getting Into Standoff With Police In Westminster 


Here’s a fun love story out of Orange. It begins with this man:

I too occasionally park my motorcycle in the living room.

Conan Gentile is a career criminal who was arrested in Leominster in 2011 for stealing a bunch of shit, including a musket, swords, shotguns, and BB guns from a home in Sterling, just in case his trench was raided by Germans. He was sentenced to a couple years in jail, but ended up getting out early because some judge on the SJC ruled that the cops didn’t have probable cause to search the house they knew he was living in.

Noting that Trooper Napolitano had verified Mr. Gentile’s address from a state identification card and a driver’s license before the morning in question, the court concluded that the trooper did have a reasonable belief that he had the right apartment. However, it did not find Trooper Napolitano’s belief that Mr. Gentile was present to be a reasonable one, despite his testimony that Ms. Stanley appeared nervous, that she looked back in the direction of the bedroom during their conversation and that he heard “movement” inside the house.

Conan ended up getting a girlfriend who he lived with, and they became Facebook fiances.

Then his buddy got a girlfriend too named Brianna.

One day his buddy was apparently murdered for unknown reasons and Conan allowed Brianna to move in with him and his girlfriend. Next thing you knew Conan’s girlfriend went to jail (perfectly normal) and Conan and Brianna ended up getting kicked out of the home for “not up to par codes.” Once they became homeless together they were naturally drawn to one another and fell madly in love while his girlfriend rotted away in prison. They decided to get married since she had never been on a plane before (not sure what that has to do with anything, but whatever), but since they didn’t have any money they started a $20K GoFundMe to pay for it.

Best part of that glorious GoFundMe was this line:

Life had brought us together in a strange way, leaving us to naturally become lovers

Because when you get evicted from a home with your dead friend’s love while your love is in jail, due to an inability to pass health codes, you naturally become lovers with your dead buddy’s girlfriend. It’s unavoidable.

But these star closed hobo lovers were not accepted by their families, particularly because Conan put up noodz of Brianna on Facebook, got called out for it by her brother, then told her brother that he was keeping them up out of spite before her brother accused him of whoring her out for money.

Somewhere along the line they moved from Leominster to Orange, and here’s Chapter 4 of this ghettofied Nicholas Sparks novel.

Greenfield Recorder:The two suspects in custody in connection with a shooting in Orange on Friday morning have been arraigned. Orange Police Chief James Sullivan said that Conan Gentile was arraigned Friday on charges of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (firearm), misleading a police investigation, intimidating a witness/juror/police/court official and illegal possession of a firearm. He is being held at the Franklin County House of Correction in Greenfield and will be back in Orange District Court on Jan. 26 for a dangerousness hearing.

Additionally, Michael Coleman, 40, of Townsend, was arraigned on two counts of interfering with a police investigation and one charge of accessory after the fact. He was being held at the Orange Police Station. Sullivan said Coleman was originally arrested in Westminster on outstanding warrants, and was arrested again Tuesday in connection with the shooting. Sullivan maintains there is no danger to the public at this time.

According to an email from Mary Carey, spokesperson for the Northwestern District Attorney’s Office, a woman was shot inside a Lois Street residence at approximately 9:30 a.m. on Friday. The victim was taken to a nearby hospital and was expected to survive. Massachusetts State Police spokesperson David Procopio said units responded around midday Friday to assist Westminster Police with a barricaded suspect, later identified as Gentile, at the Rodeway Inn on East Main Street in Westminster. Gentile was taken into custody at roughly 1 p.m. by troopers assigned to the Massachusetts State Police Special Tactical Operations (STOP) Team.

A State Police K-9 unit and a trooper from the State Police bomb squad also responded. The bomb squad trooper “was prepared to deploy a robot into the room where the suspect was barricaded in order to provide the teams outside the room visual situational awareness of the suspect’s position,” according to Procopio. However, Gentile left the room and was apprehended prior to the robot’s deployment.

