All-Star Criminals

Top 20 Mugshots From The Rhode Island Food Stamp Fraud Bust

 

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There was a huge food stamp bust in Rhode Island yesterday as 62 of the most ratchtastic slugpumps you’ll ever see were arrested for failing to disclose felony warrants that would’ve prohibited them from collecting nearly half a million dollars in EBT. The most alarming part about this are all the able bodied adults who collect from the government. And these are just the ones with open warrants. God knows how many other EBT-Rex’s are collecting checks every week for the rest of their lives for doing absolutely nothing. The mugshots were amazing, so I decided to celebrate Food Stamp Friday by giving you all my Top 20….

 

20. Donald Beals, Woonsocket

Donnie has warrants for Crank and Obscene Telephone Calls. Although the most obscene thing about him is the carpet full of pubes that he calls a neckbeard.

 

19. Carol Bourque, Providence

Guarantee poor Carol here wakes up every morning and says to herself, “feels like a grey hoodie kind of day,” before cashing in her stamps for losing Keno tickets.

 

18. Janice Benevides, Cranston

If emphysema had a face.

 

17. Kimberly Haas, Providence

Kimberly is what happens when your 6th grade gym teacher decides to pick up a bad meth habit.

 

16. Robert Gross, Cumberland

Looks like illegally collecting food stamps wasn’t enough for Robert Gross to pay the bills, which is why he had to start a GoFundMe entitled, “Disability,transportation,paybills.”

Although I would’ve chipped in for “Need2buyanewspacebarbutton.”

 

15. Kelly Medico, Pawtucket

Oh how the mighty have fallen……

Of course she has plenty of money for iPhones and Uggs because……priorities.

 

14. Anne Demers, Providence

Anne is not the least bit fazed by this at all. She’s actually shocked to still be alive at this point, and as soon as she’s released she’ll be cashing in her stamps for dollar Narragansetts at a watering hole near you.

 

 

13. Artayhia Towns Providence

Artyhia is “self-employed”

AKA, she gets paid to keep her caps lock on and bitch and whine about her crotch fruit (who she named “BLESS’YN) who likes to wake up at 2:43 AM and watch cartoons.

 

12. Rosemarie Torres, Providence

Looking like Miss Swan ate a bucket full of Sour Patch kids.

 

 

11. Amanda Irons, Pawtucket

Amanda fires out crotch fruits and doesn’t hold back on making sure they look fly as hell.

And despite actually having the father of her child in her life, she still collects from the government while having warrants out for larceny over $1,500.

 

 

10. Phillip Ware, Woonsocket

How? How in the hell does an able bodied male in their young 30’s become eligible for food stamps? Probably because it’s hard to get a job when you turn your face into a pin cushion.

 

 

9. Robert Elgar, Providence

Another able bodied male who somehow qualifies for free shit, courtesy of the taxpayers. Don’t get it twisted though – he’s a baller.

 

 

8. Luz Rodriguez Woonsocket

Good Lord, it’s the love child of Pete Davidson and Whoopie Goldberg!

 

 

7. Gloria Kane, Providence

Gloria works at “Pissin People Off.”

She’s got warrants for stealing cars but needs to cash in her food stamps for blunts and hair coloring money, so she probably just forgot to tell the DTA office about her Google trophies.

 

 

6. Diane Stad, Woonsocket

Great Scott!! This is what happens when the Cabbage Patch kids move to Woonsocket!!

 

 

 

5. Melissa Oliveira, Warwick

That is the most War-wack face these eyes have ever seen.

 

 

4. Misti Bowen Providence

Poor girl looks like she was just giving out blowjobs in the ER. Food stamp fraud is a great way to get your kids back from the DCF fairy.

 

 

 

3. Phyllis Coates, Providence

Phyllis has no kids, but still is eligible to collect because according to her, “I just want to live stress free and comfortable.”

And by that she means always having ample supply of Henny.

Blunts

Getting your hair did with your iPhone while sipping on a Coors Light

And tittoos with Roman numerals that she doesn’t understand the meaning of.

