Smiles And Sunshine

Top 100 Most Popular Turtleboy Blogs Of 2015

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It’s been a busy year for Turtleboy Sports. We began the year with just over 4,000 Facebook followers. We end the year with over 21,000. TBS has quickly become the go to source for news, hot takes, and blatant in your face facts and truths. But some blogs are more popular than others. In 2014 the infamous Busgate blog got over 50,000 views, and we never thought we’d see that get beat. This year 13 blogs surpassed that. Here’s the kind of blogs that get the most views:

  • Anything with huge assholes
  • Anything that appeals to a large audience, and isn’t localized to Worcester
  • Hard hitting exposes and breaking news
  • Anything associated with Deflategate

With that said, here are the Top 101 most popular blogs in Turtleboy 2015, summed up with a Haiku….

 

11,000-15,000 page views

100. Another Principal Assaulted At Worcester North By A Student Melinda Boone Refused To Expel

North High savages

Punches 4 Vice Principals

Boone unveils dumb plan

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  1. Auburn Morons Stab A Guy For Putting A Free Couch In His Truck

Lovebirds in Auburn

Don’t want to go around truck

Stab some guy instead

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  1. Southbridge Man With Loaded Gun In Crotch Begs The Question – Why Do People Still Live In Southbridge?

Southbridge is dumpy

Moron has gun in his crotch

Would have been awesome

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  1. Moron From Hooters Blog Calls State Trooper A “Puss Bag” After Nearly Being Dragged By Arm On Mass Pike

Girl calls cop pussbag

Cuz he pulled gun on asshole

She is disgusting

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  1. Colts Caught Cheating But No One Cares When Shitty Teams Cheat – Only The Patriots

Andrew Luck injured

Colts cheat when they don’t report

Colts suck, no one cares

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  1. Buffalo Bills Fans Continue To Finger Each Other In Public, And Do Other Vile Activities

Bills fans are classy

Can’t wait for the game to end

Finger each other

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  1. Forest Grove Teachers Cyberbullied By Students While Administration Does Nothing

Shitbag FG kids

Calls teachers n word online

Kids can be assholes

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  1. One Guy At Auburn Gangbang Almost Got Away, But He Was Betrayed By His Own Ass Cheeks

Auburn gangbang man

Ass cheeks pressed against window

Everyone sees ass

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92. 5 Best And Worst Towns To Travel To In Worcester County

Holden is devil

I hate going to Fitchburg

Lunenburg sucks too

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91. Idiot Seahawks Fan Girl Writes “Open Letter” Calling Patriots Parade Celebration Classless

Seahawks fan gets mad

Says Patriots have no class

Seahawks are classless

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90. Burncoat Student Who Brought Loaded Gun And Threatened To Kill Police Is Getting Tons Of Support On Facebook

Burncoat kids brings gun

Hippies say no cops in school

Tracy Novick sucks

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89. This Story About Kelley Square Pizza Just Restored My Faith In Humanity

Kelley Square Pizza

Gives homeless vet free pizza

Heartwarming story

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88. Biggest Dumbasses In Worcester Crash 4-Wheeler Into Parked SUV On Live TV And Drive Off

Newscast in Worcester

4 Wheeler his a parked car

Fuck did I just watch?

 

87. Here Is Obama’s Guaranteed NCAA Tournament Bracket Picks

Obama’s bracket

Is really predictable

Always picks swing states

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86. “Free The Nipple” Topless Hampton Beach Day Should Be A Gigantic Shitshow

Topless chicks at beach

Horny men take their pictures

Where else but Hampton?

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85. Malden Man From The Viral Sun Fish Video Is The Greatest Masshole These Eyes Have Ever Seen

Is that a tuner?

Jay, what is that fucking thing?