Just to review:

  • Boy moves in with girl and teenage daughter
  • Boy robs homes in Sterling for bounty of 18th century weaponry
  • Boy gets arrested and goes to jail
  • Boy gets out of jail early on technicality by activist SJC judge
  • Boy meets new girl
  • Boy gets engage to girl
  • Boy lets murdered friend’s girlfriend move in
  • Boy’s fiance goes to jail
  • Boy and murdered friend’s girlfriend get evicted
  • Boy and murdered friend’s girlfriend become homeless lovers
  • Boy and new girlfriend move to Orange and get engaged
  • Boy starts $20K wedding GoFundMe
  • Boy shoots new fiance while girlfriend rots away in prison
  • Boy gets in standoff with police in Westminster motel prompting bomb squad to send robot in to find him

If that’s not an Orange love story then I don’t know what is.


Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


71 Comment(s)
  • cricket
    January 29, 2021 at 2:17 pm

    You all act like you know the inside story. No one has written 1 thing that is correct about the situation in Orange. The good things as he was remodeling his home. Get your facts right before you start mouthing off to nobodies. I wouldn’t even waste my time looking at this site again because it’s bunk. I’m family we would know best.

  • Joe
    January 23, 2021 at 1:21 pm

    Is Orange the new black?

  • Gg
    January 22, 2021 at 9:56 pm

    Conans a good guy

    I only had one problem with him

    We drove to Everett to get some coke

    He snorted too much of it and shit his pants In the front seat of my new Denali PU

    • cricket
      January 29, 2021 at 1:37 pm

      Change your story of him drinking 10 long island ice teas. What you find out he doesn’t drink!!

  • Gold standard
    January 22, 2021 at 8:38 pm

    Okay Aidan this is gold. Sick of the BLM ish. More of this please. It’s gold

  • Fox Business News
    January 22, 2021 at 5:38 pm

    EBT cards are the official Crypto currency of the Ratchet community

  • Proud Deplorable
    January 22, 2021 at 12:58 pm

    I’d love to see GoFraud Me fact checkers.
    For example “the creator of this fundraiser has been arrested over 42 times for crimes involving assault, drug possession, robbery…they have been sentenced to over 2 years in jail..according to State records they have received over $230,000 in government benefits including. WIC, Section 8 vouchers, Mass Health and EBT…this fundraiser is rated as a Scam”

  • hartf811
    Beverly Farms
    January 22, 2021 at 10:27 am

    is everyone west of 495 a junkie?
    Nose rings and tattoos might be a give-away.

    • cricket
      January 29, 2021 at 1:41 pm

      I call BS on this wherein Gods green earth would you have access to that info which is incorrect unless of course, you could prove it

      • cricket
        January 29, 2021 at 1:57 pm

        That was for proud and deplorable. Does he know the digits ??? Right

  • Dees nutz
    January 22, 2021 at 9:03 am

    Simple. You cannot afford a wedding cause your a broke bitch boy. Then don’t get married you fuck. You don’t deserve shit you fucking thief. Next time your in jail I hope they knock your teeth out so your better at sucking the big black cock. I also hope they make you toss salad.

    January 22, 2021 at 8:55 am

    Dude looks like he came from an extra long lineage of trailer park incest. involving two brothers, a sister, a few hamsters, 4 cases of rubinoff and 2 keys of meth.
    A sure pedigree winner for the AJC widely known as,
    The American Junkie Club.
    He looks like an extra strung out Alice the Goon..

    JJ At AOL DoT C0M
    January 22, 2021 at 8:29 am

    When there were junkeloped.
    Do you think their vows were:
    till fentanyl do us part?
    Either way,
    Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time!

    Its been a while. Hope all you fruit loops have been well!

  • Charlie Parker
    January 22, 2021 at 8:12 am

    The fire ants turned jaja into coffee grounds.

    • WarWack
      January 22, 2021 at 10:31 am

      Okeechobee ooze.
      Tough to get off your shoes.

  • Pinky Tuscadero
    January 22, 2021 at 7:52 am

    Colin, your much hotter than either of those Malachi brothers.