 

 

 

2. Deeanna Descy, Woonsocket

That right there is the official mascot of Woonsocket if I’ve ever seen it. She’s way too busy solving crimes on Facebook to be bothered to get a job though.

 

 

1. Christopher Coutcher, North Smithfield

Christopher here looks like a sound investment for taxpayer dollars. Remember, the point of welfare is to lend a helping hand so that people who are struggling can get through a tough time and become self-sufficient. But as you can see here, every single person on this wonderful list has used EBT as a lifestyle instead of as a helping hand.

You would think that it’s common sense for the government to do a basic background check on people before giving them taxpayer money, but apparently we’re just trusting the ratchets to disclose if they’ve got open warrants before getting that check. Makes sense!

 

 

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43 Comment(s)
  • Garbage
    March 25, 2019 at 9:08 am

    Line em up and shoot them.

  • Dentures
    March 24, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    Send this article to the Daily Mail please. The world needs to see this nonsense originating from RI.

  • Dentures
    March 24, 2019 at 4:31 pm

    Why does it seem like they are all missing teeth/jaws/chins?

  • Ratchetsaurous Rex
    March 24, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    Kelly Medico This chicks running around claiming sainthood. Just told me she’s living that sober life and doing that next right thing. Meanwhile….. she ends up here on TBS. Karma much?

  • ForkyaselfLP
    March 24, 2019 at 10:55 am

    Extremely high rate of atcha-forya in that bunch!

  • Fat Matt
    March 24, 2019 at 6:08 am

    Diane Stad is really Fatty Patty from the Garbage Pail Kids.

  • Natasha
    March 23, 2019 at 10:33 am

    I feel like we (rightfully) give Bristol a lot of credit, but SSTG doesn’t receive the accolades she deserves. You’re hilarious, SSTG

  • Natasha
    March 23, 2019 at 10:31 am

    Lovechild of Whoopi and Pete Davidson was spot on

  • TJB
    March 23, 2019 at 9:51 am

    Syphilis Coates; picture #7 has Syphilis and her domingo dumbass boyfriend who looks like his head is about to explode. Yes, these bums are mostly White because RI is mostly White. Lets see the starting line up for lawrence. I call bullshit on the MBTA signs on trains and busses with deadbeat dads-all White guys. They wont print the truth (mostly brown) because….Dat’ be Rayciss!!

  • 5 star clam slam
    March 23, 2019 at 4:05 am

    Plot twist; These are all the same 5 people. Faces of Meth Reboot Erode Island

  • ms100
    March 23, 2019 at 3:32 am

    What low life trash. Why are our politicians enabling this behavior? We need to be a lot tougher about expectations for being a productive citizen and having the big stick to enforce it. And we certainly shouldn’t be incentivizing trash like this to reproduce. I was poor once with a dysfunctional family and it’s certainly possible to work your way out of it. They need support but not the hammock that they are used to.

  • Just Curious
    March 23, 2019 at 2:25 am

    Why would anyone as ugly as TB make fun of someone else’s looks?

    • Ratchetsaurous Rex
      March 24, 2019 at 1:12 pm

      Because TB isnt a low life. Betcha he’s far better looking than you could ever be.

  • SMH
    March 23, 2019 at 12:27 am

    My favorite is Joseph Summerville who looks to have spent the last 10+ years constantly stoned.

  • Kosh Naranek
    March 22, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    Not only did they fall out of the ugly tree, but they hit EVERY branch on the way down!

  • The angry taint
    March 22, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    looks like a lot of them were using a butter product to comb their hair.

  • PSA
    March 22, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    “Remember, the point of welfare is to lend a helping hand so that people who are struggling can get through a tough time and become self-sufficient.”

    YES! THANK YOU!

  • Ewwww all of you
    March 22, 2019 at 8:03 pm

    Okay, on that misty chicks mouth, is that a herpes break out? Or is it a bite? This is a beautiful collection of failed abortions lmao

  • Jack Mehoffer
    March 22, 2019 at 7:08 pm

    Great job produced two whole blogs today really makes me want to open my wallet for your content. I’ll just deal with the adds.