Baby fucking WHEEL

 

 

84. Ahmed Mohamed Never Built A Clock And Anyone Who Believes He Wasn’t Trying To Scare His Teachers With A Bomb Is A Moron

Clock boy makes fake bomb

Pretends to be the victim

Really wants pay day

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83. Patriot Hero Plows Over Hippies Blocking I-70 In St. Louis With Freedommobile Hippie Plow

Hippies block highway

Her plows through at full speed

Hippies are speedbumps

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82. Club Promoter Blacklists Girl Who Boinked Julian Edelman And Posted It On Tinder

Girl bangs Edelman

Puts selfie up on Tinder

Internet kills her

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81. Hit And Run Recorded On Video During Riot At The Palladium In Worcester

Morons start riot

At Worcester palladium

Cops miss hit and run

 

80. Freedom Of Information Act Request On Mosaic Cultural Complex Proves That Keesha LaTulippe Is Making Bank Off The Taxpayers

Mosaic gets check

Turtle follows the money

Scumbags getting paid

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79. Here Come St. Bonaventure Fans – The Most Vile, Classless, Obnoxious, Repugnant People On Earth

St. Bonaventure

Wears poop colored uniforms

Fans are savages

6jaf3

 

78. Are Worcester’s Roads Ready For School Thursday? Turtleboy Tour Of Worcester Investigates

No school in Worcester

Morons say “back in my day”

TB tours Worcester

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77. The Shrewsbury Hooters Opens This Week And The Facebook Commentary Is Outstanding

Shrewsbury Hooters

Makses feministos angry

Dumb quotes on Facebook

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76. Worcester Man Devises Ingenius Plan To Get Rid Of Panhandlers

Too many crackheads

Need to get them out of here

Thanks Tracy Novick

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75. 10 Best And Worst High School Mascots In Massachusetts

Agawam Brownies?

Sutton Suzies and Sammies?

Worst mascots ever

lOGO

 

 

15,000-20,000 page views

74. Protesters Openly Calling For Gangsters To Kill Donald Trump Wednesday At DCU Rally In Worcester

Trump comes to Worcester

Girl tweets for gangsters to kill

What an idiot

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73. Ghettofabulous Ginger Tries Running Over Cop In BK Parking Lot, Morons Are Upset Because Cop Shot His Car

Ginger causing scene

Tries to run over cop

Gets shot, goes to jail

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72. Guy Who Confronts Food Stamp Muffs Who Buy Lottery Tickets Is A Goddamn American Hero

Muffs use their food stamps

To buy scratch tickets and steak

Steak’s for taxpayers

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71. Top 10 Ways The Patriots Cheated To Beat The Jacksonville Jaguars

Jaguars really suck

Patriots must have cheated

To beat crappy team

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70. Mother Of 7 Year Old Abused Boy Is Pretending To Be a Loving Mom Now

Deadbeat birth mom of

Hardwick boy hurt by father

Pretends to be good mom

Randall E. Lints, of Hardwick is accused of starving and abusing his 7-year-old son so badly that the young boy ?ended up ?in a coma was ordered held without bail at his arraignment on child abuse charges this afternoon.

 

69. Friday Night 2 AM At Foxwoods Is People Watching At It’s Finest

Foxwood Friday night

Collection of drunks and whores

Great people watching

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68. Update: Mom Beat Up By Bus Driver For Throwing Drink Is A Pregnant Retired Prostitute, Blames Driver For Not Letting Her Ride For Free

Wants to ride for free

Ratchet doesn’t pay bus fair

Throws drink, gets beat up

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67. Gardner Woman Stole $117,000 In Food Stamps, Social Security, Because Why Wouldn’t She?

Ratchet Gardner ho

Acquired tons of food stamps

Because its easy

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66. More Proof That Jase Dillan Lied About The Guy Filming Her On Newbury Street

Turns out Jase Dillan

Lied to Cosmopolitan

Worst singer ever

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65. Top 10 Hippie Towns In Massachusetts Where Turtleboy Would Lose His Mind

Fake monks in Wendell

Northampton hippies are gross

Amherst is the worst

shared-meditation

 

64. State Police Barracks Being Closed In Brookfield Because Everything West Of 495 Is A Joke To Boston Politicians

State Police barracks

Set to be closed in Brookfield

By Boston assholes

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63. George Carpenter Is Using His Ex-Wife’s Fenway Park Bat Injury To Take Custody Of Her Kid And Avoid Paying Child Support

Woman hit with bat

Dad exploits for custody

Biggest dooshnozzle

BOSTON, MA - JUNE 5: A fan is attended to by medical staff after she was hit by a broken bat during a game between the Boston Red Sox and the Oakland Athletics in the second inning at Fenway Park on June 5, 2015 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)

 