  • Orange welfare
    January 22, 2021 at 5:27 am

    And you know everyone in this story was carrying an EBT card to boot

    • cricket
      January 28, 2021 at 11:23 am

      They’re not from Orange he’s from Fitchburg, MA you know nothing!

      • Cricket didn’t chirp loud enough
        February 23, 2021 at 8:13 am

        Destroys property/Thief/shitty crack dealer from the burg. There I fixed it for you.

  • Flat Brimmed Abraham Lincoln Stove Pipe Hat
    January 22, 2021 at 3:42 am

    Honestly I stopped reading at the town of Orange….
    That was all I needed to hear.Nothing good comes from
    or happens there.

    • Kenneth
      January 22, 2021 at 6:57 am

      Not true. Remember the happiness you experienced when you were 6 or 7 and found out that there was a town named after a color? That’s the point in everyone’s life when their opinion of the town is its peak.

      • bigdaddy
        bite me
        January 22, 2021 at 7:55 am

        I thought it was named after a fruit. Thanks for ruining my childhood

        • Kenneth
          January 22, 2021 at 10:14 am

          You are correct! There were once vast mangroves on the land before they were plowed under and replaced by post industrial blight and houses that can be repaired with bondo.

  • The ghost of Jalajhia “Raw Dog” Finklea
    January 22, 2021 at 2:17 am

    Still not as trashy as my family. After all, I got pregnant with my uncles baby and died as a trashy pregnant teen in Florida. Par for the course in my family.

  • Ma. Town animal control officer
    January 22, 2021 at 2:02 am

    The Westminster roadside inn , another Gupta Patel owned curry palace . Fucking Indians buying every store and motel in America. The main south woodsman was taken down at the West Boylston motor lodge . I went to Westminster to follow up on this story and Vincent’s county’s store had smiths country cheese blocks .

    • Timothy Leary
      January 22, 2021 at 7:05 am

      You should put your phone in another room next time you take ambien

      • Captain Trips
        Captain Trips
        January 22, 2021 at 9:40 am

        LOL awesome response Dr

      • WeRFucked
        January 22, 2021 at 12:17 pm

        That shit is funny right there. Bravo. Thanks for making me laugh.

  • Protective Custody
    January 21, 2021 at 11:29 pm

    The chick in prison dodged a bullet. Who’s laughing now?

  • Biden’s Taint
    January 21, 2021 at 11:03 pm

    Is the entire state on heroin?

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      January 22, 2021 at 9:38 am

      After a few more Biden executive orders, most likely.

      • Junkie Equal Rights Amendment
        January 22, 2021 at 1:17 pm

        Drug addiction is the new gay. Hiring quotas and special protections coming for addicts. You people need to get on this gravy train early, I’m considering claiming sex, food or gambling addiction or all 3 for myself.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    January 21, 2021 at 10:58 pm

    This beautiful yet tragic love story harkens back to the two star cross lovers, Romeo and Juliet. Though Conan and Brianna’s romance, far from idyllic, was fervid and overpowering. Amid chaos, their fragile relationship came crashing down.
    Did Conan shoot Brianna and then attempt to take his own life in that motel? Were they attempting to be together forever like Romeo and Juliet?
    For never was a story of more woe than this of Conan and Brianna.

    January 21, 2021 at 10:44 pm

    If 80 million voters swarmed the polls on November 3rd to elect Joe Biden, why does his new administration feel so afraid of the American people? No president in the past was this terrified of taking his oath of office in front of a gigantic crowd. Even Abraham Lincoln did so before a huge crowd in 1865, even as the Civil War still raged, as the photo below shows most emphatically.

    • Fear Porn Theatre
      January 21, 2021 at 11:35 pm

      25,000 national guard, plus active duty, cops from all over and various federal LE swarming DC.

      Plan is to keep most of it in place until the end of the week. Many guard and others will remain in DC longer. Because you know Trump insurrectionist and all, never mind Portland and Seattle are already rioting again.

  • Detroit Boons Represent Yo
    January 21, 2021 at 10:37 pm

    5-year-old Ape has been fatally shot by his 18-month-old simian cousin who got hold of a handgun inside a westside Detroit home.