  • M
    March 22, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    I’m actually surprised you can’t get fs if you have a record. I thought the democrats would change that with some bs about discrimination on poor people.

  • DNC Lineup
    March 22, 2019 at 6:39 pm

    Are these the Democrats Vice President choices for 2020 ?

  • Burlando Castile
    March 22, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    First she gets caught helping her daughter cheat her way into college and now Lori…sorry, Bori(cua) Laughlin is cheating her way into getting food stamps. My, how the mighty have fallen!

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    March 22, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    I Love it! Yes yes yes! Finally a victory for the working man….

    • Y
      March 22, 2019 at 6:59 pm

      A victory would be when they change the law, or at least enforce the current laws, but it’s a step in the right direction.

  • Linda
    March 22, 2019 at 6:20 pm

    Who the hell fills out the paperwork for them? JESUS. Enough already.
    And what address do they use to get their mail?

  • White Privelage For Days
    March 22, 2019 at 5:55 pm

    This is abominable. Did you know, you can’t use food stamps at Davila? By the way, the Maine Lobster Rissotto is to die for. I’ll be sure to avoid “Woon Sock Ett?” On my wait to Newport this summer. Caió!

  • Randall Loves This
    March 22, 2019 at 5:55 pm

    That’s not a very diverse looking crowd. There’s more priveledge in that group than I would have expected.

  • SnarkyRider
    March 22, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    I’m not surprised one bit that these people are handed out money by the state. One of my kids is a junkie. They steal, scam, and many other things to get $ for the drugs. Yet, Massachusetts gave the kid and the partner food stamps every month knowing damned well they are able bodied.
    It makes me want to go down and get the application, talk to a DTA worker just to see why they allow this.

    • Y
      March 22, 2019 at 6:29 pm

      God bless you, and your son, but don’t stoop to that level. Good luck.

  • so......
    March 22, 2019 at 5:25 pm

    What happens next? Do they get released with no bail, refile for stamps and get double the amount now that they are felons?

  • z
    March 22, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    This is some kind of fucking joke, right? RIght?
    Looks like the bar scene from Star Wars.

    • John Blutarsky
      March 22, 2019 at 7:05 pm

      Go have a look at the rest of them that they rounded up. TB picked twenty, but there are much more than that on the link they gave. Must have been hard choosing which ones to put on here.

  • Warwick proud
    March 22, 2019 at 4:55 pm

    • TheCureForHope
      March 22, 2019 at 7:41 pm

      Oh stop! Disgusting! How low can one stoop? (Actually, she stooped pretty low!).

  • Caesar Augustus
    March 22, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    Ah, my IP address is now a TB famous tittoo.

    • Kat v d
      March 22, 2019 at 6:26 pm

      That’s a pair of National Geographics right there. She shoulda used all that vertical canvas for something cool like an unraveled ancient scroll or a waterfall.

      • Y
        March 22, 2019 at 6:31 pm

        Haha, both of y’all’s comments are thumbs up!
        Her tits look like cow utters; guaranteed, they hit the floor when the bra is undone.

  • Ivory Flakes
    March 22, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    I bet you throw a bar of soap at them they would wither away

  • Kill it With Fire
    March 22, 2019 at 4:52 pm

    All registered Democrats
    Such a handsome lot
    I bet Bill Clinton would bang all of them

  • LMFAO
    March 22, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    Fourth looser I’ve crossed paths with (through school or work) that made turtle boy… Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, yes you Kelly Medico… I knew someday karma would catch up to you.. looks like it’s been railing you non stop you nasty scunt! Kelly is a despicable human, just so we are clear.

  • Charlie Baileygates
    March 22, 2019 at 4:39 pm

    Lee Harvey, what are you doing in that car with Phyllis Coates? Get out and finish your physics homework.

  • Y
    March 22, 2019 at 4:34 pm

    Does anyone know their Tinder profiles?

  • Eobard Thawne
    March 22, 2019 at 4:33 pm

    Almost a full set of teeth! Junkies, each and every one of them.

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