All-Star Criminals

Toys For Twats Skagbag Robs Children’s Charity Bucket At North Brookfield Cumberland Farm’s, Forgets That She’s Southbridge’s Most Notorious Junkbox

Toys For Twats Skagbag Robs Children’s Charity Bucket At North Brookfield Cumberland Farm’s, Forgets That She’s Southbridge’s Most Notorious Junkbox

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Sometimes I think people are just TRYING to become Turtleboy famous. Like this twatsicle:

Come on now. Toys for tots? You could’ve robbed anyone, and you robbed a children’s fucking charity? Da fuq is wrong with you? If you just stole money out of someone’s pocketbook you probably wouldn’t end up on our blog. But when you take from a kid’s charity at Christmas, it’s like you wannabe on Turtleboy for eternity.

It took commenters about five seconds to start reporting the same name over and over again:

Of course she’s from Southbridge!! Although her Google trophies indicate that she once lived in Worcester:

We couldn’t find anyone named Lisa Graves from Soutbridge matching that image on the Facebook machine. But we did find it with the stripper version of the same name:

Yup, that face looks a lot like the one seen on Cumberland Farm’s world class security cameras:

Twas the night before Christmas and a skag she did snatch it

Christmas is now ruined because of this ratchet

The tramp was all nestled and her legs they did spread

While visions of Newport 100’s danced in her head

You know she spent it all on booze and cigarettes right. That’s just science.


P.S. Comment of the century, borrowed for our title:

5 Comment(s)
  • foul balls
    December 18, 2017 at 5:28 am

    if she had all the schlongs sticking out of her that shes’ had sticking into her, she’d look like a porcupine.

  • Stephanie
    December 17, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    It’s the seaon of giving not the season of taking Lysa.
    This lady was what People would say was an all american sweetheart in school. Sadly, Drugs made her into the Adult she is. I feel sorry for her Family, for her son who has to deal with having his Mom behave this way. Her life is either going to end soon from OD’ing or in Jail. She clearly has not hit rock bottom.

  • Buttahd Lobsta
    December 17, 2017 at 10:45 am

    You gotta admit, that’s pretty low.
    Low class welfare bitch on all sorts of “assistance”. Yer kidding me, for God’s sakes where are your morals? Man, there’s a delemma, suck stinky Clyde off for $10 bucks, or steal from innocent children, at least Clyde is presumed guilty until proven innocent, but for God’s sakesake stealing the kids charity jar is lower than low.

  • Narcanista
    December 15, 2017 at 5:39 pm

    Narcan is from Narcanistan.
    Clonazepam is from Klonopinistan.
    The two countries have been in bitter conflict ever since the Fentanilians have demanded their ethnic homeland back.

  • TortugaNino
    December 15, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    That facebook photo is funny as all hell, $20 says that she is far more familiar with the other kind of “pearl necklace”.

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