    The toddler Chmp was playing with the gun about 9:30 a.m. Wednesday when it discharged, striking the older Ape in the neck, according to police.

    White officers were ordered to stand down and not to try to enforce racist civility laws.
    They will be required to undergo a critical race theory class and may be suspended for their actions for not having the compassion to understand THEIR CULTURE.

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      Mayor Mike Duggan
      January 21, 2021 at 11:04 pm

      Dat only one kid dat got kilt shiiiiit! Keep my city name ouch ya mouf!

      • Bill Belichek
        January 22, 2021 at 3:25 am

        We’re on to Chicago again

      • cricket
        January 29, 2021 at 2:06 pm

        Believe me your town not that special

  • Tarzan
    January 21, 2021 at 10:07 pm

    Conan is a stand up guy and he likes to party

    He did a perfect impression of John travolta in Saturday night fever during karaoke at a bar in revere after sucking down 10 Long Island ice teas
    Then he pulled a train on the whole waitress staff ( 2 of them over 60 and one guy)

    This guys a warrior I’d follow him to the gates of hell

    • Arnold
      January 22, 2021 at 6:35 am

      I think instead of warrior you meant barbarian

      • Winston
        January 22, 2021 at 8:46 am

        Warrior barbarian as long as he’s not a cunt like you

        • O’Brien
          January 22, 2021 at 10:20 am

          Go rub your ulcer you treasonous rat fearing traitor

        • Arnold
          January 22, 2021 at 5:42 pm

          And now we know who the one guy was

          • Raney
            January 22, 2021 at 7:32 pm


            He fucked your mother
            Ass to mouth style

  • Calm WhiteDad
    January 21, 2021 at 9:52 pm

    Would. No hesitation.

    • According To Tarzan
      January 21, 2021 at 10:54 pm

      He would too after 10 Long Island iced teas

  • micksmercantile
    Wastefield Bartender
    January 21, 2021 at 9:36 pm

    What in the Jerry Springer ?!?!

  • Orion
    January 21, 2021 at 9:07 pm

    Fucking Gofundme’s. “Here’s why our shit doesn’t stink and you don’t understand our impossibly perfect love, so give us money blablabla….”

  • Observer
    January 21, 2021 at 9:05 pm

    How is it when turtleboy post pictures of poor, broke, homeless, unfortunate people…….they always have tattoos. Tattoos must be free ?

    • Guinea Geisha
      January 22, 2021 at 12:54 am

      Sometimes they’re free if there’s a flash sale. Dink for ink. Tit for tat.

  • Dude
    January 21, 2021 at 9:00 pm

    Just saying.
    I would do Brianna, if she wears a paper bag over her head.
    That is all.
    Carry on.

  • Guinea Geisha
    January 21, 2021 at 7:42 pm

    Two bed bugs fell in love. They’re getting married in the spring.

  • Bill Clinton
    January 21, 2021 at 7:25 pm

    Please post a link to the noodz . Asking for a friend…

  • Covid19 is Racist
    January 21, 2021 at 7:08 pm

    Police say approximately 100 people attended a nightclub party broken up by Lawrence police early Monday morning, authorities say nobody from the illegal bar missed work. A police report said officers broke up the gathering at what Lawrence police Chief Roy Vasque worried could be a COVID-19 super spreader event. This Covid19 unfairly targets latinos and blacks.

    Police said they noticed people walking into a filthy alley on Springfield Street. As officers got closer, they heard a large group of people talking. Once inside the multifamily home, police found a smoke-filled room with about 20 tables set up with charcoal burning hookahs, and ice buckets filled with liquor bottles, according to the report.

    Police say a smoky fog machine was running inside to add to the nightclub ambiance. Smoke from charcoal burning hookahs and propane heaters inside the illegal night club caused authorities to contact the fire department.

    • You Be Raciss
      January 21, 2021 at 7:12 pm

      Its dey culture fuck off boi

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      January 22, 2021 at 10:05 am

      Imagine being a cop or firefighter in that area?