62. Vernon Hill Lovers Exchange Blows Outside Of Elementary School While Children Are Released

At school dismissal

Ghetto white trash fight breaks out

Still have sex later

 

61. Girl Who Put Hit Out On Donald Trump Was Fired From Job, Called Cops On Turtleboy

Girl puts hit on Trump

Job reads blog and fires her

Calls cops on TB

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60. Spencer Woman Has Other GoFundMe Scams, Claims Turtleboy Is Lying, Facts Say Otherwise

GoFundMe trap queen

Says Turtleboy Is Lying

Don’t give her money

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59. Gutless Bangor Administrators Went After Teacher Because She’s Attractive, Fun, And Likes Guns And Christmas

Teacher has pink tree

Principal Says offensive

She looks like good time

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20,000-25,000 page views

58. Top 10 Ways The Patriots Cheated To Beat The Buffalo Bills

Tom Brady wears Uggs

They give him special powers

To always beat Bills

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57. Drunk Leicester Man Does Blarney Burnout, Immediately Crashes Into Police Cruiser

Moron does burnout

Crashes into police car

Blarney miracle

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56. Webster Couple Arrested For Selling Drugs In Market Basket Parking Lot Is The Most Webster Couple Ever

Couple arrested

For drug sales in parking lot

Typical Webster

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55. Greenfield Cop In Trouble After Neighbor Takes Picture Of Confederate Flag Inside His Garage And Posts On Facebook

Terrible neighbors

Use black son as PC bait

Typical Greenfield

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54. Webster Genius Announces On Police Facebook Page That He’s Keeping It Real, Gets Emasculated

Moron brags about

Not turning in package thief

Webster cops shame him

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53. Woman Who Yelled At Screaming Kid To Shut Up At Marcy’s Diner In Portland Has Irresistible Sass

Kid wont stop screaming

Woman tells her to shutup

Becomes a hero

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52. Worcester County Towns Plow Job Rankings 1-20, Part 1

Douglas does great job

Drive on roads without dying

Dudley, not so much

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51. Former Laughlin Kennel Employee Shares Horrific Videos, Images With Turtleboy

Former employee

Shows horrific video

Injecting sick dogs

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50. Bills Babe On Craigslist Looking For Guy She Gave HJ To While Boyfriend Was In Bathroom Is The Most Buffalo Story Ever

Handjob at Bills game

Typical Bills Mafia

Bills babe wants round two

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49. Turtleboy Investigates: West Boylston HS Mom’s Viral Facebook Post Is Probably A Huge Lie

Viral Facebook post

Son suspended for helping

Turns out to be lie

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48. Missouri Protesters Are Upset You’re Worried About Paris Victims And Not Them

Paris Massacre

Makes Mizzou students butthurt

Cuz no one likes them

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47. Turns Out Guy Kicked Out Of Trump Rally Is A Terrorist, Sarai Rivera Supporter Arrested For Planting Bomb At Marine Recruitment Center

Guy calls Trump racist

Once tried bombing a building

Good friends with Sarai

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46. Avalena Conway’s Mother, Jessica Conway, Died Of A Suspected Drug Overdose Today

Turtleboy told you

Not to give to GoFundMe

Blown on heroin

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45. Doherty High School Student Gets Destroyed By A Girl For Playing Grab Ass In Staircase

Student grabs girls ass

Gets his assbeat in staircase

Slow clap for that girl

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44. Guns Stolen At Federal Armory In Worcester Down Street From Controversial Mosque A Day After Paris Terrorist Attack

Armory break in

Guns stolen near shady mosque

Days before Trump comes

Worcester-armory

 

43. Corrections Officer Jaime Fuentes Arrested After Piece of Garbage Girlfriend Steals His Gun, Falsely Claims Domestic Abuse

C.O. Arrested

Woman makes up bullshit lies

Daughter writes guest blog

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42. Spencer-East Brookfield: A School District Run By Adults Who Don’t Care About Kids

Kevin Hayes hates kids

Super Crowe lives in China

Kids be like, book please?

