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Top 10 Best And Worst Characters From Orange Is The New Black Season 5 (Warning – Spoilers)

Top 10 Best And Worst Characters From Orange Is The New Black Season 5

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Orange is the New Black is a great show. Granted, you have to understand when you’re watching it that it’s extremely biased and written by people who obviously do not like police or “the system.” It’s written to make you sympathetic with criminals and want to rebel against the prison-industrial complex. But once you get that out of your system you can sit back and enjoy it because the acting is really good. Some characters are better than others though. Here’s the ten worst and ten best characters on OITNB.

********WARNING – MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**********************

Top 10 worst characters

10. Allison Abdullah

Kind of a useless character. So yea, she’s Muslim. Cool. Other than that she really brings nothing to the table.



9. Healy

I know he wasn’t in season 5, but he’ll be back so he still counts. If he was in this season he’d probably be ranked higher, because he is one of the most obnoxious and annoying characters on the show. We get it dude – you’re sorry, pathetic, lonely, you have mommy issues and you really hate the lezzies.



8. Alex Vause

She’s like Rosita from the Walking Dead. I would have no problem if they killed off her character. What does she bring to the table besides the occasional cleaning of Piper’s fish tank?



7. Taystee

A lot of people like Taystee. Not me. All this broad does is bitch and whine. She’s not particularly funny and she spent the entire Season 5 ruining the riot for everyone else. They were about to get all this great shit and she tossed it all away because she wanted to see some rookie CO arrested for an accident.



6. Pousey

I know she wasn’t alive for this season but I’m glad she’s dead. Same shit as Taystee. Not funny, not particularly interesting, stupid name, always seemed upset about something.



5. Yoga Jones

I liked Judy King, and this chick was so jealous of Judy King it hurt. Get over it. Judy King is likable, you’re not.



4. Daya Diaz

Never made sense that the gimpy CO chose her of all people to impregnate. He had a prison full of horny women and he chose the extra thick girl with an attitude. Another character who is just always angry, never makes you laugh, and really has no purpose of being on the show. The fact that the gun ended up in her hands instead of a character that’s actually interesting was just stupid writing.



3. Jenae Watson

Speaking of chicks who are in a bad mood all the time, calm your tits Watson. And her flashback episode was the dumbest flashback I’ve ever seen. Oh, it makes you sad that some white chick at a school where EVERYONE is white was appropriating black culture because there was NO ONE to play the rolls of three black cabaret singers? Life is so hard. Better go to prison because the deck is stacked against you.



2. Piper

It’s crazy to think that she is the main character of this show. Tells you how terrible she is that she’s basically the 17th or 18th most important person by season 5. Writers must’ve realized after season 1 that she’s just a boring, sexually confused SJW who occasionally likes to go swimming in the lady’s pool.



1. Soso

God, shut the fuck already. We get it, you’re a free spirit. But no one feels bad for you about your faux sadness now that your prison girlfriend is dead. So you went muff diving with Pousey in the library four or five times. Now we’re supposed to believe that you’re traumatized by it? Nah, you’re just an attention whore.


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Top 10 best characters

10. Zirconia

This chick is so underrated. In general the Spanish babes are the best actresses on the show. She’s just funny man. That smug smile she does gets me every time. Hope for more of her in season 6.


9. Pensatucky

She has the craziest back story about how she got into prison in the first place. She shot up an abortion clinic, not because she’s anti-abortion, but because the secretary at Planned Parenthood made a snide remark about all the abortions she’s had. Now the anti-abortion crowd thinks she’s a martyr so they send her cash and she milks it. But yea, she’s damaged goods, especially since she was raped by the guard that she’s now apparently in love with. Still dig her though. Wish she killed Piper in season 1.



8. Lorna

I know some people hat her, but I love Lorna. She’s a crazy bitch, but she means well and she can make you laugh.



7. Luschek

Now that porn-stache is off the show he’s the best guard. If you can even call him a guard. He’s basically just a fuck up who the prisoners manipulate for their own good.



6. Freda

Love Freda so much. They don’t show why she’s in prison, but they allude to the fact that she’s been there since the 70’s, so she probably done killed fo, five people. And she learned it all in the girl scouts!


5. Ouija

Another very underrated character. She’s a total bitch, but she’s the best actor in the entire cast and it’s not even close. She sells her role so friggin well every time she speaks. And her impressions of the other prisoners was one of the funniest scenes of season 5.



4. Black Cindy

She’s the only one of the black chicks (besides Crazy Eyes) who doesn’t always have a stick up her ass. Black Cindy just kind of rolls with it and ALWAYS got jokes. Anything for that kosher meal.



3. Crazy Eyes

She never gets old. This season was great too because she obviously needed serious psychological help but instead of getting it the boriquas just handcuffed her to a bunkbed. Pretty sad how she ended up in prison though. She basically killed an 8 year old boy. Downer.



2. Mendoza

She’s so awesome man. What a great lady with a heart of gold. She loves her kids, she’s sassy as hell, she’s loyal to the ends of the earth, and she don’t take no shit from nobody.



1. Red

Who else? As if I didn’t respect Reznikov enough as it was, once you found out her backstory you had to respect her a million times more. She is truly selfless, and you saw that when she was in Russia. She is a leader and a revolutionary who hates commies, people who fuck with her adopted daughters, and Latinas who take over her kitchen. Her stupid Russian boyfriend thought he was a rebel because he sold blue jeans. Red basically called him a pussy and ran off to America by pretending to be a Jew with the establishment guy she thought wasn’t her type but he really was.

Honorable Mention: Maritza and Flacca, Leanne and Angie, Judy King, Blanca Flores, Nikky, Maria Ruiz

Agree? Disagree? Leave it in the comments.


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6 Comment(s)
  • Idc
    July 31, 2019 at 1:13 am

    Why the fuck Poussey on the worst list fuck u to hell

  • oitnb
    June 29, 2017 at 11:53 pm

    taystees acting was AMAZING this season. shes one of the most liked characters actually. her and SUZANNE are the2 best characters. RED is your number 1 really?!?! this list actually sucks. especially disagree about ouija shes awful

  • Jon
    June 29, 2017 at 11:30 am

    The girl miritza is a bad bitch surprised she aint on a magazine cover or in won. She makes it move.

  • Mio
    June 29, 2017 at 10:37 am

    I love Tastee, I can’t believe you disagree…smh.
    I completely agree with Piper and Vague though–so sick of those two.. the writers can write them off and I wouldn’t blink twice.

  • Troubled Nostrils
    June 29, 2017 at 10:11 am

    OITNB jumped the shark early during season 2. Even my wife bailed, and she’s the type that will watch almost any stupid show until the bitter end.

    But, hey, to each his own. I mean, there are people out there that love The Big Bang Theory, which is puzzling, startling, and scary, all at the same time.

  • Wtf
    June 29, 2017 at 9:29 am

    What the actual fuck is this? I’m disappointed that tb is destined to turn into every other internet entertainment news outlet. Ever since the Rhode Island turtle chick appeared it’s been made clear that quick unfunny pointless stories will become the norm. Very sad, I’ll still scroll through for the better blogs though from turtleboy and south shore.

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