      Must either be traumatized or laughing their heads off when they get home from work

      Or both.

  • Joe um... Biden
    January 21, 2021 at 6:40 pm

    Come On Man is somebody really named that “Mary Carey, spokesperson for the Northwestern District Attorney’s Office” I thought that was a porno name man. Back in Delaware when I played division 1 football I used to watch lots of porn and I know about porn, Come on man.

    This story made me feel all warm and gooey like a soft turd squishing around in my depends, Come On Man! That reminds me where’s my tapioca pudding!

  • Panda
    January 21, 2021 at 6:30 pm

    $10 says that guy has the following in his property bag at the jail.

    1) An EBT card
    2) A shitty MetroPCS phone that only works on WiFi.
    3) Multiple shirtless pictures taken in a mirror of a public restroom
    4) A bunch of prepaid debit cards that have a balance of $0.00.

    • Bobby Finstock
      January 22, 2021 at 12:00 pm

      5) Suboxone

    • And also
      January 22, 2021 at 12:42 pm

      A wallet size picture of his Idol. Hunter Biden

  • Senior Chief Comrade Timmy Doherty, AntiFa Steal Team 6
    January 21, 2021 at 6:30 pm

    Comrades! Even though I’m 4 years sober, I’ve been drunk on conservative years for the last 24 hours! Pretty soon we will start to come after the Trumpys (we know who you are, even if you pretend otherwise) and start the transition to a real government, that reflects the people and is truly democratic socialist. By the grace of god, President Harris and Vice President Ocasio-Cortez in 4 years will put into motion plans to end white supremacy forever. All you racists and cops (one and the same) should be afraid again! When AntiFa decides to make a move it will be with very calculated attacks on known white supremacists, as has always been the case for more than half a century. Contrary to popular belief, AntiFa is incredibly and increasingly well organized. We aren’t going away…

    • Antifag
      January 21, 2021 at 7:10 pm

      Keep poking the bear dick sucker.
      It wont end well for you.

    • Death
      January 21, 2021 at 8:00 pm

      Dang it. Now the deficits going to grow even more once we are forced to subsidize cortez’s tooth polish. That b!tch got some teeth on her. But seriously though, you f@gs aint shit! Id pound your fuckin face in with your own sandal you f@ggot fu$king p%ssy. Now be a good little b!tch and empty the trash for mommy f@g boi.

    • NEwarlord
      January 21, 2021 at 9:58 pm

      Say when sweetie.

    • A lesson in the succession of power
      January 21, 2021 at 11:28 pm

      Timmicuntfacedouchenozzleragingfuckwit, If Kumswalluh Whorris steps up to the top spot, Rancid Peloser plunks her dusty flakypuff quiffbox in the number 2 spot, not the leftarded donkey with googly eyes and nice tits.

      Peace, Riders.

    • Eddie
      January 22, 2021 at 6:30 am

      Just purchased a beautiful Mossberg 20 gauge for such an occasion. Bring your sparklers and skinny jeans …faggot.

    • Ralph Kramden
      January 22, 2021 at 7:58 am

      Several thousand rounds of green tips ready when you are. Oh and btw 80 plus million say bring it on. In fact we’ll most likely start before you do.

      • Ballisticaly speaking...
        January 23, 2021 at 1:19 am

        I wouldn’t have believed it without seeing it but here’s a fun fact that I came across; Green tip is supposedly “light armor penetrating” with its 62 grain weight and steel core.
        Regular ball 55 grain 5.56 M193 actually punched through standard steel better than the M855 green tip.
        I would not have believed it unless I saw the video proof. It’s all about the added velocity in this case.
        This is why I have a more than decent amount of both types on hand.

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    January 21, 2021 at 6:25 pm

    Did he have a mask on when he shot her?

  • Rachael Rollins (D)
    January 21, 2021 at 6:05 pm

    As long as they were wearing masks and he shot her
    at least a 6-foot distance, I would have no issue with these fine
    MA residents!

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?