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41. Update To Greenfield Confederate Flag Story: Rod Hart’s Principal Contacted, Facebook Now Private, Turtleboy Blocked

Greenfield teacher Dad

With nasty pics on Facebook

Worst neighbor ever

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25,000-30,000 page views

40. North High Principal Lisa Dyer Sent Her Whole Faculty An Email Calling Teacher Janice Harvey A Racist

Color blind teacher

Called racist by principal

Who sucks at her job

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39. Joe Social Worker Explains Why It’s So Hard For DCF To Take Kids From Parents

DCF bad rep

Social worker writes letter

Explains the bullshit

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38. Lincoln-Sudbury’s 269-68 Baseball Coach Fired By Gutless AD Because Naniburger Parents Complained He Was Mean To Their Loser Kids

Sucky kids parents

Say coach is mean to their kids

Great coach gets fired

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37. Terrible Woman Mocks Easthampton Special Needs Man On Facebook, Gets Massacred By The Internet

Special needs man mocked

Internet gives sweet justice

To shitty woman

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36. Over Half Of Vernon Hill Elementary School Teachers Left This Year Because Of Their Ruthless Principal

Carenza Jackson

Is the principal from hell

Makes the teachers quit

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35. Top 20 Worst Plowed Towns In Worcester County, Part 2

Northboro is good

North Brookfield is a death trap

Four wheel drive or die

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34. Top 10 Most Breathtaking Neighborhoods In Worcester

Ranking the top ten

Worst neighborhoods in Worcester

Nothing beats Main South

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33. Hubbardston Madame Who Organized Auburn Gangbang Is The Most Cutthroat Businesswoman I’ve Ever Seen

Blue balls everywhere

When cops raid Auburn gangbang

Girls never get paid

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32. Disgraced Webster Puppy Mill Owner Now Working At Oxford Puppy Mill

Webster puppy mill

Sells sick dogs to customers

Now works in Oxford

 

31. It Takes A Special Kind Of Butthurt To Call The Cops On The Leicester Christmas Lights

Leicester Christmas Lights

Nearly ended when cops called

By butthurt neighbors

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30. Webster Parking Lot Fight Was Like Every Nat Geo Wild Show I’ve Ever Seen

Ghetto ass kids fight

Try to make it on WorldStar

Webster is a dump

 

30,000-35,000 page views

29. Top 10 Ways The Patriots Cheated To Beat The Cowboys

Too many white guys

Patriots have penises

Hardy don’t hit men

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28. Worcester 15 Year Old Shot On Lincoln St At 4 AM Glamorized Gangsta Life On Facebook While His Parents Did Nothing

15 year old shot

At 4 AM at Motel

Mom calls him “soldier”

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27. David Prouty Students Walking Out Of Class In Protest Is The Most American Thing You Will Ever See

Students stage walkout

After teachers are fired

Everyone likes them

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26. Birth Mother Of Deceased 2 Year Old Girl Is Blaming Everyone Except Herself

Two year old girl dies

Mom was in jail, blames neighbors

Starts GoFundMe scam

 

35,000-40,000 page views

25. Chill WPI Frat Bro Just Made The Greatest Worcester Rap Video We’ve Seen To Date

Worcester rap video

Made by chill college frat boy

Best song of the year

 

24. Celtics Stabber Baby Gangsta’s Braintree Friends Are Magnificent Creatures

Friends defend scumbag

Say stupid things on the news

We all laugh at them

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23. Worcester Man Runs Up $2.7 Million Ambulance, ER Bill By Getting Drunk All Day Every Day

Guy gets drunk all day

Calls ambulance for free rides

Free hospital food

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22. Foxboro High School Bans American Flag Picture From The Yearbook, Deeming It “Offensive”

Yearbook pic with flag

Banned because it’s offensive

TB on Hillman

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21. Spencer Man And Fiance Assault Worcester Cop, Get Away, Brag About It On Facebook

Assholes assault cop

Brag about crime on Facebook

Worst criminals ever

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40,000-45,000 page views

20. Right On Cue: Bella Bond’s Dad, Grandma All Of A Sudden Care Now That The Cameras Are Rolling

Moves to Florida

After Baby Bella born

Claims to be good dad

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19. Firetruck Goes Down Street Sideways Because Worcester City Manager Decided Not To Plow The Roads Today

First snow of the year

Ed Augustus doesn’t plow

Clusterfuck ensues

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18. Joe Amoroso Renames Bella Bond For Public Funeral Because He Is The Biggest Narcissist Who Ever Lived

Alleged sperm donor

Renames daughter after death

Hate this guy so much

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17. Spencer Couple Using 3 Year Old Kid To Scam People With Bogus GoFundMe

Laziest “parents”

Want you to pay for their lunch

Cuz they don’t want jobs

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45,000-50,000 page views

  1. UPDATE: Bridgewater Teen Found Safe In Wareham, On Second Thought She’s A Selfish D’bag

Teenager missing

Turns out she ran away

To bang her boyfriend

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  1. Viral Video Of Worcester Police Gang Unit Being Harassed While Doing Their Jobs Explains Why Worcester Is Turning To Shit

Murder in Worcester

Cops trying to find bad guys

Assholes don’t help out

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50,000-55,000 page views

  1. Woman From Viral Newbury Street Sexual Harassment Video Is Lying So You Will Buy Her Crappy Country Album

Craziest woman

Tries to sell crappy album

By stalking some guy

 

  1. Joe Amoroso Blaming Neighbors For Bella Bond’s Death, Says He’s A Hero And Doesn’t Approve Of Gay People

Says he loves Bella

Yet he moved to Florida

Never met daughter

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55,000-60,000 page views

  1. “Baby Gangsta” Arrested For Stabbing At Celtics Game Might Be World’s Biggest Asshole

Stabbing at Celtics

Baby Gangsta Arrested

Whitest kid ever

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  1. Baby Doe’s Mother Rachelle Bond’s Facebook Page Proves That She Is Human Garbage

Crackhead has baby

Lets other crackhead kill her

Worst mother ever

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60,000-75,000 page views

11. Grafton Hill Rap Video Is The Hottest Shit I’ve Ever Seen

So Worcester it hurts

Hennessy, out of nowhere

Feelin gooooo-ooooooo-oooooodddd

http://tbsports.wpengine.com/grafton-hill-rap-video-hottest-shit-ive-ever-seen/

 

  1. Leader Of Free College Movement Keely Mullen Has Millionaire Father, Goes To Northeastern, And Lied On Neil Cavuto

Rich girl on TV

Says she wants free tuition

We all laugh at her

 

  1. Judge Berman Laughed At Roger Goodell Today And Made It Clear Tom Brady Will Not Be Suspended For Any Games

Four game suspension?

How bout, no, Roger Goodell?

Tom Brady is free

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75,000-100,000 page views

  1. Meet UConn Student Luke Gatti – The Biggest Drunken Asshole Who Has Ever Lived

Worst drunk kid ever

Jalapeno mac and cheese

Makes you do dumb things

 

  1. Protesters Who Protest For Guy Who Shot Boston Cop Are The Worst Protesters Of All The Protesters

Cop shot in the face

Assholes still harass the cops

Black lives matter frauds

(Boston Ma 03/27/15) Tension between onlookers and police after the police involved shooting become a pushing match work near the scene a the corner of Crawford St and Humboldt Ave where the shooting happened, Friday, March 27, 2015, in Boston. Herald Photo by Jim Michaud

  1. 21 Massachusetts Towns & Cities That Are Bigger Dumps Than Worcester

Ware and Athol suck

Holyoke is a huge dump

Don’t move to Lawrence

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  1. Hampton Beach: The Walmart Of New England Beach Towns

Walmart of beach towns

Morons think Hampton is cool

White trash capital

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  1. Top 11 Ways The Patriots Cheated To Beat The Giants – 130,172 page views

Pats had ten fingers

JPP only has eight

Don’t respect safe space

 

  1. Boston Globe’s Portrayal Of Bella Bond’s Dad As A Victim Is Everything That Is Wrong With The Media – 154,549 page views

Joe Amoroso

Pretends to love Bella Bond

World’s biggest asshole

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  1. Top 10 Ways The Patriots Cheated To Facialize The Steelers  – 158,784 page views

Patriots cheated

Belichick does a rain dance

Big Ben can’t throw the ball

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  1. Brockton Fair 2015: Magical Land Of Fires, Gunshots, Robbery, And Pregnant Women Ripping Butts – 173,776 page views

Brockton is ghetto

Pregnant woman ripping butts

Mother of the year

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Here’s the blogs that nearly made the cut:

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Thanks for riding the Turtle this year. We look forward to another successful year of exposing and laughing at debauchery. What was your favorite blog of Turtle year 2015?

 

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